Two buds and three gals take a trip to some remote backwoods for a weekend of camping, drinking, maybe some sex, drinking, hiking, drinking, maybe some sex...you get the idea. These mindless teens sitting around a campfire are startled by a stranger telling the typical old story of a maniac killer hiding in the woods. Its pretty obvious what is about to happen. The gore is mostly "off camera" and the nudity is, well...nothing to go blind over. The acting is horrible and of course there is always a character that is so obnoxious you want him killed first. Two flats on the SUV with a dead battery and cellphones mute for lack of signal...odds of getting out of the evil woods are not too good. Credited for being in the cast: Dedan Donovan, Matilda Saliasi, Ken Herron, Ivory Dortch, Tamara Czartoryski-Borbon and Brian Burns.
30 Reviews
The Awful Woods....
imdb-168404 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
So a group of young people decide to go camping in some woods. Little do they know the horror that awaits them. And that's just the script.
It may be easier to kill off unlikeable characters, but when the main character does little more than walk around shouting "Fuck!" and "Bitches!" (at the female characters) for most of the film, like some sort of deranged Tourettes sufferer, we don't so much feel antagonistic toward him, as pity him.
The desperation of the makers of this film really shows through when two of the girls decide to go topless around half way in. No particular reason, and it's not even sunny or hot.
And that's pretty much the film. Lots of pointless swearing, wandering around and acting like jerks, and some guy in a duffel coat creeping around wielding an axe, who dispatches all of them one by one, in pretty much the same way - a quick chop to the back of the skull or neck.
Oh yes, there's some guff thrown in about a ranger who died in horrific circumstances and now stalks the woods, but we never get to find out if it actually IS the ranger or not. We have a couple of suspects, an unpleasant yokel and a mysterious hiker, but it turns out it's neither of them. It doesn't seem supernatural, because at one point one of the jerks touches the guy. But then one the girls has a "vision" of the axeman whilst topless on the jetty? Nothing's really explained, and no sooner is the final young idiot dispatched, than the film abruptly ends in a highly unsatisfying way.
No plot development, no character development, dreadfully clichéd "story" and poor acting. Not even worth watching to pass the time.
It may be easier to kill off unlikeable characters, but when the main character does little more than walk around shouting "Fuck!" and "Bitches!" (at the female characters) for most of the film, like some sort of deranged Tourettes sufferer, we don't so much feel antagonistic toward him, as pity him.
The desperation of the makers of this film really shows through when two of the girls decide to go topless around half way in. No particular reason, and it's not even sunny or hot.
And that's pretty much the film. Lots of pointless swearing, wandering around and acting like jerks, and some guy in a duffel coat creeping around wielding an axe, who dispatches all of them one by one, in pretty much the same way - a quick chop to the back of the skull or neck.
Oh yes, there's some guff thrown in about a ranger who died in horrific circumstances and now stalks the woods, but we never get to find out if it actually IS the ranger or not. We have a couple of suspects, an unpleasant yokel and a mysterious hiker, but it turns out it's neither of them. It doesn't seem supernatural, because at one point one of the jerks touches the guy. But then one the girls has a "vision" of the axeman whilst topless on the jetty? Nothing's really explained, and no sooner is the final young idiot dispatched, than the film abruptly ends in a highly unsatisfying way.
No plot development, no character development, dreadfully clichéd "story" and poor acting. Not even worth watching to pass the time.
Bad.... but there's worse out there
Blue_Martian20 June 2008
I didn't have any expectations when I watched this so I wasn't disappointed. I don't know anything about the production of this movie but it reminded me of some kind of a student film, as such I tend to be more forgiving.
All in all this was pretty bad, lacking pretty much every aspect of a good horror movie or thriller.
However there is one great aspect to this movie, the lead character is pretty damn funny. You know that type of character in a horror movie you just can't wait to see die. This guy brings it to a whole new level and really is the only reason I kept watching this movie.
That said there wasn't really any point to this movie and you could do worse and better at the video store.
All in all this was pretty bad, lacking pretty much every aspect of a good horror movie or thriller.
