Click: The Calendar Girl Killer (1990) User Reviews

Poor but funny

[Leofwine_draca · 4/10 · 29 January 2016]

CLICK: THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER is a late-entry instalment for those purveyors of schlock, Crown International Pictures, and it's an extremely poor film. Sloppily made, written in a hurry, with unbelievable characters and ridiculous situations. However, it's also entertaining in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way, which means that it's much better than the majority of Crown's output.

The plot is some throwback to the old PSYCHO routine with a hidden villain struggling with multiple personality syndrome. Along the way, a number of nubile young women - who end up either undressed or parading around in their underwear - are offed in not particularly gory ways.

CLICK has little that horror or slasher fans won't have seen before, but there are fun performances from the likes of Troy Donahue and in particular Ross Hagen, and it's hard to dislike those cheesy performances. In fact, with Hagen also contributing to the direction and script, it must have been a labour of love for the actor, and it shows.

Almost bad enough to be great

[ofumalow · 3/10 · 12 June 2008]

Take one part "Eyes of Laura Mars" ripoff (photographer shoots models in kinky violent situations, then somebody starts killing the models) plus one part even cheesier "Psycho" imitation (transvestite killer with major mommy issues), add terrible dialogue, enormous 80s teased hair, opening/closing credits with tacky girls-'n'-guns imagery, choppy/sloppy grade-C film-making, and....Well, let's just say this might strike you as one of the stupidest/funniest films ever made, IF you're watching with friends and have had a few drinks. Otherwise, it's campy enough for dedicated bad-movie aficionados but not quite enough to be an outright camp classic. There's no violence, gore or nudity (unless bikinis count) until all ridiculous hell breaks loose in the last half hour, and even then those elements are pretty feeble. But it's all so ineptly sleazy you might not mind.

Not very good.

[dbborroughs · 2/10 · 30 July 2009]

A series of killings take place that are connected to a photographer who likes to mix sex and violence.

Dull thriller is the sort of thing that wants to be daring but never is. The film feels like it was made to be daring, however looking back at the film some 20 years after it was made it really wasn't all that daring and reminded me of the exposition scenes in the adult films of the period. Honestly I have so many problems with the film it would be pointless to list them all (IMDB does have space limits) so I'll only list one or two The photo shoots of the women with big hair and big breasts are laughable because, like much of the movie, are staged too much on the cheap. Any photographer worth his salt would never shoot the way he does. The performances are earnest but not very good, and the plot is far from thrilling or clever. I was bored when I wasn't giggling.

I really didn't like the film, thought to be honest there are some people who really do, so I think its probably best you make up your own mind. My advise is pick another movie.

Hooray for fast-forward

[fjaye969 · 1/10 · 31 January 2013]

There might be spoilers below. But so little goes on in "Click" that it's hard to tell.

Don't be misled by the gushingly overheated verbosity of a few other reviewers here. No number of adjectives will disguise the fact that the movie simply stinks. The tedium was such that I FF'd through a good 60% of it, trying to find a spot where something resembling a story was happening.

So many bad things to point out. For example...the motorcycle stunt is incredibly inept--the car has already crashed, and the bike appears to hit something well ahead of it (we can't see). Then a slo-mo flying body, seemingly 20 feet up, flies out head-over-toe, and slams into a gully a good 30 feet away...then gets up without a scratch.

Why does the red-haired model bother to put on lipstick just before taking a bath? Why does the pop music she's listening to on a radio continue to blare as the "scary music" blares on top of it? Who set off the bombs during the run through the field--the killer is chasing the heroes while that happens. Why does no one seem to notice that models are dying? Why does the killer hate models in the first place? Why the cross-dressing?

One saving grace--the models *are* cute, even with the big hair.

Worth fifty cents maybe

[lazarillo · 4 October 2008]

I got this movie as part of set of eight movies I paid four bucks for, so keep in mind I'm probably going to be overly generous to it (Whatever you do, do not waste more than 50 cents trying to see this). The movie is basically about a deranged transvestite nurse killing bimbo models during a closed fashion shoot in the California desert. But is the nurse connected to the deranged, violence-obsessed photographer who's putting on the shoot? Well, I don't want to ruin it, but it ruins itself pretty well.

