South Park (TV Series)

Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus (1998)

Matt Stone: Terrance, Ugly Bob, Saddam Hussein, Jury Forewoman

Quotes 

• Phillip : After all Terrance. A friend in need is a friend with kraft dinner.

• Terrance : Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip.

  Phillip : Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.

  [Silence] 

  Terrance : But we're not gay, Phillip.

  Phillip : We're not?

• Terrance : Oh, Celine Dion, what have you done? I was going to make us a family again, but now you've slept with Ugly Bob.

  Celine Dion : What do you mean? Why are you calling him Ugly Bob?

  Phillip : Because that's his name you stupid bitch.

  Celine Dion : You told me your name was Handsome Bob.

  Terrance : Look at him Celine Dion.

  [Terrance removes the bag from Bob's head and Celine screams] 

  Phillip : Behold, his horrible face.

  Celine Dion : Oh my God, he's heinously ugly, and I am pregnant with his child.

  Terrance : What? Noooooo.

  Celine Dion : I'm going to have a freak-baby.

  Phillip : Oh, the humanity.

• [Scott is motioning peculiarly at Terrance and Phillip] 

  Phillip : What are you doing Scott?

  Scott : I'm wishing cancer upon you.

  Phillip : Cancer?

  Scott : That's right, I'm trying to give you cancer with my mind.

  Terrance : Ah, stop that.

  [Terrance hides behind Phillip] 

  Phillip : Hey, don't give me cancer.

• Scott : Who is this?

  Saddam Hussein : Lets just say that I'm someone who can help you if you help me. Just call me your old pal Saddam Hussein.

  Scott : Saddam Hussein? The Iraqi dictator?

  Saddam Hussein : Hey relax guy, I'm just your average Joe. Take a rest.

  Scott : What do you want?

  Saddam Hussein : You want Terrance and Phillip *out* of Canada, I want you to bring my friends and me *into* Canada. That sounds like a fair trade, doesn't it? Super. Lets get started.

  Scott : I'm not sure I should trust you.

  Saddam Hussein : Hey, relax guy. Trust me.

  [Ominous chord] 

• Phillip : Look at their silly American heads.

  Terrance : They look like groundhogs.

• Saddam Hussein : You're a journalist, right?

  Scott : Yes, I'm a television critic for magazines.

  Saddam Hussein : I understand that you hate Terrance and Phillip.

  Scott : Yes, yes I do. They think that farts are a sophisticated form of comedy, but they're not.

• Terrance : If I die Philip, bury me in a box with a side of kraft dinner.

  Phillip : Same here Terrance.

• Phillip : Oh, hello Scott. No hard feelings, right old pal?

  Scott : There are hard feelings, this isn't over. I'm going to see to it that you both pay for what you've done. And do you know why?

  Phillip : 'Cause you're a dick?

  Scott : No, because I hate you. You think farting is soo funny, well it isn't. Fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy, and if I...

  [Terrance farts] 

• Scott : Hey, you were supposed to kill Terence and Philip and then leave, not try to take over Canada. That was our deal!

  Saddam Hussein : [quoting Darth Vader]  I changed my mind. Pray I don't change it any further.

  Scott : [quoting Lando Calrissian]  This deal is getting worse all the time!