However there is one great aspect to this movie, the lead character is pretty damn funny. You know that type of character in a horror movie you just can't wait to see die. This guy brings it to a whole new level and really is the only reason I kept watching this movie.
That said there wasn't really any point to this movie and you could do worse and better at the video store.
an absolute joke
pipsqueakspace9 April 2009
Probably the absolute worst movie i have ever seen. I don't mean this simply in the way that many people say that lots of movies are the worst ever. I say this with complete and utter truth. The acting was horrible but even worse was the screenplay and storyline. My gosh, this film does not even pass Highschool level. I am completely serious. I watched it because i couldn't find any reviews about it, but damn. Save yourself the time you would waste on such an abomination. An absolute joke. How can the director have the guts to put his name on such a film?
Don't watch this.
Don't watch this.
Why do they make stuff like this?
jstedmund15 June 2008
You know the horror genre has some really great films. It is just a shame that so many idiots out there think they can just throw something together and make a good one and fail, giving the genre a bad name. You have got to be kidding me that anybody even reading the script(If there was one)thought this was going to be good. I'm sure they suckered some young people to be apart of their crew by promising meals and credit instead of any pay for their time. Wow, you gave them a garbage flick to put on their resume. That will really impress Robert Zemeckis or Michael Bay to hire them to do something better. We have 5 young people that all hate each other camping out for no real reason. I spent most of the time watching this trying to figure out why I was watching it until I skipped to the end. Really bad movie.
Anybody saying this movie is good is somebody who knows these people and feels sorry for them.
Anybody saying this movie is good is somebody who knows these people and feels sorry for them.
The Worst Movie Ever
ginsbergen23 July 2008
This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. I feel embarrassed for supporting them even by illegally downloading it.
The worst actors ever. And the ugliest, hands down. God, especially the two fugly wannabe dykes.
There are not ten lines of text that I could possibly provide to spell out how freaking terrible this movie really is. I watched it with a group of friends, and we all wanted to hang ourselves after the credits finally freaking rolled. The worst movie of all time. The fact that people can make careers out of being in movies as terrible as this truly depresses me. God, this movie sucked so bad.
The worst actors ever. And the ugliest, hands down. God, especially the two fugly wannabe dykes.
There are not ten lines of text that I could possibly provide to spell out how freaking terrible this movie really is. I watched it with a group of friends, and we all wanted to hang ourselves after the credits finally freaking rolled. The worst movie of all time. The fact that people can make careers out of being in movies as terrible as this truly depresses me. God, this movie sucked so bad.
It's amazing what u can't do with a $3.00 budget!
blakemk11 August 2008
Dear lord, if you want to see a movie with Terrible acting, disgusting plot, and the most common looking villain to date (not to mention the marijuana that looks like twigs they picked up off of the ground) then see this movie.
Wow I did not think a movie could get a lower budget until I seen the evil woods. The sheer thought that others paid well earned money to see this makes me sick! I am not one to normally post comments, but when I saw this movie I just couldn't resist.
At first glance I thought "well at least it will be good for a laugh." but no! everything about this movie is flawed, the plot, the dialog, the acting, the killer, and the scene of random nudity. The writer probably only wrote thirty minutes of dialog then decided to add "dude" and "man" to every second line. This is a movie best forgotten. So please do not waste time and money on this abomination.
Wow I did not think a movie could get a lower budget until I seen the evil woods. The sheer thought that others paid well earned money to see this makes me sick! I am not one to normally post comments, but when I saw this movie I just couldn't resist.
At first glance I thought "well at least it will be good for a laugh." but no! everything about this movie is flawed, the plot, the dialog, the acting, the killer, and the scene of random nudity. The writer probably only wrote thirty minutes of dialog then decided to add "dude" and "man" to every second line. This is a movie best forgotten. So please do not waste time and money on this abomination.
