Lina Romay and her motley crew of female agents are hiding microfilm up their asses for reasons I didn't get (my Spanish is not so hot). The first minutes of extreme closeups of anuses through a magnifying glass really sets the tone for this disgusting hardcore effort, which was directed by Lina herself with some noticeable help from Franco. Roughly 80% of the movie consists of failed, slightly awkward hardcore scenes between the three female agents and two male spies (one of them having serious problems holding an erection). There's also some slapstick humor of the lowest kind to spice up the dull hardcore action, like Antonio Mayans silly gay agent or the communist spy who chants political slogans while 'making love'... real classy stuff, recommended to idiots, lovers of unerotic porno and francophiles in the last stages of the disease (same category?).
3 Reviews
A Crack for Two
Michael_Elliott29 April 2008
Crack for Two, A (1984)
** (out of 4)
Yet another hardcore film co-directed by Jess Franco and Lina Romay. As usual with a Franco hardcore picture, this film doesn't go for anything sexual but instead it throws countless sex scenes into a bizarre story. The story centers around a government agent who is following a spy (Romay) who puts some sort of secret chip up women's butts in order to carry out only God knows what. I had to view this film in Spanish without any subtitles so I'm not exactly sure what the chips were being used for but it doesn't appear that there was too much to the story since the majority of the 83-minute running time centers on the sex scenes. For the most part these scenes are poorly shot and you can tell that the director was working on a very low budget. At least this time out Franco was able to cast some better looking women as some of his hardcore films seem to have him digging at the bottom of the barrel. Romay is pretty good in her few scenes in the film, although she only appears at the start and end. If you're wanting to see her in hardcore action then here's another chance as that's all she's really doing. The supporting cast members are interesting at best, although Franco does show up in a few scenes. There's really nothing here that stands out among the other hardcore films Franco was making during this time period but if you must view everything the director has done (like me) this one here is certainly far better than some of the movies he was making around this time.
** (out of 4)
Yet another hardcore film co-directed by Jess Franco and Lina Romay. As usual with a Franco hardcore picture, this film doesn't go for anything sexual but instead it throws countless sex scenes into a bizarre story. The story centers around a government agent who is following a spy (Romay) who puts some sort of secret chip up women's butts in order to carry out only God knows what. I had to view this film in Spanish without any subtitles so I'm not exactly sure what the chips were being used for but it doesn't appear that there was too much to the story since the majority of the 83-minute running time centers on the sex scenes. For the most part these scenes are poorly shot and you can tell that the director was working on a very low budget. At least this time out Franco was able to cast some better looking women as some of his hardcore films seem to have him digging at the bottom of the barrel. Romay is pretty good in her few scenes in the film, although she only appears at the start and end. If you're wanting to see her in hardcore action then here's another chance as that's all she's really doing. The supporting cast members are interesting at best, although Franco does show up in a few scenes. There's really nothing here that stands out among the other hardcore films Franco was making during this time period but if you must view everything the director has done (like me) this one here is certainly far better than some of the movies he was making around this time.
Spy on spy
BandSAboutMovies25 February 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Jess Franco kept coming back to the Red Lips, this time to create a pornographic parody of them and this time, Lina Romay plays some kind of spy who programs women by placing a microchip up their asses, which reminds me of how James Shelby Downard shared in his book The Carnivals of Life and Death: My Profane Youth: 1913-1935 that when he reconnected with his first love after years apart that she had been co-opted by the labyrinth of sex-magick-occult-conspiracy that plagued him for his entire life, he reached down to her rear end and she had a series of wires and computer chips the likes of which we wouldn't see for many decades hanging out of her posterior.
Carmen Carrión, who was in Franco's Alone Against Terror and The Sexual Story of O, appears, as does Rosa María Martín from Lilian and Mari Carmen Nieto from Mansion of the Living Dead and La sombra del judoka contra el doctor Wong. Amongst all the spy on spy hardcore scenes, Antonio Mayans plays a gay character.
With Lina's limited role in this movie, I wonder if she really did co-direct this movie.
Carmen Carrión, who was in Franco's Alone Against Terror and The Sexual Story of O, appears, as does Rosa María Martín from Lilian and Mari Carmen Nieto from Mansion of the Living Dead and La sombra del judoka contra el doctor Wong. Amongst all the spy on spy hardcore scenes, Antonio Mayans plays a gay character.
With Lina's limited role in this movie, I wonder if she really did co-direct this movie.
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