Snitch'd (Video 2003) Poster

(2003 Video)

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1/10
It doesn't get much worse than this, folks.
larrynogo15 September 2003
The video quality is awful. The sound quality is pathetic. The acting is horrific. The dialog is painful. The lighting is dismal. The editing is laughable. I could go on, but it would be pointless. Snitch'd is a third rate amateur video being passed off as a feature film. This one is best left to collect dust in the video store bargain bin.
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1/10
Why would you do this to me, Mr. Cahill ?!
SleepKills28 January 2006
I don't really know where to start. The acting in this movie was really terrible, I can't remember seeing so many 'actors' in one film that weren't able to act. Not only the acting was bad, the characters were incredibly stupid as well.

Then there's the action. I believe that even children know that when someone gets shot, there's blood involved. But when someone gets shot in Snitch'd for ten (!!) times, there's no blood at all. Well, I guess that's just me.

To make a long story short (because believe me, I can go on for hours about this film), this is without a doubt the worst film I ever saw. This film should be number 1 in the bottom 100 without a doubt.
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1/10
In short, very poor acting.
sherirosy25 August 2003
I bought this movie and after I watched it I decided that I did not care for it. The acting was BAD. Was the principal a robot? He had no personality and his facial expression didn't change through the whole movie. At times the voices didn't match up. People talking and their lips didn't even move.
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1/10
Find a high school play instead
mikewatts9928 April 2005
I watched this....let me rephrase...suffered through this because I'm a fan of Eva's. I don't think this is a flick she'll put on the back of her head shot photos. I like gangsta flix but this wasn't even close. The budget couldn't have been more than a few hundred dollars, and that money was probably spent on the caterer.

The premise was interesting, but the first victim died before you get the chance to care about her or not.

I won't bother saying who did what and how, because it isn't worth the effort. I'm only glad that because of my monthly rental plan at the local video store that I didn't have to actually pay for this garbage.

OH!! Before you flame on me, I love movies, I thought a lotta flix were good that some of you have jammed, so for me to jam this tells you all you need to know.
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1/10
Mr. Cahill please stop
tedthumb27 September 2008
All I can say after watching Snitch'd is please stop Mr. Cahill. It is painfully clear you have no understanding of what you make movies about. If you insist on making movies about gangsters I urge you to do research. It's comical to watch movies with absurd gangbangers that even sound more absurd when they speak.

I laughed at the part when Mr. Cahill goes to a school with only 3 students and proceeds to kick their butts in kung fu fashion. This movie was tough as an after school special. Who had the idea to have hats worn that say where a particular gangbanger was from?. I suspect real gangbangers do not wear hats claiming there gang. That would be stupid considering new laws that add length to a prison term if a person is gang related.

Snitch'd is the WORST gangbanger movie ever made.
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1/10
I need 3 hands for 3 facepalms!!
sampsonart18 February 2019
I rented this movie back when blockbuster was king and I rented it because of the picture on the box. I thought to myself "hmmm it's at blockbuster and it looks cool like a drug cartel type thriller.. omg was I wrong. First off I thought someone switched the movie for a homemade class project. Not only is it horrible, it looks as if it was filmed on a flip phone lol! Acting horrible, plot and story horrible!! Everything was horrible. I actually got my money back at BB and told them that this should be considered a scam job..
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1/10
Absolutely Terrible
paul250515 March 2005
Maybe this isn't fair, because I only made it about halfway through the movie. One of the few movies I have actually not been able to watch due to lameness.

The acting is terrible, the camera work is terrible, the plot is ridiculous and the whole movie is just unrealistic and cheesy. For example - during a coke deal, the coke is just kept loose in a briefcase - I'm no expert, but I think people generally put it in a bag.

They use the same stupid sound effect whenever a punch is thrown (it's that over the top 'crunching' sound" and they use toy guns with dubbed in sound effects.