Is this some sort of conspiracy?
eternitycomplex9 August 2010
This is one of the most horrible movies I've ever seen. Almost every aspect of the movie is terrible... you name it, they blow it. Bad writing, bad acting, bad direction, bad camera work (it's a face-hugger), bad lighting, bad special effects, bad sound effects... I could go on and on. And the viewer is forced to be painfully aware of the fact that the filmmakers are trying their HARDEST to stretch every scene to make the movie reach an acceptable full length run-time. Heck, you might actually be able to make this movie watchable if you took the footage and edited it down to 30 minutes. But at 83 minutes it's excruciating.
But here's why I ask if this is a conspiracy: What the F++K is the director of this piece of crap doing directing a movie starring Bruce Willis and Forest Whitaker? Has the world gone insane? Click on director Aaron Harvey's name and you will see that he is supposedly currently directing a movie called "Catch .44" with all sorts of well known actors. How did this happen? What the F++K is going on here? I'm dumbfounded. This must be a joke or a mistake.
But here's why I ask if this is a conspiracy: What the F++K is the director of this piece of crap doing directing a movie starring Bruce Willis and Forest Whitaker? Has the world gone insane? Click on director Aaron Harvey's name and you will see that he is supposedly currently directing a movie called "Catch .44" with all sorts of well known actors. How did this happen? What the F++K is going on here? I'm dumbfounded. This must be a joke or a mistake.
Maybe the worst ever?
maxfetter3 August 2008
Well, there you have it, this might very well be the worst movie I've ever seen. From beginning to end the acting is shockingly terrible and the characters almost so annoying it's almost impossible to stand. A very low budget film with many moments seeming to copy The Blair Witch Project exactly...except just way worse. Now, if you're going to make a really bad horror flick, you might as well get hot girls right, save it a little for the guys watching. These guys didn't care about that and the girls they got were probably the ugliest I've ever seen in a movie.
Between watching a hick jerk off under his overalls, and the obnoxious main character talking about farting while getting a blowjob I realized that this movie should be just a huge embarrassment to the makers.
Between watching a hick jerk off under his overalls, and the obnoxious main character talking about farting while getting a blowjob I realized that this movie should be just a huge embarrassment to the makers.
Weaponized boredom
groverfield19847 June 2011
I believe that this movie started out as a dare for the director to make a horrible movie. I'm not going to say that it's the worst one out there, I'm thankful of the omission of thirty minutes screen-time's driving at the start of the film. Considering the second half of the film only contains one word of dialog repeated ad infinitum, the point is balanced out.
It's not all bad, the plot is coherent! Mind you, any points it would gain for that are reduced fourfold for the plot also being simple and meteorically boring. We're talking a plot that can be verbosely, accurately, and lengthily described in under ten words. The boring factor on this movie could be considered radioactive. After re-watching this movie for this review, I hung out at the apartment complex's barbecue for awhile, everyone who was in their apartment during the time I watched this suffered from high levels of boredom as well.
I'd almost give this movie two stars for half of the actors not being incredibly bad, and nails-to-chalkboard annoying, if not for the other half of the cast filling that role to the T. My only theory of this movie not being conceptually designed to suck would be that the director wanted us to feel relief when the characters die, but the relief factor doesn't exist either, instead we're left with disgust at the movie.
I'll finish this review now because I've probably racked up a longer word count for this review than the script had in its entirety.
It's not all bad, the plot is coherent! Mind you, any points it would gain for that are reduced fourfold for the plot also being simple and meteorically boring. We're talking a plot that can be verbosely, accurately, and lengthily described in under ten words. The boring factor on this movie could be considered radioactive. After re-watching this movie for this review, I hung out at the apartment complex's barbecue for awhile, everyone who was in their apartment during the time I watched this suffered from high levels of boredom as well.
I'd almost give this movie two stars for half of the actors not being incredibly bad, and nails-to-chalkboard annoying, if not for the other half of the cast filling that role to the T. My only theory of this movie not being conceptually designed to suck would be that the director wanted us to feel relief when the characters die, but the relief factor doesn't exist either, instead we're left with disgust at the movie.
I'll finish this review now because I've probably racked up a longer word count for this review than the script had in its entirety.
