Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Prostitutes and Gelato (2007)
Robert Wagner: Teddy Leopold
Photos
Quotes
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Teddy Leopold : Charlie, I'm in love with your mother.
Charlie : B... But you could do so much better!
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Teddy Leopold : [Charlie is sitting on the deck, instead of going to Las Vegas with Teddy] This is your other plans?
Charlie : Not all of them. Later, I'm gonna go inside and watch some girl-on-girl porn.
Teddy Leopold : Beautiful.
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Charlie : Don't you have your own friends?
Teddy Leopold : Charlie, when you get to be my age, most of your friends are either married or dead.
Charlie : What's the difference?
Teddy Leopold : The dead ones smell up my plane!
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Teddy Leopold : Did I do something to tick you off? Y'know, aside from slipping it to your mother?
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Teddy Leopold : Do me a favour. Let's keep this between us. I want your mother to think I went on a business trip.
Charlie : No problem. My mother still thinks I went to college.
Teddy Leopold : Beautiful.
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Teddy Leopold : [Watching a fight together in Las Vegas] Charlie, you need anything?
Charlie : Teddy, if I was any happier my pants would be wet!
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Teddy Leopold : Unbelievable. An 18-second fight. It takes me longer to start peeing!
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Alan : [Teddy asks for Charlie's and Alan's blessing to marry their mother, but Charlie doesn't approve] C'mon, Charlie! Wouldn't it be great to have a dad again?
Charlie : I'm a grown man, Alan. I don't need a father anymore.
Tiffany : [Approaching Teddy] Would any of you gentlemen like a date?
Teddy Leopold : Sorry, darlin', I'm taken. But I wouldn't mind footing the bill for my two boys here.
Amber : [to Alan] Hi, I'm Amber.
Tiffany : [to Charlie] I'm Tiffany.