Worst movie ever.
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1/10
Was it meant to be funny?
buggsuperstar10 April 2005
I bought this DVD for £1 and now i realise why. The acting was the worst I've seen in a long time. The lighting and sound are shoddy at best. The plot makes little sense even when sober (WARNING: I don't advise watching this film when sober.) This film feels like you're watching the home movie of someone who doesn't get out much. It really is a shame that all the very little money spent on this project went to such a waste, I look forward to seeing if any of those envoled still have a career, other than eva longoria who is the only "star" of this film that was apparently not hit with the bad acting stick. I'm sorry that none of this criticism seems constructive but I will say one thing to James Cahill, don't try it again. In the words of squirlyem "Its severely lacking in the good department".
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1/10
worst film in the history of humanity
dushan0416 March 2007
If you want to see a retarded homosexual Karate expert beat up a bunch of try hard wannabe Mexican gangsters repeatedly for an hr, then this is the film for you. if not then choose another DVD from the 20c bin which is the only place this film belongs. the acting was so horrible that i had to force myself to watch it to the end. The cover makes it look so cool but its just another cheap, b grade gangster film along the lines of 2 g's and a key, bloody streetz and menace. I would not buy or rent this film unless you are planing to get stoned and plot , editing and acting really don't matter to you. it is truly the worst film in the history of humanity!!!
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5/10
Not too bad.
dj-mike17 August 2003
Well what can i say? This is a VERY low budget movie but its not all that bad if you like gangster flicks. I found it quite good. Bit dull in some parts but thats what you get in most movies. The acting is so poor its good all in all this is one for the gangster lovers to see.

If you want a laugh see it.

6/10
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10/10
The funniest film ever
rossarsdump29 October 2005
This film would usually classify as the worst movie production ever. Ever. But in my opinion it is possibly the funniest. The horrifying direction and screenplay makes this film priceless. I bought the movie whilst sifting through the bargain DVD's at my local pound shop. Me and some friends then watched it, admittedly whilst rather drunk. It soon occurred that this wasn't any normal film. Instead a priceless relic of what will probably be James Cahill's last film. At first we were confused and were screaming for the DVD player to be turned off but thankfully in our abnormal state no-one could be bothered. Instead we watched the film right through. At the end we soon realised we had found any wasters dream, something that you can acceptably laugh at for hours, whilst laughing for all the wrong reasons. We soon showed all our other friends and they too agreed, this wasn't a work of abysmal film. This was a film that you can truly wet yourself laughing at. This was a film that anyone can enjoy. This was genius.
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1/10
SomeTruths Behind Snitch'd
royce-121 February 2007
Every once in a while , someone out of the blue looks at me a little sideways and asks "What's with SNITCH'D" ? I know immediately they have a case of barely-hidden amusement + horror. You see, I was the cinematographer on the film.

Let me clarify some points regarding this "interesting life experience".

Originally, SNITCH'D was called ONE HARD HIT. I met James Cahill in July of 1999, a day after I wrapped TRIANGLE SQUARE, a great little 35mm feature that like so many indie features of the era never got distribution despite festival accolades...it fell eternal victim to the fine print of SAG's notorious Experimental Feature contract. But I digress...

I though I was on a roll, and when James asked me to shoot his little gangster flick in 16mm with a shooting budget of about $25,000, not wanting to break pace, I took it. After all, CLERKS, EL MARIACHI... I too believed the myth back then.

Let's just chalk it up as "film school" for many involved, myself included. SNITCH'D was shot over two weeks in August, 1999, in Aliso Viejo and Santa Ana, CA. Cahill taught Drama at a High School in the latter city ( yes, he is a Drama and English teacher...consider THAT while watching the film, or even observing the use of apostrophe in title ), hence the locations and cast.

Of note in his cast were the only known dramatic appearance of L.A.'s Channel 2 Morning News weather girl Vera Jimenez, and of greater impact, the debut of Eva Longoria, who had just arrived in Hollywood and was as eager as I to get a film under her belt. I must say her professional dedication, focus and "let's do this" attitude kept me inspired and was a foreshadow of her stardom-yet-to-come.

SNITCH'D suffered from poor optics, few lights or electricity, several boom operators du jour, and delivery of an uncorrected offline for duplication. None of that overshadows the actual content, which speaks for itself.

Anyway, by 2003, the film was sold to distributors ( at a net loss, I understand ) who inexplicably had no photos of Eva on the box ( by then she was a rising, working name ) but who did manage to obtain a clear photo of what appears to be an authentic Latino gangster to lend credibility to SNITCH'D. Since Cahill's other passion is antiquarian book dealing, it appears to confirm he believes you can, in fact, judge a book by it's cover... as so many have picked up this DVD based on it's sleeve. ----------------- One year later, Eva, now on a soap, and I met James for one day to shoot a simple short film he had concocted, SPLIT SECOND, which I think has never seen any play despite festival intent.