Low Budget But Good
BeachOBX2217 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Listen all you people who are bagging on this movie OBVIOUSLY didn't realize it was a VERY low budget Movie filmed in North Carolina OKAY?
Second off You calling those girls fat and ugly in this movie is not very nice everyone is so freaking judge mental and your SO stuck in this
Hollywood
freaking life where you THINK everyone is perfect.... I don't see any of you in movies?
Third off the movie was good for a low budget film.... Id watch it again. Good Work and Jamie which is Matilda Saliasi acting was good girl Keep It Up!
Bottom line it was low budget that means no air brushing, no amazing make up for the murder scenes and no really good props.
The movie was still a decent movie and like I said I enjoyed it and so did EVERYONE else I watched it with
I give credit to ALL the actors and actress' and people who helped make this film...
Let people keep running their mouths
I 100% support this low budget horror film
Good acting was all it needed and for NO script it was pretty damn good....
XoXo
Second off You calling those girls fat and ugly in this movie is not very nice everyone is so freaking judge mental and your SO stuck in this
Hollywood
freaking life where you THINK everyone is perfect.... I don't see any of you in movies?
Third off the movie was good for a low budget film.... Id watch it again. Good Work and Jamie which is Matilda Saliasi acting was good girl Keep It Up!
Bottom line it was low budget that means no air brushing, no amazing make up for the murder scenes and no really good props.
The movie was still a decent movie and like I said I enjoyed it and so did EVERYONE else I watched it with
I give credit to ALL the actors and actress' and people who helped make this film...
Let people keep running their mouths
I 100% support this low budget horror film
Good acting was all it needed and for NO script it was pretty damn good....
XoXo
Beware rankings by amateurs
eken7817 October 2014
I've watched a couple thousand horror/sci-fi movies over the years, so I have to laugh when I read reviews like many that are posted here......"worst movie ever" they say, but this is miles from that. I can GUARANTEE that these people bashing "Evil Woods" have NEVER seen "Alien 3000", "Carnivore" or the staggering "Night Train To Terror", which would leave rug burns on their chins, from their jaws dropping so hard to the floor! "Evil Woods" will not ever make it into the AFI 100, but it was well shot, well edited, had no continuity problems, had good sound recording (no hiss, or dogs barking or airplanes overhead), and BEST of all, these seemed like genuine teens....not hard-bodied, silicone-loaded supermodels, like most other cheap horror films. And if the lead guy seemed 'over the top' with his constant mouthing-off and sunglasses, I have to admit to you, that he WAS identical to my college roommate in my Freshman year.....I'm not kidding. There really are people like that out there. So take it easy, movie-bashers....a chili pepper is the hottest thing you've ever eaten, UNTIL you chomp on a habanero pepper. So get over it! Go watch "Godmonster of Indian Flats" and THEN tell me if Evil Woods is the "worst movie ever".....and to any cast or film-makers who read this.....you did very good for the budget. Don't listen to them.
So Bad, It Made Me Angry
KurganNJ2 April 2011
Warning: Spoilers
As a huge fan of low to mid budget horror, I had...well, I wouldn't say high hopes, but at least thought this "film" might have potential. Holy Hell, was I wrong. This is without a doubt the single worst movie I have ever had the misfortune of wasting an evening with.
Typically, you find yourself rooting for at least one of the characters in a movie. You will not be bothered with that here. Every single one of them exceeded at their own brand of annoying, and I was actually rooting for the killer. I was really hoping Steve would die first, closely followed Shannon, the overbearing, bitchy girlfriend. Not that I advocate violence against women, but she seriously needed to be punched in the mouth. Twice. In a perfect world, Steve and Shannon would have died in each others arms. While on fire and falling into a wood chipper.
The acting was horrible. The writing was worse. The plot has been beaten to death. This movie was so bad, it actually made me angry. Do yourself a favor: Do not walk...RUN away from this piece of garbage. It makes me sad that IMDb doesn't offer any rating lower than one star.
