Witches of the Caribbean (2005 Video) User Reviews

witchcraft with the power to induce sleep; film-making that makes you want to claw out your eyes

[FieCrier · 2/10 · 22 September 2005]

Some troubled youths stay on a Caribbean island with a counselor, and they all have dreams about a witch who had been burnt to death there years earlier. One of them is a witch, though for some reason people insist on saying that she "says" she's a witch or "believes" she's a witch, which is silly.

There's little to recommend this at all. It's terribly dull. Endless conversations that serve no purpose. Scenes in which there's a montage of scenes which came earlier, which serve no purpose in being repeated except to pad out the running time. The guys take their shirts off more than once. The ladies don't. A bad movie like this needs gratuitous nudity; that doesn't make the movie better particularly, it just makes it a bad movie with nudity, which is generally preferable to a bad movie without it.

There are some apparent deaths in which hearts are grabbed out of the chest. Somehow, this creates huge spurts of blood that go all over the face of the now heartless person. Somehow, these people are able to scream well after their hearts are ripped out. I suppose that's the power of witchcraft.

Some of the powers of witchcraft, incidentally, are depicted by the use of green light. Very cheesy. It either shoots out of objects hitting people, or makes eyes glow or whatnot.

Supposedly this was shot on the Turks and Caicos Islands, a UK territory that had been part of their Jamaican colony. However, the locations are wasted so much they might as well have shot it on the California coast and pretended it was the Caribbean.

Witchcraft has never been so boring

[The_Void · 3/10 · 13 July 2005]

Every now and then, I see a film advertised in the TV guide that I'll see for no other reason than the title sounds interesting. Believe it or not, I thought that 'Witches of the Caribbean' sounded interesting. I'm a fan of witch related films, as they often make for good horror and the Caribbean setting was leading me to believe that this might offer something in the way of originality. Any hopes I had for the movie were quickly dashed, however, when I found out that the film was directed by David DeCoteau; a man that has made a whole host of straight-to-video rubbish, including the awesomely bad 'Wolves of Wall Street'. Really, though, all I wanted from this film was some decent magic done by some hot Goth girls in a nice setting. It's safe to say, however, that I didn't even get that. What I did get is a severely under imaginative movie with a cast that is about as impressive as the film's setting - which looks more like a UK holiday resort on a bad day than the Caribbean.

The plot stinks of "cant be bothered" and follows the dull and overly familiar idea of a witch being burnt at the stake, only to be reincarnated centuries later. Not that there's a big problem with this sort of plot; several films, such as Mario Bava's Black Sunday and Roger Corman's The Haunted Palace have took that theme and made it work; but both of those movies had something about them, whereas this one clearly does not. The cast of actors doesn't help the film in it's bid to be successful, as none of them stand out enough to make any kind of lasting impression. The only impression made on any level is just that the actors are irritating; the lead witch, Nicole Marie Monica, being the foremost irritating member of the cast. The special effects are just as bad as the rest of the film, and once again feel like whoever was in charge had something more important on their mind. The awful ending tops off what is a bad movie on the whole and I can tell that if you ever see this film in your TV guide and think it might be worth a watch...think again.

Bad.....just really really bad...

[crushmyheartplease · 3/10 · 12 August 2006]

Being wiccan myself I somewhat look forward to good witch movies and to say the least this was pure crap. If I'd known this was a weak independent movie with almost no budget I would have passed on it. As seeing as the title caught my attention I decided to give it a try.

The acting was horrible and you can almost smell the director attempt to pull off the "hot Gothic witch" vibe from The Craft during the beach walk scene that ended up ( like the last reviewer said) a 5 min music video of them walking across the beach. Not to mention the lead witch was breath-taking UGLY! I have so many bad things to say about this movie, and the ending didn't make a lick of sense. All I have to say, if you are looking for a good horror flick this isn't it. Don't watch it on TV, don't even rent it from netflick ( like I did), its is just really bad.

Truly terrible... don't ever watch it twice.

[luxdeluks · 1/10 · 10 February 2006]

This one sucks on so many levels it's hard to describe. The story surrounds a bunch of teenagers having group therapy on a Caribbean island. They all have the same dream of a witch being burned alive by some guys in hoods. Now why did I even give it 1 goblin head? There are three reasons.

First the main guy from the dream. I haven't seen such a stupid expression for a long time. Then the first killing. This scene is remarkably stupid and in my opinion the only interesting scene in the movie. With sounds of heartbeat in the background we see a guy in underwear walking around dark places for a few minutes and then getting his heart pulled out. You can even see blood coming from other directions. Great stuff. Finally the last factor. A monumental movie montage of flashbacks featuring scenes from the whole movie up to that point and a group of badly dressed youngsters walking on the beach accompanied by very disgusting rave-pop-techno music. It lasts 2 minutes. Astounding. I think the dream flashbacks appear at least 100 times during the film, but this scene tops it off. If you're in need of completely useless flashbacks go see this movie. I was amazed.

