M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Bananas, Crackers and Nuts (1972)

Larry Linville: Maj. Frank Burns

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maj. Frank Burns : [Hawkeye is elaborately eating while in surgical garb]  All right, what's all that funny business there?

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : There's nothing funny here to me, Frank. I happen to be very serious about this *delicious* piece of liver.

  Maj. Frank Burns : Liver? Where'd you get liver? They're serving hamburger.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : This is mine and you can't have any.

  Maj. Frank Burns : Okay, okay. But where did you get it?

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : From that North Korean.

  Maj. Frank Burns : What North Korean?

  [beat] 

  Maj. Frank Burns : You mean the one that...

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : The one that croaked!

  [Frank moves forward and moves the plate slightly to get a better look] 

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [outraged]  You touched my plate! You're not sterile! You've ruined my liver! Ruined it! And we're all out of North Koreans!

  [Trapper moves forward and slaps Hawkeye across the face] 

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I don't think I needed that.

  Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre : Radar, take him back to the Swamp and give him the *blue* pills.

  Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Yes, sir.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [to Frank]  Flithy liver thief!