Typically, you find yourself rooting for at least one of the characters in a movie. You will not be bothered with that here. Every single one of them exceeded at their own brand of annoying, and I was actually rooting for the killer. I was really hoping Steve would die first, closely followed Shannon, the overbearing, bitchy girlfriend. Not that I advocate violence against women, but she seriously needed to be punched in the mouth. Twice. In a perfect world, Steve and Shannon would have died in each others arms. While on fire and falling into a wood chipper.
The acting was horrible. The writing was worse. The plot has been beaten to death. This movie was so bad, it actually made me angry. Do yourself a favor: Do not walk...RUN away from this piece of garbage. It makes me sad that IMDb doesn't offer any rating lower than one star.
Awful, stupid, boring, you get the picture...
Horrorible_Horror_Films19 January 2010
If you want to learn about film-making, you should watch this awful movie, you'll see horrible film-making and learn a lot.
For example, why in the holy hell was the camera up the nose of every actor? Every scene, every shot, the camera was all up in their grills.
And, hello...makeup?! Like other reviews have mentioned - these people are ugly! UG-LY! Some standard movie make-up would have helped at least a little bit, but its so obvious whoever maxed out their credit cards and blackmailed a distributor to get this film made and released had no idea what in the hell they were doing.
There is nudity in this film, but holy hell, trust me you probably don't want to see it. Ugly girls, one who looks like a butch lesbian. Now, the one that looked like a lesbian kind of had a nice body, but once her and her friend got naked, it really wasn't all that nice too look at. And the plot/acting/etc ... ??? Uh...yea, I just am not going to try to even understand how the hell were supposed to believe people act like this.
For example, why in the holy hell was the camera up the nose of every actor? Every scene, every shot, the camera was all up in their grills.
And, hello...makeup?! Like other reviews have mentioned - these people are ugly! UG-LY! Some standard movie make-up would have helped at least a little bit, but its so obvious whoever maxed out their credit cards and blackmailed a distributor to get this film made and released had no idea what in the hell they were doing.
There is nudity in this film, but holy hell, trust me you probably don't want to see it. Ugly girls, one who looks like a butch lesbian. Now, the one that looked like a lesbian kind of had a nice body, but once her and her friend got naked, it really wasn't all that nice too look at. And the plot/acting/etc ... ??? Uh...yea, I just am not going to try to even understand how the hell were supposed to believe people act like this.
i'm a fan of horror b movies
jifeqwik13 June 2008
but this was terrible.
the acting wasn't even bad, it was horrible. the worst i've seen in a long time.
the plot was just as bad, if not worse. nothing happened that i didn't expect. more predictable than a sequel.
honestly, it's like this is the worst part of every horror movie ever made combined. i can't even think of a single redeeming quality within this movie, aside from the fact that i rented it and didn't go so far as to buy it.
movies like this are why we need a class for horror C movies, because in this case even B movie doesn't cut it.
the acting wasn't even bad, it was horrible. the worst i've seen in a long time.
the plot was just as bad, if not worse. nothing happened that i didn't expect. more predictable than a sequel.
honestly, it's like this is the worst part of every horror movie ever made combined. i can't even think of a single redeeming quality within this movie, aside from the fact that i rented it and didn't go so far as to buy it.
movies like this are why we need a class for horror C movies, because in this case even B movie doesn't cut it.
Good Lord another low budget piece of crap 'horror' flick
Archangel67-213 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Oh man I am really getting tired of every schmoe out there thinking they are going to be the next Blair Witch Project. Guys, you can't act, you can't direct, and you can't even pick a good script.
Let's count the many ways that this movie sucker worse tahn a UWE Bolle feature..and that is saying a lot.
1. John (the so called Cool guy) This guy is a walking powder keg and seems to hate everything and everyone around him. Why the hell anyone would want to hang out with him is beyond me. His vocabulary consists of profanities and not much else. This guy has a sexual innuendo for everything. He could be taking a dump and make comments like "Oh yeah you like that? Das right bitch open wide for big poppa...yeah babeeee, way to slide on out"
2. The drug dealer guy (umm I've never seen a geekier drug dealer in my life. He likes to take nature walks and he's p-whipped? C'MON!!!)
