This movie is so bad, that it's actually somewhat likable. This has everything that a bad movie should have, including horrible dialogue, laughable special effects, and women who were cast because of their cup sizes. But unlike many atrocious movies, this one didn't bore me, and I actually enjoyed a few scenes. I wouldn't go so far as to recommend it, but it does have a certain charm.
40 Reviews
Dinosaur Island: More than T&A, but not much
Platypuschow16 September 2017
With an old school fantasy artwork front cover I was drawn to Dinosaur Island even though I knew from experience this was likely to be not only a T&A film but also pretty darn bad.
Regarding the T&A there is plenty, yet somehow someway it is not only tasteful but mostly directly related to the plot.
Regarding the quality it's a mixed bag. The movie actually looks quite good, the location and costume design is solid but when the sfx come into the equation it all falls apart. I'm not saying the sfx are bad I'm saying they're awful. The dinosaurs are stop motion animation and looked at home back in the 60's so there is no excuse for a 1994 film.
Yes the film isn't supposed to be taken seriously and is essentially a comedy but those sfx are beyond bad.
Thankfully the script is okay and there are genuine laughs to be had, the whole movie reminded me of Cave Girl (1985) except Cave Girl didn't reach beyond its means and had far more of a charm.
For what it is Dinosaur Island isn't bad but as a whole it's not something I could ever confidently recommend to anyone.
The Good:
Some decent efforts at humour
Tasteful well done T&A scenes
The Bad:
SFX that were on point in the 60's
Things I Learnt From This Movie:
Trained military with automatic weapons will have no effect on a raging t-rex but a bunch of scantily clad girls with sticks will scare it off
Boobs squeezing is the no.1 fighting technique for amazons
The infamous beast of the cave is the offspring of a xenomorph and a muppet
Regarding the T&A there is plenty, yet somehow someway it is not only tasteful but mostly directly related to the plot.
Regarding the quality it's a mixed bag. The movie actually looks quite good, the location and costume design is solid but when the sfx come into the equation it all falls apart. I'm not saying the sfx are bad I'm saying they're awful. The dinosaurs are stop motion animation and looked at home back in the 60's so there is no excuse for a 1994 film.
Yes the film isn't supposed to be taken seriously and is essentially a comedy but those sfx are beyond bad.
Thankfully the script is okay and there are genuine laughs to be had, the whole movie reminded me of Cave Girl (1985) except Cave Girl didn't reach beyond its means and had far more of a charm.
For what it is Dinosaur Island isn't bad but as a whole it's not something I could ever confidently recommend to anyone.
The Good:
Some decent efforts at humour
Tasteful well done T&A scenes
The Bad:
SFX that were on point in the 60's
Things I Learnt From This Movie:
Trained military with automatic weapons will have no effect on a raging t-rex but a bunch of scantily clad girls with sticks will scare it off
Boobs squeezing is the no.1 fighting technique for amazons
The infamous beast of the cave is the offspring of a xenomorph and a muppet
I admire this movie
neil-4764 May 2011
Warning: Spoilers
The late night movie channels, home of such vast quantities (and I do mean the last two syllables of the word "quantities") of tripe, beckon. And I find Dinosaur Island, courtesy of not just Jim Wynorsky, but also Fred Olen Ray. If you recognise those names, you will know exactly the sort of film we're in for. And it ain't good.
A small group of military men crash land on a tropical-ish island. This island is inhabited by a) dinosaurs (hence the title), and b) attractive young women in fur bikinis. Conveniently, the number of young women is the same as the number of military men. A plot - I can't believe I have dignified it with the word "plot" - involves fighting the dinosaurs and having sex with the women.
Let me say at the outset that this film isn't entirely without merit. There are actually some witty lines in the script here and there, Antonia Dorian is gorgeous in (and out of) her fur bikini, and there is a fairly large scale dinosaur model/puppet/suit which features.
Less praiseworthy, but worth remarking on, are the presence of Michelle Bauer (overexposed in more ways than several, but still decorative) and Griffin Drew (including implants), and a small quantity of extremely bad stop-frame animation used to bring certain dinosaurs to, er, life.
The big trick used here, though, is forced perspective. Thus, there is no need to finance a giant egg prop - you use a normal egg near the camera and have your actors 50 yards away point in the right direction to make it look as if they are pointing at the egg near the camera. Or they run away, as if chased by a dinosaur, while a small scale dinosaur close to the camera is manipulated to look as though it is chasing them. Of course, it helps if both the close and distant items are focused the same. And it helps as if the dinosaur model doesn't look as if you just bought it from a toy shop. And it helps if your models aren't grounded in normal sized (and scaled) foliage, thus making them look like the models they are.
The cheap, tatty special effects are dreadful. The film as a whole is preposterous. And yet it has a cheesy good nature which makes it oddly appealing...
A small group of military men crash land on a tropical-ish island. This island is inhabited by a) dinosaurs (hence the title), and b) attractive young women in fur bikinis. Conveniently, the number of young women is the same as the number of military men. A plot - I can't believe I have dignified it with the word "plot" - involves fighting the dinosaurs and having sex with the women.
Let me say at the outset that this film isn't entirely without merit. There are actually some witty lines in the script here and there, Antonia Dorian is gorgeous in (and out of) her fur bikini, and there is a fairly large scale dinosaur model/puppet/suit which features.
