Don't Kill Me (2021)
2/10
Hilarious Twilight Mashup
7 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This Italian film is about a teenage girl who dies while living life to the full (i.e. Overdosing on some dodgy drugs) and then comes back to life as a zombie vampire. Its a story of passionate first love between a dangerous brooding misunderstood type of a guy and a lovely wide eyed sweet teenager. A tale of heartbreak and loss of innocence, betrayal and true friendship. It all ends, dramatically, with our heroine hardened, her heart turned cold and evil by the injustice of it all, but she will endure and she will have those loyal to her by her side.

If this sounds like a cliché - its because it is. The whole film is a collection of clichés and bad writing, with a disjoined story aspiring to be the Twilight Saga or some other similar vomit inducing bilge. Scene of our heroes being oh so dangerous in a car - check. Scene in the nightclub when their eyes first meet across the seedy dance floor - check. Scene of the intense physical encounter - check... And this is just the beginning of the film. All of this "paint by numbers" trashy tableus are connected by barely there story that sometimes doesn't even try to make any sense (the girl was ODed but was buried without an autopsy? What was her dad doing in the flat she used to come to with her beau, who was the girl he was with, what was that all about? Girl's mum, why pay her so much attention and then just abandon her altogether?)

Acting was not terrible, but nevertheless bland and forgettable, and I could not help but laugh at the love interest's stunted and squashed Robert Pattinson lookalike appearance.

Anyway, if you feel like watching this - don't. Despite all the unintentional hilarity, its incredibly dull and boring. Avoid.
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