The movie starts with a gratuitous nude scene, and for that matter, a completely completely gratuitous appearance by former Playboy Playmate Dona Speir. She completely disappears afterwards though when the action shifts out to the desert. There's plenty of other bimbos to be had, however, including future "Baywatch" babe Traci Dali. I have to wonder about the reviewers who say these girls are "unattractive"--if they happen to be personally dating MORE attractive girls than these, then they're definitely wasting their time reviewing crap movies on the internet. The girls are definitely very sexy both in and out of their skimpy bikinis, but--trust me here--this movie has absolutely NOTHING else going for it. Has-been matinée idol Troy Donahue and never-really-was character actor Ross Hagen are functional at best. The plot is generic and stupid. The visuals are cheap and uninspired. And the music is downright execrable.

This might be worth seeing for fifty cents, but it's definitely not worth a penny more.

Not saucy enough? *SPOILERS*

[anxietyresister · 1/10 · 2 May 2005]

Okay, if you were a model, and your photographer liked to take photographs of you in near-death situations while wearing very little clothing, wouldn't you be slightly concerned? In real life, of course you would be.. but in this movie, apparently such worries are non-existent. Despite the gradual death toll of all the girls who take part in these shoots, they still queue up to participate. This does not do anything towards quashing the stereotypes of dumb Playboy Playmates.

The script of this T&A movie has other problems, including a sleazy boyfriend who cheats on his model girlfriend then has the cheek to lecture her on exploiting herself. Not to mention the moment when he collides with an oncoming car on his motorcycle, falls off a cliff and yet escapes without a scratch. But let's face it, you're not here for logic or plot consistency. You want to know how often these gorgeous babes get their kit off. Well sorry to disappoint you, but..

There isn't as much of it as you'd expect. The modelling scenes are done in such a way as to obscure the most explicit nudity, and the soft core sex scenes have a tendency to cut before the good stuff gets going. If I were you, I would go out and rent some proper porn if your intention is to watch this for skin purposes (and what other reason would there be?!). It would be far more satisfying, and you wouldn't have a cheesy plot, dreadful acting and banshee-like screaming getting in the way of your enjoyment. You know it makes sense.. 0/10

Stupid, pointless and unfinished!

[SwatchDog · 1/10 · 19 February 2000]

Click has got to be one of, if not THE worst movie I have ever seen. You've got to be worried when the opening and closing credits are accompanied by scantily-clad tramps dancing around in the background. This film tells the pathetic story of some stupid killer killing off Calendar models, even though we don't see any of this action until the second half of the film when he stalks a small group of models at closed-set ranch out in the middle of nowhere! I heard from an online acquaintance that many of the actors were pulled from the film by the MPAA or SAG for some odd reason, which may explain why many scenes and characters don't make any sense whatsoever to the story and only appear in limited scenes, particularly the first scenes.

What also got on my nerves was the fact that none of these girls were even attractive enough to be models and not many of their faces ring a bell. The director probably met them on the street, much like a character in the film does, arghh this film is sooo bad, although particular merit goes to Friday the 13th gals Susan Jennifer Sullivan and Juliette Cummins (one of the pulled actors - had a big role) who turn in quite decent performances, especially Susan. The rest of the cast, Troy Donahue in particular, just annoyed me.

Would be the worst movie of all time if people had actually seen it! So if you're REALLY bored, watch.. actually don't watch it.. go rent the Vice Academy series where at least the campiness is entertaining! This is trash.. what the hell were they thinking?? Same applies to me that day in the video store!! (exhale)

Just killing time

[Chase_Witherspoon · 2/10 · 13 April 2012]

Ross Hagen home movie has a deranged transvestite knocking off centrefold models at a photographer's isolated ranch. Next big thing (Sims) is lured to the ranch to advance her career, but her disapproving boyfriend (Cummins) follows her and ends up part of the ensuing madness.

Shot on video, Hagen has spared no expense with his pyrotechnic displays, use of blank ammunition and fake tan, while the stunts are unlimited and the cast attractive and diverse. Troy Donahue has a few pointless scenes as Hagen's pastel-coloured polo shirt wearing assistant, while Hoke Howell has a virtual cameo as a PI investigating the strange disappearances of models. Some audiences might recognise Tracy Dali and Dona Speir from other, eh, publications although their roles are strictly ancillary (Speir has a prominent role in the first two scenes then abruptly disappears without explanation). As for Hagen's performance as the offbeat snapper, he looks professional if tired, but really comes to life in the final act, nursery rhymes and all. A performance not to be missed.

There's a couple of humorous moments where Cummins learns to fight and teaches a male model to ride his motor-cycle, but it's still pretty flimsy with an awful lot of time spent with Sims (vaguely reminiscent of a young Elisabeth Shue) and Cummins arguing, then making up, then arguing again etc etc. The film ambles to 80 minutes which gives you an idea of how much action, or lack thereof, is contained in the movie. No issue with Ross Hagen wanting to show that movie-making is accessible to almost any budget, just wish he had a better concept before he embarked on this glorified home movie.