6 years later, I was hired to shoot another Cahill film titled JUAREZ, Mexico. I though he had worked out the process; my participation was contingent on casting, script and crew control, and the resultant film actually looked promising in dailies, for what it was... a cheap detective story surrounding the mass murders of girls in Juarez; despite claims here and elsewhere, the film has NEVER appeared in any festival or venue, although Cahill has repeatedly claimed the film has distribution and was simply awaiting release to coincide with the DVD release of two studio pictures on the same subject, VIRGIN OF JUAREZ and BORDER TOWN.
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2/10
Worlds Worst
Borats_Mum10 February 2006
WORST MOVIE EVER!!!! Can't believe I wasted 90min of my life watching this crap. The only reason I didn't turn it off was I wanted to see the Gangster dude on the cover and he wasn't even in it talk about False advertising. The people that gave this movie a ten are either Dumb,Stupid or CAST MEMBERS or friends of CAST MEMBERS.

I gave it a solid 2 because no one else did

I have to write more and I don't even want to. wasting my time talking about this rubbish. Please don't watch it and if you did then vote so this movie can go where it belongs. bottom 100 movies. i can't even tell you how bad it really is. think the worst movie ever that you've seen then times that be ten and thats this movie. It sucked!! If you just think I'm being bitter then watch it I dare You!! This movie should be used to torture war criminals or Terriosts. If they Watch this even two times and they'll be spilling the beans and begging for MERCY!!
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Bad enough that you might get a few laughs
WeponX8 August 2008
I rented this movie when it was a new release thinking it may be one of those semi-thriller gangster flicks, it wasn't. It absolutely blew my mind with how terrible it was I figured it had to be a joke.

First things first, everything in this movie from the sound quality and camera work, to the acting is about an F+ if such a grade is possible. I honestly think this movie may have had a $200 budget. The action scenes are laughable at best with the corny, and absurdly out of sink audio. Some scenes don't even make sense. For example in one part, a guy shoots at these other guys, doesn't get shot back at, and yet somehow manages to be bleeding.

I won't bother to go on about this film, if you see it, it will speak for itself. Honestly, I just wasted a few more minutes of my life talking about it. However, if you don't mind a terrible film that will give you a few laughs out of its sure pathetic quality, I would recommend this one.
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1/10
great film for a wannabe bad-ass to show off talents
dombruno701 July 2007
This movie is weak ,The box-cover says East LA's toughest gang and it is really Santa Ana's , James Cahill acts like a closet queen taking down all the tough guys in the tough Chlo gang . It is fake , boring , senseless and whack , I tried to get my money back from the video store this movie was so bad . It was also on the homo-erotic tip far from what the video-box proclaims . James Cahill should act in Gay Porno .James is in every scene , he cannot act to save his life . The film features Eva Longoria who is hot but James can't even score with her !!!!!!!!! I felt at times I was watching Gay Porn and was turned - off by the whole film . James clearly want's to be with men but rather then submit to his gay desires he beats up gang members over and over and over again . His martial Arts skills are minimal at best , Some real gang members would take him and his weak skills and rip him a new one .
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10/10
gangsta!
move_on_reakshun9 April 2006
where would one start a review of the film Snitch'd? James Cahill, god rest his soul, made one of the most daring insights into the human psyche since Encino Man. his beautiful story unravels around a drug squad cop McClure, which is a name synonymous with a character from the simpsons who also happens to be an actor! said cop delves deep into the underworld that is high school drug taking, and discovers a gang war to rival that of Police Academy 1, and i mean the one where Jones is racially vilified by his new partner, but manages to come out with some of the funniest sounds you will EVER HEAR.

Cahill's grasp of effects, both visual and aural is electrifying, the slight pause between action on screen and from the speakers adds to the drama that is snitch'd, a real gritty like underground thriller. also, kudos to his brilliant use of makeup, such as the supremely convincing burn marks a gang member suffers in his showdown with an indoor barbecue! YUCK! i feel the world of film is much less from James' passing, his memory will linger on and on and on, reborn with every passing mention of his flagship production, Snitch'd. his insightful director's commentary released a coke-hit up the nose of any discerning film goer, truly appropriate with the harsh reality that is life on the streets, captured in all the beauty of a roughneck punk knocking over a rubbish bin in a brawl.

but i ask you, why did the big bosses swimming pool look so cheap? i'll tell you why, because thats life in Santa Ana baby, its not all drive bys and hastily constructed principle's offices, oh no. there are some folk who must infiltrate the soft, tattooed underbelly of street life in LA to kick their way through in moves that would not seem out of place at a School For Special Children's production of Double Dragon: The Play.

the only qualm i have with this film, is that there was never a sequel made. come on Steven Spielberg, come on George Lucas, come on guy that made revenge of the nerds 1 through 23, how hard could it be to step it up a notch and pay tribute to this great man, James Cahill.

he discovered Eva Longoria you know. oh yeah, that he did.

