Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Corey's Been Dead for an Hour (2006)

Jon Cryer: Alan Harper

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : No matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops fall on your pants.

• Charlie Harper : [showing Alan the secret money stash]  You sure?

  Alan Harper : Oh! Where did you find that? I mean, what is that?

  Charlie Harper : About $5,000 in small bills.

  Alan Harper : Wow! Wow, that much!

  Charlie Harper : A little less, since I paid for the pizza. And tipped the guy a fifty.

  Alan Harper : You gave him a $50 tip?

  Charlie Harper : Yep. Now I'm gonna go light my cigar with a hundred.