The Simpsons (TV Series)
Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (1997)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa, Barney, Krusty, Sideshow Mel
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : Well, there's no easy way to say it, kids. God hates us.
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Bart Simpson : I accidentally burned up the tree. And the presents. I'm really sorry.
Lisa Simpson : Why, you little...!
[strangles Bart]
Homer Simpson : Lisa, no!
[separates Lisa from Bart]
Homer Simpson : Your hands are too weak!
[takes over choking Bart]
Lisa Simpson : [as the entire family fights] I'm gonna kill him!
Homer Simpson : No, I'm killing him first! You wait your turn!
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Marge Simpson : Homer, you won't believe what has happened. It's a miracle!
Homer Simpson : Oh Marge. I don't want to hear any more about that silver polish.
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Kent Brockman : Folks, any words for the Christmas thief, *if* he's watching?
Homer Simpson : Eh... yes... Kent. Uh hello, jerk. We may never find you and we should probably all.. stop looking. But one thing's for sure... you do exist.
Kent Brockman : [turns to camera] Strong words. Strong, bewildering words!
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[first lines]
Homer Simpson : [hitting dashboard with his fist] D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Stupid heater! Don't make me come in there!
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[Homer and his Simpson family enters Krusty Burger, but only to see a massive line of Springfielders]
Homer Simpson : [as two customers starts to stare at the family] Oh, no. Look at the line.
Moe Szyslak : [from the near head of the first line; starts staring while pointing] Oh, there they are!
Chief Wiggum : [as more Springfielders start staring at the family, Wiggum is at the near head of the third line] Ahh, it's the Swindlers.
Principal Skinner : [exiting the restaurant from the head of the first line] The Simpsons.
Moe Szyslak : [exiting] Ahh, them stinking liers.
Ned Flanders : [exiting from the bottom of the second line] Well, there goes Christmas dinner.
Edna Krabappel : [exiting from out of nowhere in the line; chuckles] Ha!
Homer Simpson : [the lines are now empty; sigh as the family approaches the middle Cashier] Aw-www. Head of the line. A family could get used to being shunned. Huh, huh?
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[Channel 6 News Report; As Homer, Barney & Moe views on TV at Moe's]
Kent Brockman : [Outside the Simpson's house] "Dateline", Kent Brockman. I'm here at the scene of the Christmas burglary, where a creature 'was' staring last night and what he was 'stirring' was, up, trouble.
Kent Brockman : [Interviewing Marge, holding Maggie, aside from Bart & Lisa] Is your husband or lover here, Mam?
Marge Simpson : No. My husband is... at church.
Homer Simpson : [at Moe's] Aww. That's my girl. I love you, Marjorie.
Moe Szyslak : Yeah. She's quite a gal.
Homer Simpson : You, shut up!
Kent Brockman : So, when you realized Christmas was ruined... how did you feel?
Marge Simpson : How do you think I felt?
Kent Brockman : [to Marge] Absolutely devastated.
Kent Brockman : [to audience] "Absolutely devastated", the words of a heartbroken mother.
Kent Brockman : [as he very briefly pats Bart's forehead at one point] There will be no fire truck for little Bart; No sweater for little Lisa; No Cajun sausage for little Homer.
Homer Simpson : [still at Moe's; moans] O-oooo-oooo-oh.
Kent Brockman : [to audience] So, while you're home today, eating your sweet, sweet holiday turkey... I hope you'll all choke, just a little bit.