Less praiseworthy, but worth remarking on, are the presence of Michelle Bauer (overexposed in more ways than several, but still decorative) and Griffin Drew (including implants), and a small quantity of extremely bad stop-frame animation used to bring certain dinosaurs to, er, life.
The big trick used here, though, is forced perspective. Thus, there is no need to finance a giant egg prop - you use a normal egg near the camera and have your actors 50 yards away point in the right direction to make it look as if they are pointing at the egg near the camera. Or they run away, as if chased by a dinosaur, while a small scale dinosaur close to the camera is manipulated to look as though it is chasing them. Of course, it helps if both the close and distant items are focused the same. And it helps as if the dinosaur model doesn't look as if you just bought it from a toy shop. And it helps if your models aren't grounded in normal sized (and scaled) foliage, thus making them look like the models they are.
The cheap, tatty special effects are dreadful. The film as a whole is preposterous. And yet it has a cheesy good nature which makes it oddly appealing...
Yes, one of 'those' movies.
StlBlade22 July 1999
The day after I saw this movie, I called my friend Cass in Florida and said "Cass, you have to see this movie." "It's that good?" "No, it's that bad!"
There is no better way to describe this movie. It has the audacity to say 'Dinos genetically bred and trained by' instead of 'SFX by' in the credits, and has the only drunken redneck T-Rex in history. (Of course he is, just look at that pot-belly)
I have to confess that I only rented the movie because it had Dinos and girls in leather bikinis, 2 things near and dear to my heart, but after about 20 minutes of watching, I actually put away my alcohol, turned off the computer game I was playing and restarted the movie so I could catch every last horrible, horrible detail.
For those that like 'So bad it's good' movies as I do, then this is the ultimate 'must-see' movie.
Steelblade
There is no better way to describe this movie. It has the audacity to say 'Dinos genetically bred and trained by' instead of 'SFX by' in the credits, and has the only drunken redneck T-Rex in history. (Of course he is, just look at that pot-belly)
I have to confess that I only rented the movie because it had Dinos and girls in leather bikinis, 2 things near and dear to my heart, but after about 20 minutes of watching, I actually put away my alcohol, turned off the computer game I was playing and restarted the movie so I could catch every last horrible, horrible detail.
For those that like 'So bad it's good' movies as I do, then this is the ultimate 'must-see' movie.
Steelblade
Obviously Not Taking Itself Seriously
FoxWithaCamera28 July 2002
I can't help but enjoy this movie. It's a jiggle-movie that manages to make fun of jiggle-movies. Whether or not this was intended is irrelevant. One can very plainly tell that the cast and crew are NOT taking themselves seriously on this project. The dinosaurs appear to be recycled from the Carnosaur movies, with no regard for achieving realism. The filmmakers have a great time using the oldest effects tricks in the book for this movie. Again, like a lot of movies, this one is the type that is best enjoyed by those who enjoy a good, BAD movie.
Some reviewers don't watch many movies.
innocuous28 September 2013
My friends must tire of hearing me say, "I watch the bad movies so you don't have to." I average about 600 movies a year (really)...and most of them are bad. DI wouldn't even make it into the bottom 100 movies I've seen, in spite of what some reviewers have stated. It is obviously self-mocking and completely tongue-in-cheek, intended as a bit of soft-core disposable fluff. There are absolutely no pretensions.
As far as the FX, I've seen much worse in many recent independent (and major studio) releases. Plus, the editing is coherent (even if the continuity is deliberately uneven) and you can actually hear the dialogue.
As far as the plot, it actually has one, even if it's as silly as a Carol Burnett sketch. (BTW, the "healing boobs" scene is pretty sly.) Anyway, there's a lot more pretentious junk than this to watch, so give it a try some evening when you've had a few drinks and you need something disposable.
As far as the FX, I've seen much worse in many recent independent (and major studio) releases. Plus, the editing is coherent (even if the continuity is deliberately uneven) and you can actually hear the dialogue.
As far as the plot, it actually has one, even if it's as silly as a Carol Burnett sketch. (BTW, the "healing boobs" scene is pretty sly.) Anyway, there's a lot more pretentious junk than this to watch, so give it a try some evening when you've had a few drinks and you need something disposable.
Once again Fred Olen Ray gives us what we want to see!
Joxerlives20 April 2013
Warning: Spoilers
As teenagers my friends and I went through a phase of deliberately renting the worst film we could find rather than the best. If it also had a bevvy of beautiful women in revealing costumes (or lack of them) it was definitely our first choice. After a while we began to notice that the name Fred Olen Ray appeared as the writer/director/producer on a disproportionate number of them and soon we began to actively look for him as a mark of, well, not quality so to speak but a guarantee of gorgeous babes in peril and nudity.
So, how many boxes in that quotient did 'Dinosaur Island' check? Well let's see; Beautiful women naked? Oh yeah, some absolutely gorgeous B-movie babies in leather bikinis and a lot less. They may be a primitive tribe but they've obviously mastered the art of aerobics and breast enhancement!
Frequent use of stock footage? Yep, it's amazing how many Dakotas the military use even in the 90s. Even more amazing they seem to have the ability to fly directly from Korea to the US which is quite an amazing feat of endurance.
