5/10
Wacky Waste of Talent
19 January 2022
Some of the very best actors in Hollywood were teamed up with the best special effects people, and what passed for an acceptable action story in those days (unacceptable to seals, though!) and the whole package was assigned to a guy who was better as a Hollywood icon than as a human being-- Raoul Walsh.

The result might have been worthwhile if it had been four hours long. Yeah, a story this convoluted would have worked out fine at around four hours. Like a modern TV series on Netflix or Amazon. But as it is, the story is told in an hour and a half! It grinds on for nearly an HOUR of fiddling about in a San Francisco Hotel-- with a bunch of drunken revelry taking the place of a plot.

Once everybody sobers-up and we FINALLY get to sea, the movie is more than half over and everything feels rushed and sorta dumb. I mean, you get seal hunting and ship racing and gun fights and Cossacks and plots to buy Alaska and court intrigue and Russian steam-punks with real steamers, and, and-- well the little kid in me is out of breath trying to tell it all.

The end result of all this hap-hazard direction is a bit of a mess. Was Raoul Walsh a great director-- or did he have the dirt on some studio bosses?? We'll never know for sure...
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