After watching it the second time with a can in case I get an urge to vomit, a deep realization of how bad were the story and ending came to mind. "Your love is pure, you can save Angela," says the female doctor to the good guy. You can not imagine the tone of her voice saying that line. Shocking. Just like when at the ending we see Angela getting green eyes. Hope they make a sequel.

I really tried to find this entertaining but nope it just plain blows some major gas. The killings are notoriously forgettable with blood spurting all over the victim without known reason. I know we all love to see good amounts of blood in movies but believe me it's hardly satisfying here. Just remembered one good scene when Angela is drinking Tequila. Oh the face, oh my god.

The effects are what's to be expected in cheap video production so I won't venture there. Music? Where's the vomit can... Hmmm what about the therapy sessions? I actually liked their stupidity. The dialogues are a league of their own especially during the therapy. Cutter is definitely the best character there. A steroid mass without a brain. Got my hopes high for nothing when I thought there would be more dialogue with him. Damn.

I have no more energy to write about this piece of garbage any more. It's bad but not fun. Don't watch this unless for some masochistic reason like I did. 2 times people. Maybe I should go for some Caribbean therapy.

Originally written for http://www.bad-good.org

Why?Why?Why???

[petter-21 · 1/10 · 1 January 2006]

Total utter CRAP! If this was only a porno, it might have been a little interesting to watch. First of all a movie with a title like this should deliver, which it does not. It's hard to feel slightly passionate about this project, for calling it a movie would be an overstatement. This is too stupid and dumb, how is it possible to make something this bad!?!

The acting is flat and not very convincing. Combine this with a story so terrible, that it must have been written by someone on some kind of wonder drug, with awful directing, you get this lovely soup of rubbish and crap. After 40 minutes of watching the movie, oh the horror, I found out that there were 40 minutes left, when will this end? And what is up with the misplaced dance music and totally unnecessary flashback montage? I'm having a really hard time understanding this movie. I'll sue, cause this is America, and in America, if something sucks, you're supposed to be able to get your money back!

why oh why

Another masterpiece from DeCoteau, not.

[poolandrews · 3/10 · 18 February 2006]

Witches of the Caribbean starts late one night on a picturesque Carribbean island where a young guy named Dino (Owen Steuart) hears someone calling him, he wanders around trying to find out who but a mysterious cloaked figure rips his heart out... Professor Avebury (Joanna Cassidy) runs a program for troubled teens & has decided to hold sessions on a Caribbean island, perk of the job I suppose. Avebury's last guest has just arrived, Angela (Nicole Cavazos) who has been suffering from a recurring dream of a witch being burned alive 100's of years ago. Angela is introduced to everyone, Bethany (Nicole Marie Monica), Clara (Kelli Giddish), Enid (Nina Tapinin), Cutter (Micael King) & Jerry (Kyle Jordon). Bethany is a self proclaimed witch & befriends Angela, she influences her & reveals to Angela that they share the same dream. As the dream becomes more & more vivid Angela changes, Bethany twists the facts & convinces her that only she can help her. But what is Bethany's motivation, how come she appears to have magical powers & what sinister plan does she have in store for the vulnerable Angela?

Directed by David DeCoteau I thought Witches of the Caribbean was a poor attempt at a horror film. The script by Janna K. Arnold is simplistic, unoriginal & doesn't really interest. At points the film is OK & it moves along at a fair pace while at other's it becomes mind numbingly tedious to sit through. The story itself about a reincarnated witch isn't anything particularly new & Witches of the Caribbean does nothing to distinguish itself apart from the location but even then that was probably chosen so the filmmakers could have a nice holiday in the Caribbean for a few days, it's nice work if you can get it! The cast is made up entirely of teens most of whom annoy & the climactic showdown at the end is pathetically staged & I'm pretty sure I could have done a better job, if that wasn't bad enough DeCoteau then has the nerve to make us watch one of those predictable throwaway sequel driven twist endings. Overall there is very little by which I can recommend Witches of the Caribbean as there are so many more better horror films out there.

Director DeCoteau has over 50 low budget sex/horror films to his 'credit', he usually hides under a pseudonym (in some case under a woman's name) so for him to put his real name to this I shudder to think of the quality, or lack of, of the other films he's made. There is no excitement, atmosphere or scares but I have to give him some credit for assembling a fine looking cast of young ladies... There are one or two gory moments all revolving around people having their hearts ripped out.

Going straight to video, where it belongs I might add, Witches of the Caribbean was filmed in the Turks & Caicos Islands wherever they are & amazingly, according to the IMDb, was shot between 14th December 2003 & 19th December 2003! It took five days to shoot this? What took them so long? It's also interesting to note that it sat on a shelf for two years before being released in '05. As a whole it's reasonably well made considering the budget, shooting schedule etc. There is quite a catchy pop tune as part of the soundtrack which I found myself liking. Again, a mention for the ladies whom are all very easy on the eyes especially when they get the black goth look going.

Witches of the Caribbean is watchable at best & that's being generous. At least it doesn't last for very long & isn't as bad as some low budget straight to video crap that I've sat through lately. You could do worse, but not much, but you could do better, a lot better.