Appalling special effects? Yep, I can't really decide which is worse, the baby T-Rex which is so blatantly a hand operated puppet or the adult T-Rex which is very obviously two men in a big rubber suit?
Dialogue which makes you wince? By golly and how! Plot which makes little or no sense? In spades!
Just for the record, the Stegasaurus is a vegetarian dinosaur so why do they kill it?
So don't go in expecting Citizen Kane but for what it is this is a fine film in the great Fred Olen Ray tradition.
So, how many boxes in that quotient did 'Dinosaur Island' check? Well let's see; Beautiful women naked? Oh yeah, some absolutely gorgeous B-movie babies in leather bikinis and a lot less. They may be a primitive tribe but they've obviously mastered the art of aerobics and breast enhancement!
Frequent use of stock footage? Yep, it's amazing how many Dakotas the military use even in the 90s. Even more amazing they seem to have the ability to fly directly from Korea to the US which is quite an amazing feat of endurance.
Appalling special effects? Yep, I can't really decide which is worse, the baby T-Rex which is so blatantly a hand operated puppet or the adult T-Rex which is very obviously two men in a big rubber suit?
Dialogue which makes you wince? By golly and how! Plot which makes little or no sense? In spades!
Just for the record, the Stegasaurus is a vegetarian dinosaur so why do they kill it?
So don't go in expecting Citizen Kane but for what it is this is a fine film in the great Fred Olen Ray tradition.
DINOSAUR ISLAND
TCurtis919230 December 2020
There are a few (surprisingly!) reasons to see "DINOSAUR ISLAND" (1994, Ray/Wynorski).
1. The dinosaurs in this were the stars of 1992's "CARNOSAUR" (Simon) and although the Deinonychus would only return in recycled clips in Wynorski's "RAPTOR" (2001), the T-Rex got regular work throughout the early 90's. I see this as a kind of spin-off
2. The titillation of hordes of very beautiful cavewomen.
3. The easygoing nature of this comedic, pastel-coloured film.
4. Apparently Joe Pesci loved it.
But if you don't care for any of that so be it.
1. The dinosaurs in this were the stars of 1992's "CARNOSAUR" (Simon) and although the Deinonychus would only return in recycled clips in Wynorski's "RAPTOR" (2001), the T-Rex got regular work throughout the early 90's. I see this as a kind of spin-off
2. The titillation of hordes of very beautiful cavewomen.
3. The easygoing nature of this comedic, pastel-coloured film.
4. Apparently Joe Pesci loved it.
But if you don't care for any of that so be it.
Like "mutiny on the bounty" with more tits, dinosaurs and without a ship
rotes_papier3 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I have seen worse films, but more of the films I have seen are much better. This movie isn't boring - in fact it is funny but not voluntarily. The movie wants to be funny, but its funny in different parts. And I agree with the comments before me: It has all a bad movie needs. Crappy FX, bad actors, stupid dialog and half naked non-actresses. The plot reminded me very much of a happier "mutiny on the bounty": Military guys strand on an island, fraternize with the people there, especially with the females, then they act against their captain, and so on... I liked the happy ending, the real "mutiny"-movies don't really have one.
A Classic of Bad Cinema
gavin694220 August 2013
An army captain is flying three misfit deserters home for a court martial when the plane has engine trouble and they must land on an uncharted island. There they find a primitive society of cave women who routinely sacrifice virgins to appease The Great One, the top dog dinosaur on the the island.
What happens when you combined the two kings of the B-movie (Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray) and have their project financed by Roger Corman? Apparently, you get a super campy dinosaur movie with an incredible T-Rex hand puppet, too much nudity, little plot, and some strange humor attached.
I have to say I enjoyed the film. I gave it a 3, but really, it should be much higher if I was rating for entertainment value. I do wish the sexual aspects were toned down, but what can you expect (especially from Wynorski)?
What happens when you combined the two kings of the B-movie (Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray) and have their project financed by Roger Corman? Apparently, you get a super campy dinosaur movie with an incredible T-Rex hand puppet, too much nudity, little plot, and some strange humor attached.
I have to say I enjoyed the film. I gave it a 3, but really, it should be much higher if I was rating for entertainment value. I do wish the sexual aspects were toned down, but what can you expect (especially from Wynorski)?
Well it said it had dinosaurs and it delivered!
Aaron137529 October 2013
This film is almost a soft core porn film. The type of film a young teen boy would love to stumble upon late at night after his parents have gone to bed. However, as an adult it is nice to see some of the girls' assets, but other than that there really is not a whole lot to it. A film like this is not trying to be serious, it is listed as a comedy, but it is not really all that funny for the most part. It does feature women in skimpy outfits and dinosaurs, so yes, a film like this would have been a great find for a teen boy back in the day before there was internet.
The story, three guys who are on their way to a court martial get lucky as they end up on an island where there are voluptuous cave women; however, there are also dinosaurs! The guys are told they must die, until they are thought to be gods who will help the cave women dispose of the great one, a super dinosaur! The lead guy escorting the three losers to their court martial seems intent on delivering the men and even works out a deal with the leader of the cave women who distrusts these men, but then he seems to side with the soldiers making one think they missed a scene or two.