3. Shannon (drug dealer's girlfriend and supposed Hot chick of the bunch) She rates a 3/10 in the looks department, of course put her next to the other two 'women' and I use that term lightly, and she moves up to a 6/10. So what were her redeeming qualities? Uh none, she was about as much of a KJ that John.
4. John's two biatches. Unfortunately he named them quite well. A real funny scene was when they were both topless and remarking about how fat John had gotten. Talk about irony, I can only thank the director for doing far shots of their nudity. Hell if you watch the gag reel some of the crew kicked the hell out of both of them in the looks dept.
Oh man I can't even go on it was so bad. I'll tell you what, I turned off the movie with 7 minutes remaining I couldn't take it anymore.
Let's count the many ways that this movie sucker worse tahn a UWE Bolle feature..and that is saying a lot.
1. John (the so called Cool guy) This guy is a walking powder keg and seems to hate everything and everyone around him. Why the hell anyone would want to hang out with him is beyond me. His vocabulary consists of profanities and not much else. This guy has a sexual innuendo for everything. He could be taking a dump and make comments like "Oh yeah you like that? Das right bitch open wide for big poppa...yeah babeeee, way to slide on out"
2. The drug dealer guy (umm I've never seen a geekier drug dealer in my life. He likes to take nature walks and he's p-whipped? C'MON!!!)
3. Shannon (drug dealer's girlfriend and supposed Hot chick of the bunch) She rates a 3/10 in the looks department, of course put her next to the other two 'women' and I use that term lightly, and she moves up to a 6/10. So what were her redeeming qualities? Uh none, she was about as much of a KJ that John.
4. John's two biatches. Unfortunately he named them quite well. A real funny scene was when they were both topless and remarking about how fat John had gotten. Talk about irony, I can only thank the director for doing far shots of their nudity. Hell if you watch the gag reel some of the crew kicked the hell out of both of them in the looks dept.
Oh man I can't even go on it was so bad. I'll tell you what, I turned off the movie with 7 minutes remaining I couldn't take it anymore.
this dumb movie
kairingler30 April 2009
well i hate to be so harsh but this movie really is pointless,, very poorly directed, poorly acted, just everything about the movie really sucks, the special features were horrible with everyone kept flipping everyone off,, i really think me and my friends from work could have done a better job with this i really do,, what were these people high on crack when they made this amateur gibberish,, this is the worst movie that i've seen since Uwe Lommel's Black Dahlia, i don't know where they got this script i mean it's horrible,, typical bore of a plot kids get drunk,, wanna have sex,, killer gets em in a scary place, haven't we like seen this a million and 3 times now already,, hello Hollywood it's getting old , kill it already, this is a horrible movie,, do not rent it,, buy it,, or even watch it.
My Review
joemamaohio13 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I'm a fan of B-rated horror films, I love to insult them and laugh at their utter horribleness. But "The Evil Woods" takes the cake so far as THE WORST B-rated horror flick I've ever seen.
Most horror films have attractive people in it, but NONE of the actors in this film would even rate a 5 on hotornot.com, unless it's a joke. The one girl I didn't even know WAS a girl until midway through.
The main guy is so utterly annoying, I don't think he even had a script. The director probably just told him to curse up a storm, and maybe say some other words in between as well.
And the story of a 'ghost killer' in the woods, a former park ranger who was tired of cleaning up after partiers, is just retarded.
And then the end. Crappy, quickly put together ending, that doesn't leave you with any satisfaction after wasting 1 hr and 28 minutes on this film.
Most horror films have attractive people in it, but NONE of the actors in this film would even rate a 5 on hotornot.com, unless it's a joke. The one girl I didn't even know WAS a girl until midway through.
The main guy is so utterly annoying, I don't think he even had a script. The director probably just told him to curse up a storm, and maybe say some other words in between as well.
And the story of a 'ghost killer' in the woods, a former park ranger who was tired of cleaning up after partiers, is just retarded.
And then the end. Crappy, quickly put together ending, that doesn't leave you with any satisfaction after wasting 1 hr and 28 minutes on this film.