Jonah
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10/10
Best Movie since That one about the stars and wars... i think it was called Billy and the clone-asaurus ( an un-official prequel to snitch'd
rj_klimpel11 April 2006
OK where do i begin?... This movie changed my life! The plot was seamless. James Cahill has out done himself. Initially after a first viewing i was disappointed that i hadn't seen it on the silver screen. However this was before exploring the DVD's many features!!!! Oh my god Jakes Cahill's commentary of the film was almost as flawless as his acting. he told of industry secrets used in the film that you only get with experience.

I was so impressed by the other actors. The scene where the security guard is talking to the girl in the hallway, reminded me of some of my favorite blue (pornographic) movies. I am certainly with Gangsta when he expresses his disappointment with no sequel.

I am still blown away with each viewing of the martial arts skills involved, matched only by the sign indicating the location of the library at the school... and possibly the guy playing a retard! All in all a timeless classic and the best film to come out of Europe in years! where my Oscars at dawn!!!!!!!!!!!
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10/10
Damn, Eva Longoria is so hot! Good first film by the director of "Juarez, Mexico"
thatguy2711 January 2005
If you haven't seen Eva Longoria from the TV show "Desperate House Wives" then you are missing out. Eva is going to be one of the biggest Latina stars and you'll be seeing her in the theaters soon. This was Eva's first film and she does a fantastic job acting. She was 24 when she shot it, and looked hot then. As for this low budget film, it's pretty good for the first time director, who has another soon to be released movie "Juarez, Mexico" currently playing at many film festivals across the United States. In fact, it appears that it may have a limited theatrical release from some news. What would be nice to see is a "Snitch'2" with a higher budget.
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10/10
A film success for a low budget project
thatguy2710 January 2004
For a low budget project, the Film was a success. The story is interesting, and the actors were convincing. Eva Longoria, who now stars on the TV Show "Dragnet," is sexier than ever. The locations were ideal for the ganster plot, and the director shows his talent by taking on many roles for his project. Of course this low budget film could use better editing transitions and more special effects for the gun scenes, but the music keeps this script moving. Although this film has it's share of problems, such as continuity, I must say that I would rent the director's next movie. If your a film student, you could learn a few things from the director's commentary.
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10/10
Most hilarious comedy i've ever seen
niels_wessels8 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
wow! this is a good movie! The acting wasn't good at all, but if you look at some moments in the film, rewind, and watch it again, it is genius! The man in the begin of the film walks with his suitcase against a three. WOW!I never expected that. Then he puts the coke in a suitcase and runs away. I bet that smoking guy against that three was one of his mates who sold the drugs later. And the genius quotes: ''nice shades, i need a pair'' ''their yours.. if you think you can take them..''.. just Brilliant! And the fighting is the best i've seen in a while. Look at the second guy he takes down after he hit the head of the first guy against the table. WHAT A HIT! And in the middle of the film, one guy in a car shot one time, then 3 guys fall, he is really good at aiming. It costs a lot of money to hire these guys like him. The end was brilliant, it was so exciting that james cahill walks 5 minutes up and down the stairs and shoot jason peters after his distraction moves. Jason Peters falls down, and roll over again while he is dead! I can't say with more words how great this movie is!
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10/10
Best Movie Ever
i-r-ashley10 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
One of the most provocative films ever with excellent cinematography backed up by Mc Clarens lisp and stunning quote "do you believe in love at first site?".

A trace of expressionism was evident in this picture, further catapulting the films flawless integrity. Gabby (AKA Joey) played by Eva Longoria clearly loved the movie and role she played so much that she couldn't even be bothered giving it mention in her filmography. Lol.

the best part of the movie would have to be without a doubt, the heroic rescue by MC clure as he saved the young 'Handicapped' kid with the speech impediment.. Which i may add was acted to perfection! James Cahiil's use of sound effects is unmatched even to this day. The drug bust he performs early in the film is pain stakingly realistic. When i watched this movie for the first time i was so compelled with the intense lack of respect for the Gang Inthused brothers from the Southside gang and the CTM (Cut Throat Mafia). This was by far one of the most encapsulating crevice Cahill has committed to filming.

Personally this film holds sentimental value to me and i will be downloading it in the near future. Thats if i can find it anywhere, LOL!
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