The film is good for one thing and that is nudity and it delivers some really nice looking females. The comedy pretty much fails for the most part, the action is terrible and the effects are hokey. Ross Hagen plays the man intent on bringing the men back and whose change of heart comes out of nowhere. He is an actor who is a b movie king starring in a ton of films and also in films parodied on MST3K such as Sidehackers and Hellcats. The rest of the cast is not really notable, but a lot of those girls are very attractive!
The story, three guys who are on their way to a court martial get lucky as they end up on an island where there are voluptuous cave women; however, there are also dinosaurs! The guys are told they must die, until they are thought to be gods who will help the cave women dispose of the great one, a super dinosaur! The lead guy escorting the three losers to their court martial seems intent on delivering the men and even works out a deal with the leader of the cave women who distrusts these men, but then he seems to side with the soldiers making one think they missed a scene or two.
The film is good for one thing and that is nudity and it delivers some really nice looking females. The comedy pretty much fails for the most part, the action is terrible and the effects are hokey. Ross Hagen plays the man intent on bringing the men back and whose change of heart comes out of nowhere. He is an actor who is a b movie king starring in a ton of films and also in films parodied on MST3K such as Sidehackers and Hellcats. The rest of the cast is not really notable, but a lot of those girls are very attractive!
One of the best soft-core B-movies of all time.
Smooth B25 October 1999
This movie is an ideal example of what viewers of straight-to-cable late night Skin-O-Max want to see....a wafer-thin plot, lots of boob action, and things exploding all over the place.
It starts with four stranded army soldiers washing up on a seemingly deserted island. Soon they are surrounded by a group of warrior women and hauled off to the main village. They are given the choice of fighting the big dinosaur (the name escapes me right now) or death. While the older soldier (Ross Hagen) thinks up a strategy, the other 3 go off, perusing the all-female village. They stumble upon 3 lovely villagers, and of course pair off with them. The ladies don't have regular names so the guys invent some for them....right out of a men's magazine. Miss April (Antonia Dorian), Miss May (Griffen Drew, who look simply fabulous in this movie), and Miss June (Michelle Bauer). After that, the plot pretty much goes as expected: each soldier scores with their respective woman, kill the dinosaur, and have some more sex later. Even Ross Hagen's character gets some from the queen of the village! What an ending! It's a short, 80-something minute film which will leave you in stitches with how bad it really is. Truly a treat for those who watch Cinemax Late Night (commonly called Skin-O-Max).
It starts with four stranded army soldiers washing up on a seemingly deserted island. Soon they are surrounded by a group of warrior women and hauled off to the main village. They are given the choice of fighting the big dinosaur (the name escapes me right now) or death. While the older soldier (Ross Hagen) thinks up a strategy, the other 3 go off, perusing the all-female village. They stumble upon 3 lovely villagers, and of course pair off with them. The ladies don't have regular names so the guys invent some for them....right out of a men's magazine. Miss April (Antonia Dorian), Miss May (Griffen Drew, who look simply fabulous in this movie), and Miss June (Michelle Bauer). After that, the plot pretty much goes as expected: each soldier scores with their respective woman, kill the dinosaur, and have some more sex later. Even Ross Hagen's character gets some from the queen of the village! What an ending! It's a short, 80-something minute film which will leave you in stitches with how bad it really is. Truly a treat for those who watch Cinemax Late Night (commonly called Skin-O-Max).
dinosaurs meet busty cave girls
vampi196031 July 2006
in this Jim wynorski/Fred Olen ray co production,military police transporting misfit soldiers crash land on an uncharted prehistoric island,with rubbery dinosaurs and sexy busty cave girls,its silly stuff the special effects are pretty bad except for the t-Rex(some stock footage from carmosaur)the b-movie cast includes;Richard gabai,Ross hagen,Antonia Dorian,Becky lebeau,Michelle Bauer,Nikki fritz,and griffin drew.the cave girls speak perfect English and look very good in their prehistoric bikinis.its co produced by roger corman.dinosaur island is'nt bad,its entertaining if you overlook all the flaws.cornball all the way with some nudity,but who's complaining.sexy Nikki fritz is in the opening scene her body and face painted blue,look for all natural beauty;Becky Le beau as the Dino sacrifice.i may be crazy but ill give dinosaur island 6 out of 10.
Cheese and Sleaze Right Out of the Chute
boiseguy213 September 2013
Q: Who has two thumbs extended upward after watching "Dinosaur Island" on Netflix? A: The re-animated zombie corpse of Roger Ebert. Oh, and me, though that would make it four thumbs, not two.
You know that you're in the heart of Cheese-and-Sleaze Land when a movie begins with a closeup of a wild-eyed, wild-haired jungle beast of a woman screaming like a banshee at the camera while wearing little more than thongs and a thong, bare-breasted except for body paint in a color bearing a surprising resemblance to Boise State Bronco Blue. Any hope you may have for this film's potential to elevate and celebrate life vanishes a moment later, when the camera cuts away to two parallel lines of scantily clad women brandishing spears and chanting rhythmically before a rough-hewn altar, upon which a woman writhing in a fur bikini struggles against the vines tethering her arms to the altar's towering sides (though even a casual inspection reveals that the vines are looped around her wrists, not tied, and would probably fall limply to the ground if she would just open her hands and turn loose of them).