I'm sure there's worse, but I can't think of it
neimad421312 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
To know what the 'story' (and even calling it that is a stretch) is, read the comment with the heading 'The Awful Woods' it says it all. There is NOTHING redeemable about the movie. Not even the nudity is any good, and it does seem it was thrown in just to have it. I'm all for nudity in my slasher films, but there is usually a reason. The 'ledgend' we hear is nothing but Cropsey, which is the whole premise of The Burning. Then you realize that the legend you hear has nothing to do with the killer. We're told the guy in the legend kills those who harm his woods, well one of the characters likes the woods and seems to enjoy himself without being a nuisance. Thinking about it, there is one good thing about this movie, the cover is really cool but not worth what I paid for it, even if it was just $10. I should be paid for sitting through this garbage.
Nothing but characters you want to see die horribly, which you don't you see the ax fall then a shot of a person falling, in situations that were done better with less effort.
Even the ending is crap. I mean the guy comes up on the survivor and
Nothing but characters you want to see die horribly, which you don't you see the ax fall then a shot of a person falling, in situations that were done better with less effort.
Even the ending is crap. I mean the guy comes up on the survivor and
Oh my word
Oxycute200118 July 2008
I am a big movie fan.
I get through four or five a week, from romances to slasher films to Japanese cultural moveis that make me wonder if someone has injected me with crack they make so little sense.
I watch anything.
The most important thing to remember is I have watched some rubbish. And I mean bad.
Films so terrible they should stink when they come out of the box.
I have sat through them for two, three hours. Bizarre Russian films made in the Stalin era, offensive films, films with a budget of $9.99.
You get the picture right......
I lasted, according to my DVD timer, 14.33 seconds before I turned this off and quietly started weeping at just how bad it was.
I get through four or five a week, from romances to slasher films to Japanese cultural moveis that make me wonder if someone has injected me with crack they make so little sense.
I watch anything.
The most important thing to remember is I have watched some rubbish. And I mean bad.
Films so terrible they should stink when they come out of the box.
I have sat through them for two, three hours. Bizarre Russian films made in the Stalin era, offensive films, films with a budget of $9.99.
You get the picture right......
I lasted, according to my DVD timer, 14.33 seconds before I turned this off and quietly started weeping at just how bad it was.
Not bad for a homeless person
jkspringer-121 September 2008
Despite being such a terrible movie, the special effects/make up wasn't bad for a homeless person whose feet smell like the rotting corpse of a skunk. In other words, this movie sucked. "Homeless" Mike Jones is currently building a house, according to the latest rumor as perpetrated by him. His 60 year old girlfriend kicked him out of the house. Most likely due to his smelly feet and his hatred of taking a shower. I do not know how one man could possibly smell that horrible. But, "Homeless" Mike Jones has managed that. I do not know what stunk worse, this horrible movie or "Homeless" Mike Jones. Much love and respect to the other people who worked on this movie, knowing that he had to put up with that troglodyte.
A director to follow
tdeladeriere1 September 2008
It's always the worst movies they've ever seen. How many movies have they watched besides Lethal Weapon 1,2,3 and 4 ? I swear to God, they haven't watched Ax'em, Sorority Sister Slaughter or Comatose.
This wasn't so terrible, except for the fact that the killings do not start until very late in the movie. But it leaves room for some atmosphere and style by a promising director. I was rarely THAT relieved when one of the leads, an ultra-annoying misogynist, pig of a 30-year old teen got his demise first. Oh God, I so wanted him to die. Pretty much all characters in this movie deserve to die, including the whining final girl. Had I been her (very cute, by the way) boyfriend, I would have axed her myself. Slow, but interesting.
This wasn't so terrible, except for the fact that the killings do not start until very late in the movie. But it leaves room for some atmosphere and style by a promising director. I was rarely THAT relieved when one of the leads, an ultra-annoying misogynist, pig of a 30-year old teen got his demise first. Oh God, I so wanted him to die. Pretty much all characters in this movie deserve to die, including the whining final girl. Had I been her (very cute, by the way) boyfriend, I would have axed her myself. Slow, but interesting.