The usual DeCoteau tripe

[Bletch-UK · 1/10 · 9 July 2005]

The Bad News. The scene at the beginning showing a hunk in boxer briefs climbing out of a swimming pool and wondering around for 10 minutes (investigating sounds etc) is the only 'DeCoteau moment' you ladies, or guys get in this bore-a-thon.

The Good News. At least the hunk was at the start! The movie's an absolute chore to sit through. I'll skip the plot, see it regurgitated in all the other posts.

Apart from being robbed of any decent 'money' shots (ala Voodoo Academy) DeCoteau makes us sit through several flashbacks to the opening witch hunt scene which are so irritating cut you'll be begging for that epileptic seizure.

You want gore? Too bad. A couple of hearts ripped from fully clothed victims is all you get - and I loved the blood being sprayed on the victims faces - just like the kills in 'Talisman'.

You want more flashbacks? How about Cheesy pop music accompanied by flashbacks to events earlier on in the film.

The only surprise I got from this movie was the role reversal. Usually in DeCoteau's films it's a guy becoming involved in a pact. Here it's a girl.

I Give it 0ne outta ten. Max

Witches

[diy_freak-1 · 5 February 2006]

I normally enjoy a movie in this genre, even if the quality lacks a little (like it usually does). But as B-movies come and go, you need to further down the alphabet to classify this one.

The script, choreography, acting look like they've been directed by a teenager, one without a lot of talent. Where to start... silly scene transitions, people walking into the viewer and out of it after they delivered their lines which makes it look like a kindergarten stage play, lame special fx and flashbacks/reminders that are disturbing if you consider the level of intelligence they must have been aimed at. But it's not quite bad enough to be funny either.

The term 'spoilers' does not apply for this movie: you should avoid it like the plague.

Worst DeCoteau movie EVER!

[CarlB1961 · 1/10 · 18 October 2005]

David DeCoteau has a reputation for making terrible movies, but this takes the cake for pure wretchedness.

A teenage girl (who looks about 26) is sent to a tropical island resort for troubled youths following the tragic death of her mother. There she starts having reoccurring dreams about a woman accused of being a witch and sentenced to burn at the stake in the 16th century. Soon after she meets another troubled "teenage" girl who shares the same dream. It was at this point that I lost what little track I had of the plot, and the movie lost what marginal sense it possessed. I think the girl is actually supposed to be the reincarnation of the witch who was burned to death, and the other kids on the island are in some kind of Satanic cult who want to lure her in and sacrifice her for some reason or other. Or something.

This movie has all of DeCoteau's trademark elements: homo-eroticism, bad acting, shallow characters, pointless montages, gratuitously repeated scenes from earlier in the movie, nearly nonexistent plot, etc, etc, etc.

All the characters were unsympathetic, and is some cases downright obnoxious, cardboard stereotypes: the "jock", the "sensitive guy", the "goth chick", the "country girl", the "hippie girl".

This movie has no merit and no redeeming qualities for humanity whatsoever.

I feel cheated out of the $3.00 I spent to rent it, and the 90 minutes of my life I wasted in watching it! Avoid at all risks!

crap, crap, crap

[pascalsimons · 1/10 · 14 March 2006]

'witchcraft with the power to induce sleep; film-making that makes you want to claw out your eyes'. Just wanted to quote that remark. This movie is a true horror. In this case, that's not a compliment. Horrible special effects and talentless actresses/actors. Every horror movie has its innocent victims. In this case, the innocent victims aren't on screen. They are the ones watching this crap(a.k.a 'the innocent viewer'). It's almost like a cheap porn movie, with all the good parts cut out. So, here's what I'm trying to say. Don't expect anything from this piece of crap, don't waste any money on it. You should only go and watch it in a drugged sort of state or if you're in a particularly humorous mood.

Nicole Cavazos is a babe!

[gridoon2024 · 5/10 · 12 May 2008]

OK, this film probably deserves a 3 out of 10, but I gave it two extra points for Nicole Cavazos, who is a genuine dark-haired beauty with a great smile and figure. The locations are also pleasant. And the first half of the movie holds some promise, as you don't know exactly what is happening or where the evil comes from. Unfortunately, it all becomes a muddle by the end, with reincarnated characters that were bad in their past life turning good ("I will destroy you now like I destroyed you then"; ehm, but you didn't destroy her then, you were her accomplice!) and a silly "it was just a bad dream"-type ending. Another indication of the poorness of the script is the fact that the movie runs about 80 minutes, 5 of which are taken by the closing credits, and another 10 of which are just re-played scenes!

As I said, try it for Nicole only.

Cheapie low budget equivalent of "The Craft"

[jordondave-28085 · 1/10 · 18 August 2023]

(2004) Witches Of The Caribbean HORROR

Straight-to-rental cheap horror flick which is basically a very poor carbon copy of the much bigger budgeted of "The Craft" including the main character, who appears to be a look-a-like of Neve Campbell! Movie centers on a group of teenagers sent to the Caribbean because they all have similar dreams of a past life incident involving witch burning and cults and the psychologist whose making attempts to overcome it! It is neither scary nor is it original with some of the worst special effects and acting imaginable! One can get get better entertainment from TV. 1/2 star.