Why is she tied--er, looped to the altar? She's a Snackable in a fur-bikini wrapper, a squirming sacrifice to the Great One--a snarling, bellowing Tyrannosaurus Rex rendered in stop-motion animation so shaky and erratic as to call to mind an image of Michael J. Fox doing an impression of Elvis dancing to "All Shook Up." With more gratuitous nudity than one of Calvin Klein's wet dreams; with dime-store plastic dinosaurs brought to life through ham-handed, conspicuous special effects that are almost capable of momentarily startling a slow-witted four-year-old child; and with acting more stiff, self-conscious, and unnatural than a break-dancing Mitt Romney, "Dinosaur Island" is 85 minutes of mediocrity sinking into banality under the weight of the director's apathy and the actors' indifference, most notable in the end for its almost complete lack of talent, wit, or imagination.
I ranked it four out of five stars on Netflix, in the hope that Netflix will start tossing more flicks like it my way. I would've given it five stars, but I don't want Netflix to think that I lack discerning taste and a refined artistic sensibility.
You know that you're in the heart of Cheese-and-Sleaze Land when a movie begins with a closeup of a wild-eyed, wild-haired jungle beast of a woman screaming like a banshee at the camera while wearing little more than thongs and a thong, bare-breasted except for body paint in a color bearing a surprising resemblance to Boise State Bronco Blue. Any hope you may have for this film's potential to elevate and celebrate life vanishes a moment later, when the camera cuts away to two parallel lines of scantily clad women brandishing spears and chanting rhythmically before a rough-hewn altar, upon which a woman writhing in a fur bikini struggles against the vines tethering her arms to the altar's towering sides (though even a casual inspection reveals that the vines are looped around her wrists, not tied, and would probably fall limply to the ground if she would just open her hands and turn loose of them).
Why is she tied--er, looped to the altar? She's a Snackable in a fur-bikini wrapper, a squirming sacrifice to the Great One--a snarling, bellowing Tyrannosaurus Rex rendered in stop-motion animation so shaky and erratic as to call to mind an image of Michael J. Fox doing an impression of Elvis dancing to "All Shook Up." With more gratuitous nudity than one of Calvin Klein's wet dreams; with dime-store plastic dinosaurs brought to life through ham-handed, conspicuous special effects that are almost capable of momentarily startling a slow-witted four-year-old child; and with acting more stiff, self-conscious, and unnatural than a break-dancing Mitt Romney, "Dinosaur Island" is 85 minutes of mediocrity sinking into banality under the weight of the director's apathy and the actors' indifference, most notable in the end for its almost complete lack of talent, wit, or imagination.
I ranked it four out of five stars on Netflix, in the hope that Netflix will start tossing more flicks like it my way. I would've given it five stars, but I don't want Netflix to think that I lack discerning taste and a refined artistic sensibility.
Prehistoric breast implants
Dr. Gore10 July 2004
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
It's 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I just had a shot of jack and finished off my third beer. This party is out of control! I just watched "Dinosaur Island" followed by an episode of "Black Tie Nights" on Cinemax. This couple was on a date and then they had sex. That's the show. Genius eh?
Speaking of genius, "Dinosaur Island" was a T&A spectacular. Three army guys crash land on the island of the prehistoric breast implants. They must prove themselves worthy of their big bouncy affection by slaying the really cheap dinosaur that prowls the island. The girls are confused by the new arrivals in their midst. "What is this thing you men call love?" The guys are ready to shed the cavegirl's clothes and get this party started on a Saturday night.
Once again, I must give praise where it's due. Michelle Bauer is the real deal. As the women pair off with the men, Michelle chooses the fattest loser to hook up with. She gives hope to all of us dorks out here every time she rips off her bra. Thank you Michelle for getting naked for us again. There are plenty of other women who take their tops off as well. So that's good too.
All of the dinosaur scenes were ridiculously cheap but I didn't mind. You don't think I actually watched this for the dinosaurs do you? Of course not. Anyway, "Dinosaur Island" is a good T&A flick. It's worth a look for B-movie lovers.
One last thing, keep an eye out for Nikki Fritz who shows up at the very beginning of the movie. I thought she looked familiar but I didn't realize it was her until after the credits rolled. She is the High Priestess who has her breasts painted blue and dances around like a stripper. Apparently the dinosaur is attracted to the human sacrifice by the hypnotic gyrations of cavewoman pole dancing.
It's 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I just had a shot of jack and finished off my third beer. This party is out of control! I just watched "Dinosaur Island" followed by an episode of "Black Tie Nights" on Cinemax. This couple was on a date and then they had sex. That's the show. Genius eh?
Speaking of genius, "Dinosaur Island" was a T&A spectacular. Three army guys crash land on the island of the prehistoric breast implants. They must prove themselves worthy of their big bouncy affection by slaying the really cheap dinosaur that prowls the island. The girls are confused by the new arrivals in their midst. "What is this thing you men call love?" The guys are ready to shed the cavegirl's clothes and get this party started on a Saturday night.
Once again, I must give praise where it's due. Michelle Bauer is the real deal. As the women pair off with the men, Michelle chooses the fattest loser to hook up with. She gives hope to all of us dorks out here every time she rips off her bra. Thank you Michelle for getting naked for us again. There are plenty of other women who take their tops off as well. So that's good too.