Remotes were made for clicking. On, and in this one's case, quickly off.

[mark.waltz · 1/10 · 26 January 2023]

It's definitely a desperate place, not a summer place, for '50s heartthrob Troy Donahue whose presence in this horrible Crown International film is an embarrassing one. You can tell from the moment that this starts that it was written with a lot of anger to society, particularly women, shown in some rather unladylike photoshoots, and it becomes one of the weakest sexual thrillers of a decade filled with them, no other cast member even worth mentioning because I wouldn't consider any of them to be actors. The film is revolting from start to finish with horrendous photography, even worse direction and an editing job that is so choppy that you would think it was done at Benihana.

It would be a miracle for any discerning viewer to make it even halfway into this film let alone the finish because this is a film filled with abhorrent characters, so badly underwritten and with no redeeming values, and the story as a whole is extremely uninteresting even though it is attempting to be an exploitative view of the photography industry. Donahue, having aged a lot in the 30 years since that fabulous Sandra Dee movie, comes off as a hot silver daddy, but definitely emotionally stunted and acting even younger than his character from that 1959 hit. The females come off as rather repulsive, not one of them having any redeeming values, and the men are easily manipulated by their overly tanned bodies and silhouetted nudity that they don't realize that their souls are literally being sucked out of them. Not an ounce of sympathy for any of the characters, but I do sympathize with anybody who attempts to watch this and find anything of value. It's one of those movies that deserves to be emptied into the trash even well before it's over. Films like this document why a good majority of movies of the time prove that this was the era of cinematic garbage.

Do they get any worse than this??

[Weasel100 · 1/10 · 28 September 2005]

To "Plan Nine From Outer Space" and "Robot Monster", we can safely add this lot of trash as one of the worst movies ever made. I read the reviews of this movie before I actually watched it. This was so I would be prepared and could compare my thoughts with those of other who have gone before me. Having read others' comments, I wasn't expecting much and I certainly wasn't disappointed. I paid 99 cents for the DVD of this rubbish in a bargain bin sale. Alas, I was ripped off!! Seriously though, this movie is so bad, it's a must see. I haven't been allowed to post this comment because it didn't contain enough lines. So, I'll just say that it's a shocker.

John

that girl that looks like the redhead from Savannah!

[RavenGlamDVDCollector · 2/10 · 18 June 2017]

Actually, on merit, just 1, and then only because there is no 0 option, but I have to relent, there is a very, very pretty dream-girl in here, and, well, I could just look at her, and look at her. And look at her. You get the picture. I have yet to determine who she is, because catching the character's name in this kind of flick is kinda difficult, I don't think she has a name, it is that kinda flick... No, I'm not talking about that Andy Sidaris girl Dona Speir. The little chestnut mare, that fine little filly (first to the slaughter, arghh...)

The Raven doesn't normally watch this kind of thing. Years and years ago, during my VHS days, I saw loads and loads of low quality type flicks brought into this stuck-up country (then, back then, we're talking late Eighties/early Nineties South Africa... believe me, you Yanks, you have no idea how to even spell R E P R E S S I O N) and the kind of stuff that were being let through to video stores were often these "gore and sex" titles in the wake of movies like BASIC INSTINCT, go figure the logic of the up-keepers of moral standards, but okay, to cut a long story short, me and a buddy watched a lot of these junky type things, and he had a great time watching my reaction during slasher movies. Like, that shouldn't be like that, man! I well remember how I despised AEROBICIDE...

Getting to the point, I've been trying to find a movie named NIGHT CLUB, and the only way I could get it on DVD... Ooh, you lot will know. The Dangerous Babes box-set. Featuring eleven other titles I'd never ever even heard of ever. Losers, I guess...

One of them is even a slasher movie. I thought, okay, I'll watch it, but if it offends me, so help me Hollywood, I'm gonna blast it on IMDb and give it a next-to-zero rating.

Turns out it isn't really a kill-em-for-fun slasher in the full sense. It meanders considerably and it takes fifty minutes for the gore to start. By that time, the average slasher fan had long since crawled back into his ghoulish coffin and is fast asleep.

