M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Radar's Report (1973)
Jamie Farr: Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger
Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Corporal Klinger, this is Major Freedman, divisional psychiatrist.
Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Major sir!
[curtsies wearing a frilly pink dress]
Dr. Sidney Freedman : You got me up here to ask me about him? About that?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Yeah well, you see, it really wasn't my idea.
Dr. Sidney Freedman : All the way from Seoul to ask me what? Whether he needs a girdle under that? Whether his seams are straight?... OK, OK. It's all part of the war, I guess.
[picks up a clipboard and looks at Klinger]
Dr. Sidney Freedman : I have a few questions to ask you. Sit down, soldier.
Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Yes sir!
[runs over to the chair. Freedman takes his time filling out the first part of his report]
Dr. Sidney Freedman : Now, what's your name, honey?
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Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : [Sitting under a hair dryer. Frank Burns enters and bites Klinger on the neck] What are you doing?
Maj. Frank Burns : [Flustered] I was a...
Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : [Agitated] Can't a guy have a wash and set without someone biting him on the neck?
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : [Enters tent] Biting who?
Maj. Frank Burns : [to Margaret] I was biting you.
Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : No you weren't. You were biting me.
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : Klinger, what are you doing in here?
Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Just borrowing a little of your shampoo, Major. It's wartime. We all gotta help each other.
Maj. Frank Burns : [Incensed] No we dont! You get out of here, you pervert!
Cpl./Sgt. Maxwell Q. Klinger : [Accusing] Pervert? Who bit who, Major?
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : [to Klinger, pointing at the door] OUT!