All of the dinosaur scenes were ridiculously cheap but I didn't mind. You don't think I actually watched this for the dinosaurs do you? Of course not. Anyway, "Dinosaur Island" is a good T&A flick. It's worth a look for B-movie lovers.
One last thing, keep an eye out for Nikki Fritz who shows up at the very beginning of the movie. I thought she looked familiar but I didn't realize it was her until after the credits rolled. She is the High Priestess who has her breasts painted blue and dances around like a stripper. Apparently the dinosaur is attracted to the human sacrifice by the hypnotic gyrations of cavewoman pole dancing.
More cheap junk from Wynorski & Olen Ray.
poolandrews11 April 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Dinosaur Island starts as a small plane flies over the ocean from Asia to San Diego where Captain Jason Briggs (Ross Hagen) is to hand over three deserters for trial, suddenly one of the engines cut out & the plane is forced to crash land in the sea. Captain Briggs & his mate Sergeant Healey (Steve Barkett) along with the three deserters Skeemer (Richard Gabai), Turbo (Peter Spellos) & Wayne (Tom Shell) make it to a nearby uncharted island with the injured Buzz (Bob Sheridan). Once on the island it becomes clear their problems have only just begun, poor Buzz is eaten by a giant Dinosaur & the rest of the men are captured by young & beautiful semi naked women from an Amozonian tribe & initially put to death by Queen Morganna (Toni Naples). However a cheap tattoo on Skeemer's arm saves them as the tribe believe the men to have been sent as part of a prophecy, soon the men realise in order to stay alive they have to kill the fearsome Dinosaur known as the 'Great One'...
Produced & directed by quite possibly the two worst director's working in Hollywood, namely Jim Wynorski & Fred Olen Ray I have to say that while Dinosaur Island wasn't as bad as I expected it's still an absolutely terrible film which shows just what sort of expectation level I initially had for it. I think the makers knew that Dinosaur Island was going to be bad so they play up to it & maybe this light hearted approach saves it from being a complete bore although please don't take that as any sort of recommendation as I will repeat the fact that I think Dinosaur Island is a terrible film. It's just a terrible film filled with bad one-liners, silly performances & awful special effects. The plot is pretty meaningless & makes no sense or has any central story of any worth, I mean the whole script is pretty bad from start to finish. The script only really exists to show lots of good looking women in not much clothing, the initial sacrifice scene for instance not only calls for a good looking woman to be tied up & scream her head off but for another topless woman painted blue to rip her bra off like all good human sacrifice rituals do, of course. Then there's scenes of women playing in a river, washing each other & taking their tops off, women wrestling each other & women generally looking good with the minimum amount of clothing on. At only 75 minutes long (what's with the spelling of the 'Ende' caption?) at least it's short but there's not even enough story to fill that scant duration, the plot is lethargic & I found it impossible to get involved in.
The special effects are anything but, I wonder if the bad effects were deliberate to try & increase the camp value even more. The Dinosaur effects range from embarrassing socks puppets to inanimate on set models that just sort of sit there to some horrible stop motion animation that is amongst the jerkiest & tatty I have seen. Some of the blue screen work is also incompetent. There's no real gore, a woman has her arm bitten but other than that forget it. There's a fair bit of nudity as a lot of the woman take their tops off at various points. Amateurishly made the whole production sucks, there's no excitement or sense of wonder or anything here & I don't care what anyone says there's no way that small rubber dinghy could have carried six men even if one of them hadn't been badly injured & lying down in it. Not wanting to spend any more than was necessary Dinosaur Island feature footage edited in from Carnosaur (1993) of the Dinosaurs, footage of the plane from Farewell to the King (1989) & long shots of the actual island are stolen from Terror in Paradise (1995).
Shot in just twelve days (why so long guy's?) in the often used Bronson Canyon in California as well as the late David Carradine's ranch the production values are rock bottom here with tatty costumes, sets, locations & props. The acting is bad, everyone got on my nerves although Ross Hagen as the tough Captain gives a surprisingly straight performance while all those around him are hamming it up.
Dinosaur Island is as cheap & nasty as they come, made by two of the worst director's ever to get behind a camera it was never going to be pretty. Poverty row comedy, nudie & monster film that really is as bad as it sounds.
Produced & directed by quite possibly the two worst director's working in Hollywood, namely Jim Wynorski & Fred Olen Ray I have to say that while Dinosaur Island wasn't as bad as I expected it's still an absolutely terrible film which shows just what sort of expectation level I initially had for it. I think the makers knew that Dinosaur Island was going to be bad so they play up to it & maybe this light hearted approach saves it from being a complete bore although please don't take that as any sort of recommendation as I will repeat the fact that I think Dinosaur Island is a terrible film. It's just a terrible film filled with bad one-liners, silly performances & awful special effects. The plot is pretty meaningless & makes no sense or has any central story of any worth, I mean the whole script is pretty bad from start to finish. The script only really exists to show lots of good looking women in not much clothing, the initial sacrifice scene for instance not only calls for a good looking woman to be tied up & scream her head off but for another topless woman painted blue to rip her bra off like all good human sacrifice rituals do, of course. Then there's scenes of women playing in a river, washing each other & taking their tops off, women wrestling each other & women generally looking good with the minimum amount of clothing on. At only 75 minutes long (what's with the spelling of the 'Ende' caption?) at least it's short but there's not even enough story to fill that scant duration, the plot is lethargic & I found it impossible to get involved in.