There is considerable disinformation among the reviews posted here. (1) No nudity, only bikinis. Maybe you saw a censored copy, guy. There is plenty of nudity. (2) No natural bodies? Wrong again. That beautiful girl with the reddish brown hair and the delicate, er, upper structure, she is as natural as can be. (3) The girls aren't beautiful. Jeepers, I dedicated the title of this review to that lovely girl who reminds me of Jamie Luner in SAVANNAH, the 1996/7 Aaron Spelling TV series. She is won-der-ful. And she undresses, champagne glass boobsies with perky nippsies, ooh yummy, with bare buttocks too, I'm lucky after all!

But the general consensus that it is a stinker, currently rated on average something like 2,5 out of 10, that is very, very much the way it is, only it shouldn't even be that high. The movie itself is like BIKINI ISLAND, lowly trash saved only by a pretty girl. In this one's case, she gets wasted at around 52 minutes in. The rest is mostly just flotsam. With salvageable bits drifting about. Some leggy scenes too. And, yes, the best bit I've seen of Dona Speir, looking very vulnerable and hiding behind a diaphanous veil, without the armament she usually carries when she's in Uncle Andy's movies.

The gore? Wouldn't satisfy those that way inclined.

I was originally going to give a preach ranting against the slasher type movie, or rather, against the fan of that kind of genre. Suffice to say that I view that kind of thing as the lowest form of low. I mean, stand on a ladder to look a snail in the eyes, that kind of low, if seeing a girl murdered in a bath is your kind of exciting thing.

Other good thing about the movie, the perverted nursery rhymes the killer utters during his insane rantings. I couldn't quite make all of them out, figures! "Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a hail of bullets" and "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, I'll burn off your balls with my candlestick" as he pursues with nothing less than a flame- thrower.

Beautiful and evocative

[habiba-1 · 10/10 · 17 March 2007]

I must agree with one of my fellow reviewers that this movie moved me like no other. Ross Hagan (aka Kal) is The Robert DeNiro of B grade films, he is the embodiment of cool, sophistication and raw masculinity. Being an ex nurse, i found Ross' portrayal of a psycho nurse to be very accurate with regards some of the nurses i used to work with. The movie may have been clichéd, but it has the formed basis of many horror/porn film such as Scream, I know what you did last summer urban legend etc, etc... It's a shame that Ross didn't get to work with some of the greats such as Sylvester Stallone and Danny Glover. In closing i hope that some day there will be a sequel - Click, Return of the jackhammer.

Daft but entertaining serial killer flick

[Red-Barracuda · 6/10 · 28 July 2015]

This serial killer flick was directed by, written and stars Ross Hagan, a veteran actor of the American b-movie and z-movie. It's about a photographer who likes to shoot sexy swimsuit models in pictures with violent themes. He gathers a crew in a remote desert retreat but soon a killer nurse pitches up and begins murdering everyone one by one.

The title of this one suggests it will be an erotic thriller, which after all was a very popular sub-genre of film in the early 90's. And in fairness, it sort of is but not maybe as much as it should be. It benefits from featuring the very attractive Dona Speir, star of various Andy Sidaris sexploitation efforts. But unfortunately, she disappears after a couple of prominent early scenes. This seemed quite careless as she is always pretty good value in these types of b-movies. Anyway, the action relocates to a ranch and we then have a succession of photo-shoots, melodramas and comic scenes. Eventually the killer turns up and embarks on a murder spree, although for some reason no one ever seems to notice people are being bumped off. Anyway, events eventually spiral into delirious proportions as the killer nurse chases victims around the ranch while creating explosions everywhere in a pyrotechnic finale.

This film hasn't got too good of a reputation clearly. But I sort of thought it was much more entertaining than I expected given its low rating. Sure, it's clunky, silly and utterly predictable - was the killer's identity really meant to be a surprise?! – yet, it has enough pretty girls, slasher violence and general absurdity to ensure its always good fun.

Really Bad. Really.

[arfdawg-1 · 1/10 · 8 January 2017]

The Plot.

Click: The Calendar Girl Killer is a thriller that probes the inner sanctum of the mind of a psychotic killer as he uses the world of big fashion photography for his sadistic playground.

This is a world where girls drink right out of the $6 tequila bottle.

For some reason there are a couple reviews that espouse the greatness of this film. They are wrong. It sucks.

There is also a review that says none of the girls are hot. He's wrong too. In fact the girls are the only reason to watch this movie. And that's really not enough.

The movie is pointless. Unless you want to see a night scene in Chinatown about 13 minutes into the movie. I make note of it because absolutely NO ONE is on the street! It's empty. And they are parked at a Mexican restaurant. What kind of stupidity is that?