Terrbile!!!
evilted12519 June 2008
Watch the movie Last night, and wish i had not watched it at all it was so bad i felt like just turning it off, but once i start watching something i normally have to watch it until the end.
The acting Is terrible especially from the the actor who plays john, he is just a pain, The story also is not great your usual horror theme revenge movie involving collage teens out drinking in the woods with no cell phones or any way of contacting the outside world!!, meaning other people
all and all not worth seeing!!!.
And its Set in the woods miles form nowhere.
The acting Is terrible especially from the the actor who plays john, he is just a pain, The story also is not great your usual horror theme revenge movie involving collage teens out drinking in the woods with no cell phones or any way of contacting the outside world!!, meaning other people
all and all not worth seeing!!!.
And its Set in the woods miles form nowhere.
Five teen-agers plan to party in the woods. At their camp-site they are warned that the woods they are camping at have a history of evil.
benebene2 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
The movie starts out as many other movies of this genre do. Five teen-agers take a road-trip deep into the middle of nowhere seeking the unknown. They just want to have a good time and do not worry about the dark sides of life. However, their trip turns out to be more of an adventure than they would have wanted it to be. The region they chose for their nature adventure turns out to be protected by an evil force that is not willing to accept any kind of disturbance. At their first night, they are being warned by a friendly resident who tells them the story about the evil history of the woods. The leader of the group who seems to be careless thinks that this warning is just a joke. Is he wrong?
Dad's Camcorder and a Dream...
terrible24 December 2008
Well I've finally seen it...
I'm sure every horror fan out there has at least heard of it, and let me just tell you: "It lives up to it's hype!"
Yes, it is quite possibly the worst "Released" film that I have ever seen, but then again it was "Released"... By "Lions Gate" none the less! For this reason alone, I must give "The Evil Woods" a 3 star rating because as God is my witness, I have no idea how they did it... Cudos to director Aaron Harvey and his posse of incompetent (Would-Be) film makers on a job well executed. This eh...film should be an inspiration to all you kids out there who one day dream of becoming a film director. It is possible, and dreams do come true! Just borrow Dad's camcorder, gather your friends, head down to the local forest preserve and yell "Action!" Make sure one of your Buddies has a foul mouth, and be sure that at least two of the neighborhood girls would be willing to show their breasts and you will have yourself a MOVIE. You can use the high school visual arts department for editing purposes, and that nerdy kid down the street will make copies on DVD if you get him tickets to the "Star Wars" convention. Last but certainly not least... Make sure someone in the family knows someone at "Lions Gate Films"... Before you know it, you will be working on your "Second" feature film, hot on the heels of your first mega-hit...
Sounds funny huh? But these guys did it and I watched it... Rock on Spielberg!!!
I'm sure every horror fan out there has at least heard of it, and let me just tell you: "It lives up to it's hype!"
Yes, it is quite possibly the worst "Released" film that I have ever seen, but then again it was "Released"... By "Lions Gate" none the less! For this reason alone, I must give "The Evil Woods" a 3 star rating because as God is my witness, I have no idea how they did it... Cudos to director Aaron Harvey and his posse of incompetent (Would-Be) film makers on a job well executed. This eh...film should be an inspiration to all you kids out there who one day dream of becoming a film director. It is possible, and dreams do come true! Just borrow Dad's camcorder, gather your friends, head down to the local forest preserve and yell "Action!" Make sure one of your Buddies has a foul mouth, and be sure that at least two of the neighborhood girls would be willing to show their breasts and you will have yourself a MOVIE. You can use the high school visual arts department for editing purposes, and that nerdy kid down the street will make copies on DVD if you get him tickets to the "Star Wars" convention. Last but certainly not least... Make sure someone in the family knows someone at "Lions Gate Films"... Before you know it, you will be working on your "Second" feature film, hot on the heels of your first mega-hit...
Sounds funny huh? But these guys did it and I watched it... Rock on Spielberg!!!
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