The special effects are anything but, I wonder if the bad effects were deliberate to try & increase the camp value even more. The Dinosaur effects range from embarrassing socks puppets to inanimate on set models that just sort of sit there to some horrible stop motion animation that is amongst the jerkiest & tatty I have seen. Some of the blue screen work is also incompetent. There's no real gore, a woman has her arm bitten but other than that forget it. There's a fair bit of nudity as a lot of the woman take their tops off at various points. Amateurishly made the whole production sucks, there's no excitement or sense of wonder or anything here & I don't care what anyone says there's no way that small rubber dinghy could have carried six men even if one of them hadn't been badly injured & lying down in it. Not wanting to spend any more than was necessary Dinosaur Island feature footage edited in from Carnosaur (1993) of the Dinosaurs, footage of the plane from Farewell to the King (1989) & long shots of the actual island are stolen from Terror in Paradise (1995).
Shot in just twelve days (why so long guy's?) in the often used Bronson Canyon in California as well as the late David Carradine's ranch the production values are rock bottom here with tatty costumes, sets, locations & props. The acting is bad, everyone got on my nerves although Ross Hagen as the tough Captain gives a surprisingly straight performance while all those around him are hamming it up.
Dinosaur Island is as cheap & nasty as they come, made by two of the worst director's ever to get behind a camera it was never going to be pretty. Poverty row comedy, nudie & monster film that really is as bad as it sounds.
Good poster, at least
BandSAboutMovies30 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Dinosaur Island has a great poster and let's leave it at that.
Actually, I'm not going to get away with that, so let's talk about this movie.
It seems like I set out to do a week about societies where women rule and I end up watching Jim Wynorski movies. Well, at least he has Fred Olen Ray along for this one, all about five pilots crashing in the jungle and coming up against not only dinosaurs, but a tribe of Amazonian women who include Michelle Bauer (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Nightmare Sisters), Becky LeBeau (Joysticks), Deborah Dutch (Vice Academy 6) and Toni Naples (Deathstalker II).
Instead of the jungle, this tribe really is running part of David Carradine's ranch and are battling footage taken from Carnosaur, here called the Great One.
Who can make sense of all of this? Captain Jason Briggs. And who is he? Russ Hagen from The Sidehackers.
Who can be blamed? Roger Corman, who wanted to cash in on Jurassic Park and hired Ray and Wynorski, who claimed in the book Crab Monsters, Teenage Cavemen and Candy Stripe Nurses - Roger Corman: King of the B Movie that this is more a cavegirl movie than a dinosaur flick.
I guess the nicest thing that I can say is that the soldiers seem to treat the women with respect, which they should, because they are the rules of Dinosaur Island, which is just down the beach from Dinosaur Valley.
Actually, I'm not going to get away with that, so let's talk about this movie.
It seems like I set out to do a week about societies where women rule and I end up watching Jim Wynorski movies. Well, at least he has Fred Olen Ray along for this one, all about five pilots crashing in the jungle and coming up against not only dinosaurs, but a tribe of Amazonian women who include Michelle Bauer (Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Nightmare Sisters), Becky LeBeau (Joysticks), Deborah Dutch (Vice Academy 6) and Toni Naples (Deathstalker II).
Instead of the jungle, this tribe really is running part of David Carradine's ranch and are battling footage taken from Carnosaur, here called the Great One.
Who can make sense of all of this? Captain Jason Briggs. And who is he? Russ Hagen from The Sidehackers.
Who can be blamed? Roger Corman, who wanted to cash in on Jurassic Park and hired Ray and Wynorski, who claimed in the book Crab Monsters, Teenage Cavemen and Candy Stripe Nurses - Roger Corman: King of the B Movie that this is more a cavegirl movie than a dinosaur flick.
I guess the nicest thing that I can say is that the soldiers seem to treat the women with respect, which they should, because they are the rules of Dinosaur Island, which is just down the beach from Dinosaur Valley.
Worst movie I have ever seen.
Don Quixote1 March 2004
When someone asks me to come up with a quick answer to: ``What's the worst movie you've ever seen?''; my answer is _Dinosaur Island_.
This movie not only has terrible acting and a bad script, it also epitomizes one of my biggest film/TV pet peeves. i.e. when one character tells another character a word that is not in the latter's vocabulary, the latter repeats the word back to the former pronouncing the word differently (since the actor read it from the script differently).
From this movie:
``What are you doing?''
``Chemistry.'' (pronounced properly)
``What is this chem-is-try?'' (the `ch' pronounced like the word `cheat')
Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible-- that's all I gotta say.
This movie not only has terrible acting and a bad script, it also epitomizes one of my biggest film/TV pet peeves. i.e. when one character tells another character a word that is not in the latter's vocabulary, the latter repeats the word back to the former pronouncing the word differently (since the actor read it from the script differently).
From this movie:
``What are you doing?''
``Chemistry.'' (pronounced properly)
``What is this chem-is-try?'' (the `ch' pronounced like the word `cheat')
Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible-- that's all I gotta say.