The movie looks like it was made for a hundred bucks. Avoid!

One of Crown-International's last gasps

[Wizard-8 · 7 April 2012]

There's no denying the fact that a B movie centered around the model photography industry could be a sleazy and enjoyable time. Unfortunately, this particular effort ends up being pretty much a complete waste of time. There's evidence at the beginning that this was a troubled production, with two people credited as director and six people credited with the screenplay. Whatever happened behind the scenes resulted in this being a very boring movie. The killings don't start until more than half the movie has gone by, and the kills themselves aren't very explicit for the most part. Speaking of explicit, what you might be expecting to see in this movie - sex and nudity - well, there's hardly any of that stuff at all. Also, there's no real story until the killings start - until then, it's just one scene after another that serves no real purpose. The production values are terrible, with soft and murky photography, poorly recorded dialogue, and annoying background noise. Oh, I guess there are a few unintended laughs here and there, and there is an impressive stunt by someone on a motorcycle, but other than that, this movie is a complete waste of time. And a message to the person who, in less than a 24 hour period voted that four of my comments of other awful Crown-International films were not "helpful" - justify your opinion of those awful movies by contacting me, or by posting your own comments!

DEADLY WEAPONS

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 3 January 2019]

This is a very poorly made who-dun-it slasher. The film starts with a band playing at a party. They were clearly faking their instruments (I don't think the instruments being played matched the band). They made the Monkees look like artists. There is also a quick photo shoot of Donna Speir who otherwise doesn't factor into this film. Ironically her character complains about the nudity that models have to do.

Jack (Ross Hagen) is a photographer who is shooting a calendar of girls with weapons. They go out to a ranch for the shooting. We are given a glimpse of the proverbial abused child as our psycho killer dresses up as a nurse. But with the killer being a male and only one male suspect, the idea of concealing the identity doesn't work well.

The movie holds true to the slasher code (plus 1 star) by only killing girls after they have exposed themselves to the camera. The continuity had me scratching my head. After Johnny (Gregory Scott Cummins) crashes his bike and does a couple of flips through the air, not does he only get up uninjured, by his bike is fine too.

The film rates high on the MST/Asylum scale.

PARENTAL GUIDE: No F-bombs. Sex and Nudity (Donna Speir (rear and shear) Tracy Dali, Lisa Michelle Axelrod)

I Did Watch It all the way through

[recluse2 · 5/10 · 17 August 2019]

Average. Action and T, & A. Plenty of early 20's girls, fashion models. The sounds of all the guns (and some explosions) were strangely soothing to me. You would call this mindless entertainment. As far as caring about the characters; you don't mind if they get killed.

Goofy

[BandSAboutMovies · 5/10 · 6 October 2022]

Man, Ross Hagen got into directing and made some movies that just sleaze it up. The Glove, B. O. R. N. and this one hit just right for me and Hagen directed this with John Stewart, who directed Action U. S. A. And wrote it with David Chute and David Reskin, who also wrote Skinheads, Dark Future and Hidden Obsession, another John Stewart directed movie that pairs up Jan-Michael Vincent and Heather Thomas. Hoke Howell also wrote the script, which was based on a story by Carol Lynn and Stewart.

These are the kinds of things that get me way excited about a movie.

Like how it took six people to write a movie about women getting naked and getting sexual with guns.

Hagen is also Jack, a photographer of nude women. Calendar girls. He also likes them to be, as Perry once sang, to be involved in scenes where their sex is violent. The girls are Cindy (Keely Sims), Juliette Cummins, Susan Jennifer Sullivan and Dona Speir, who is above all others thanks to her appearances in so many Andy Sidaris movies.

It's not the most exciting movie - it does have a transgender killer so there is that - but it looks nice because Gary Graver was making sure the cameras got the best looking images of, well, sex and murder. He knew what sold.

Pure And Utter Garbage

[willowsly · 1/10 · 20 June 2005]

Firstly let me just say WORST ENDING EVER ! Click is a cheesy almost 80's ish movie that is the pure embodiment of trash. Not only is it filled with Nearly naked or actually naked chicks with no natural body type at all. This movie only serves to prove that Small budget movies with likewise minded people, the only thing that gives it merit is...well....Nothing.

Skantily clad women dancing around with assorted weapons however entertaining for a mere five seconds was a completely and utterly a waste of not only my time but also the time of the people within the movie. the killer was absolutely Predictable and the death scenes (which don't present them selves until the last 30mins of the movie) were completely corny and had very little no Substance Originality, and the poor acting. Not to mention the cropped story line which was sketchy at best and made no real sense at all.

