There aren't many movies that have a scene where Adam West is nude in an Austin Powers way and has a famous madame go down on him while he takes a long satisfying puff on a cigarette, but here with this early Cannon film, which was the third and final in the series* of films about Xaviera Hollander, a Dutch call girl who grew up in a Japanese-run internment camp and going on to be New York City's top madame before writing the best-selling The Happy Hooker: My Own Story, acting in My Pleasure Is My Business, releasing a board game and recording the album Xaviera! Which has spoken word thoughts on sex, her singing The Beatles' "Michele" and then some early JOI content including her having audio sex with Toronto rock star Ronnie Hawkins.
Martine Beswick (Zora in From Russia With Love, Paula Caplan in Thunderball, a cavewoman named Nupondi who battles Racquel Welch in One Million Years B. C., Sister Hyde in Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, the Queen of Evil in Oliver Stone's Seizure, plus From a Whisper to a Scream, Critters 4 and the Fred Olen Rey movie Cyclone; more people should be worsipping her) is Xaviera, who has been flown to Hollywood to discuss the movie of her life that se doesn't want to make. She'd rather just have fun with her business, which she's still a very hands - and other body parts - on part of, servicing a cop played by Dick Miller in the first scene. Martine may be following Lynn Redgrave and Joey Heatherton in the role, but if she can't measure up to their acting - actually, she totally does - she's more willing to toss off her clothes.
Warkoff Brothers Studios - run by Phil Silvers! - wants to get the signature from her to mae this, but they want it cheap, so they use Lionel Lamely (West) to get her to fall in love. Come on, people. This is the Happy Hooker! She turns the tables by getting her girls to make the movie cheap and bringing young Warkoff Brothers exec Robby Rottman (Chris Lemmon) to her side, making an independent version of her film financed by horizontal assets.
Her ladies are Tanya Boyd from Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks; January 1977 Playboy Playmate of the Month Susan Kiger from Death Screams; 1969 Miss Utah Lindsay Bloom who was Maybelle on The Dukes of Hazzard; twins Candi and Randi Brough and Dana Feller, who was only in one other movie, the Cannon weirdness that is Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype.
This is the kind of movie that has Army Archerd play himself and satirize Hollywood while completely being Hollywood. But it's fun, all of the women have way more brains an agency than the men and maybe we can overlook that the end of the movie has Richard Deacon - yes, Mel Cooley from The Dick Van Dyke Show - and West dressed as women. And hey - Edie Adams is in this, too.
It's total fluff, but the kind of fluff that makes me happy. There's never any real tension, nothing other than the trans jokes at the end that are troublesome and carefree late 70s nudity. 15 year old me gives this movie unlimited stars; 49 year old me can't believe that I still watch and write about stuff like this.
*There are two other movies inspired by her, The Life and Times of Xaviera Hollander and The Best Part of a Man.
Martine Beswick (Zora in From Russia With Love, Paula Caplan in Thunderball, a cavewoman named Nupondi who battles Racquel Welch in One Million Years B. C., Sister Hyde in Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde, the Queen of Evil in Oliver Stone's Seizure, plus From a Whisper to a Scream, Critters 4 and the Fred Olen Rey movie Cyclone; more people should be worsipping her) is Xaviera, who has been flown to Hollywood to discuss the movie of her life that se doesn't want to make. She'd rather just have fun with her business, which she's still a very hands - and other body parts - on part of, servicing a cop played by Dick Miller in the first scene. Martine may be following Lynn Redgrave and Joey Heatherton in the role, but if she can't measure up to their acting - actually, she totally does - she's more willing to toss off her clothes.
Warkoff Brothers Studios - run by Phil Silvers! - wants to get the signature from her to mae this, but they want it cheap, so they use Lionel Lamely (West) to get her to fall in love. Come on, people. This is the Happy Hooker! She turns the tables by getting her girls to make the movie cheap and bringing young Warkoff Brothers exec Robby Rottman (Chris Lemmon) to her side, making an independent version of her film financed by horizontal assets.
Her ladies are Tanya Boyd from Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks; January 1977 Playboy Playmate of the Month Susan Kiger from Death Screams; 1969 Miss Utah Lindsay Bloom who was Maybelle on The Dukes of Hazzard; twins Candi and Randi Brough and Dana Feller, who was only in one other movie, the Cannon weirdness that is Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype.
This is the kind of movie that has Army Archerd play himself and satirize Hollywood while completely being Hollywood. But it's fun, all of the women have way more brains an agency than the men and maybe we can overlook that the end of the movie has Richard Deacon - yes, Mel Cooley from The Dick Van Dyke Show - and West dressed as women. And hey - Edie Adams is in this, too.
It's total fluff, but the kind of fluff that makes me happy. There's never any real tension, nothing other than the trans jokes at the end that are troublesome and carefree late 70s nudity. 15 year old me gives this movie unlimited stars; 49 year old me can't believe that I still watch and write about stuff like this.
*There are two other movies inspired by her, The Life and Times of Xaviera Hollander and The Best Part of a Man.