TERRIBLE but also awesome!
jellopuke4 July 2019
Stupid but honest about it.
danielkarlsson-5973628 May 2023
It's not a good film, and the film knows it and just rolls with it
The plot is your basic "armed people arrive at exotic locale and deal with monsters"-fare.
The lines are cheesy and the acting is hammy but at least the actors seem to have some fun.
Any flaws (and there are many of those) are hidden by plentiful amounts of T&A and the occasional erotic soft-core scene.
Some exposition also helps the film become at least borderline coherent.
What little budget there was, they spent on bad (even for the time) FX. Hopefully the actors got paid.
The film is cut rather poorly.
Still, it does live up to the promise of an island and it does have dinosaurs.
I can fault it for many things but not dishonesty.
I got a few laughs out of it at least.
The lines are cheesy and the acting is hammy but at least the actors seem to have some fun.
Any flaws (and there are many of those) are hidden by plentiful amounts of T&A and the occasional erotic soft-core scene.
Some exposition also helps the film become at least borderline coherent.
What little budget there was, they spent on bad (even for the time) FX. Hopefully the actors got paid.
The film is cut rather poorly.
Still, it does live up to the promise of an island and it does have dinosaurs.
I can fault it for many things but not dishonesty.
I got a few laughs out of it at least.
Paradise Island
queenb8018 September 2005
This movie is awesome! It has a great script, really cheesy effects, and nudity galore. Ross Hagen, Peter Spellos , Tom Shell and the always hilarious Richard Gabai star as soldiers stranded on a deserted island. They find that they are not alone. Bikini clad cave babes inhabit the island and mistake the soldiers for Gods thanks to a happy face tattoo on Gabai's arm. The men must prove their worth by slaughtering "the great one" (no, it's not Jackie Gleason) and bring food to the village. In the process the men teach the women about other activities involving very little clothing and we see a lot of stock footage. Tom Shell has since gone on to other pursuits in producing and I'm happy for him but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. He played a good "joe average who gets laid" character and he did it without looking like a sleaze. Gabai gives a comedic performance reminiscent of Dean Martin. This review wouldn't be complete without mentioning the ladies. Griffin Drew, Michelle Bauer and (the completely natural bodied) Antonia Dorian play the sexy cave babes who teach the guys the real meaning of R&R and they do it with very little dialogue. This is a fun film that doesn't take itself too seriously.
0+0+0=8
BrianV23 January 2000
A military plane carrying a hardnose officer bringing some deserters back for a court-martial crashes in the ocean. The survivors make their way to a deserted island, where they discover a tribe of semi-nude, large-breasted cavewomen and are menaced by a tyrannosaurus rex. That plot's been used in several movies from the '50s, but fortunately this movie has much more nudity than those films did. The women are gorgeous, most of them get naked, none of them can act (gee, what a surprise...), the special effects aren't as cheesey as one would expect from a Fred Olen Ray film. Altogether, I'd rate this 0 for acting, 0 for plot, 0 for a coherent script, 8 for gratuituous nudity. It's not a bad way to spend an hour or so on a Friday night with a six-pack. as long as you don't expect a whole lot. P.S.: If the T-Rex in this movie looks familiar, that's because it's the same one Corman used in his earlier movie, "Carnosaur."
Male Fantasy Supreme
Kakueke8 July 2002
The best male fantasy is not a dumb, beautiful female. It does not matter whether she is dumb or intelligent, and I prefer intelligent as sexier. But simple-minded, yes, if the lady is impressionable, easily coaxed or cajoled, and persuaded, and yes, does exactly as you suggest, no matter what, with the emphasis on those three words. A small group of U.S. army soldiers crash lands onto an island populated by scantily clad cavewomen, who look like playboy models, facing danger from monsters. Three nerdy soldiers are the center of the action, and get it with and from three gorgeous ladies. Who cares if it's cheesy? This movie is one of the best male fanstasy movies ever made.
Has an impressive resume
Robbie-434 November 1999
Just reading the credits alone for this film caught the eyes of the Eye Candy Hall of Fame academy. It is a joint product of the auteurs Wynorski and Olen Ray, known for their unique visual style, classy special effects, and strong women characters. It stars All-Century team beauty Michelle Bauer. It has dinosaurs on an island roaming free before they were confined to zoos. Upon watching the film, the real pleasure was the star-turning performances of Antonia Dorian and Griffin Drew. Ms. Drew is a very gifted actor and earned 2nd team All-Century status with her charm, which was especially evident during the healing scene. All three leading ladies and some minor characters help elevate this film beyond just a travelogue. We don't know how, but we would all enjoy seeing more of these lovely women.
Like a Woody Allen comedy ..... only with nudity and dinosaurs
merklekranz13 January 2014
Some of the writing for "Dinosaur Island" reminded me of Woody Allen's zany comedies from the 1970s. Only Woody didn't have a tribe of prehistoric women who look like they all could be "Playboy" centerfolds, or some of the most hilarious sock puppet dinosaurs to ever roam an island. How about the scene where one of the men tries to impress a voluptuous babe by cooking her a Pterodactyl he supposedly killed for her. "Funny this tastes more like turtle" remarks the babe, as he pushes away a turtle shell behind him. There is ample nudity, a ridiculous story, and bad acting. The film is entertaining all the way through, and way up there on the "B movie" chuckles scale.
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