Death Of Mother + Abuse By Nurse = Retaliation On Models please explain? It didn't have a hint of a moral, not to mention the freaky Norman Bates (phsyco) complex what with the cross dressing and such.

I don't normally write reviews but this movie was soooo terrible I couldn't help but try to warn any and all other who may even consider renting, Buying or even just watching this movie.

Original.....and Amazing!..

[Angeleyez2000 · 10/10 · 8 February 2007]

Well, firstly.....I'd like to say that despite what people tell you about this movie...it is one of the best movies made....it was so original, the acting was raw and real and personally i think Ross hagen did a excellent job...i mean come on...the unforgettable dialog..Jack: "You little B**ch, don't you ever talk to me again like that!" and "Alright guys let's hustle"....not to mention when he he smiles when the van takes off in one of the scenes...i must say he is pretty good looking as well...i actually have a friend that resembles him, and in all seriousness, girls ask him for his phone number all the time!(Kal;)) The killings in the movie were freaky but realistic, the idea of the nurse killer was so outlandish and disturbing that made it good....the metro music was excellent, the script superb...and the action sequences were amazing..especially considering it is an old film, but yet they pulled off some amazing scenes...Ross Hagen is one of my idols today and the character jack.and i envy to look like him......there is nothing like him, and in my opinion he should of been nominated for something...It was the best Christmas DVD i got and i highly recommend it if your looking for a intellectual, deep, and even meaningful movie.....

An enjoyably lowbrow piece of diverting junk

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 21 December 2008]

Hard-nosed and demanding macho photographer Jack Hackerman (excellently played to the fiercely rugged hilt by Ross Hagen) and a handful of models go to a remote rural ranch to shoot pictures for a forthcoming calender. Things turn sour when a crazed cross-dressing misogynistic psycho dressed up like a nurse starts bumping off the ladies. Hagen, who both co-directed the film with John Stewart and co-wrote the amusingly tawdry script, takes a while to get the story going in the rather draggy opening half, but picks up steam and really starts cooking once the killings begin and goes for broke with a gloriously over-the-top explosive conclusion. Moreover, Hagen plunges into the delightfully deranged deep end with deliciously histrionic eye-rolling gusto as the giggly wisecracking transvestite nutjob. The murder set pieces are appropriately bloody and brutal. Better still, the female cast members are all quite sexy and attractive: Keely Simms contributes an endearingly sweet turn as the perky Cindy, the always ravishing redhead Juliette Cummins burns up the screen with her customary saucy aplomb as a naughty slut who gets slashed up in a bathtub after performing a sizzling striptease, Susan Jennifer Sullivan amuses as the fetching, but stand-offish Lisa, Lisa Axelrod is smoking hot as the lusty Jennifer, and gorgeously statuesque blonde stunner Dona Speir makes a brief appearance as bitchy veteran model Nancy Johnson. The guys are likewise solid: Gregory Scott Cummins as Cindy's possessive, hot-tempered boyfriend Johnny, Troy Donahue as Jack's loyal assistant Alan, and Hoke Howell as snoopy private investigator Lara. The flashy photo sessions with their shamelessly blatant blend of sex and violence are total trashy hoots. The slick cinematography by Thomas L. Callaway and Gary Graver gives the movie a nice glittery look. Stu Goldberg's groovy-rockin' score hits the funky spot. A good deal of entertaining Grade B schlocky fun.

"I Call It 'Violent High Fashion'!"...

[azathothpwiggins · 27 September 2021]

CLICK: THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER opens with beautiful, oily women in barely-there bikinis, brandishing knives and guns while striking various poses. This is pretty much the way it goes in this movie, with more photoshoots with increasingly bigger guns.

Is that a flamethrower? Where did they find so many gorgeous women with soap bubbles between their ears? Hey! There's a chainsaw! Here come the machineguns!

Meanwhile, a killer prepares to relieve these vacuous women of their exciting lives.

This is a hilariously silly movie about the hazards of calendar modeling. The actual murders take forever to get rolling, but the rest is such absurd brilliance that it hardly matters! Nonsensical situations merge with muddle-headed dialogue to produce this cinematic wonder.

THIS MENAGERIE ALSO INCLUDES: #1- Pirate chicks with eyepatches and double-barreled pistols! #2- A watermelon! #3- Cavemen! #4- A finale pitting a Fonzie lookalike against the world's burliest nurse!

Watch immediately!...