This represents every single characteristic, without missing one, of the traits
that make a movie unwatchable. A lot has to do with an industry that churns out thousands of these things a week, or month, never expecting them to go mainstream, whatever that might be these days, (I remember when the only choice was a movie theatre).
The point is, like american currency and the equally worthless debt-bonds that "back" it, it costs nothing to produce but can be sold to one of the hundreds of online stream companies that pull some advertising revenue for because if those that haven't figured the magic combinations that get everything free and without ads.
In 1960 a few new movies came out every month and we all knew what they were, who the stars were etc. Now, they are mainly independently produces by anyone with a cell phone, use amateurs with no talent, have no crew to speak of, so there is no editing skill, or acting skill, or script or screenplay or novel or even a plot, certainly nothing like direction, and with no budget either, the viewer truly gets what they pay for, which is usually nothing.
Perfect films for a completely stupefied public between the ages of 8 and 20 something, that have never learned anything about human beings but know how to use a cell phone and wouldn't know quality if it hit them over the head with a crowbar or butcher knife, in fact two of the major means of creative expression in this particular masterwork of stupidity.
The so called horror genre 50 years ago sometimes trotted out a movie with some creative ideas that were startling or very funny, or could in some way be called creative. But this...............
The formula. Get 5, and it is usually 5 teenagers. Isolate them via car breakdown in some rural area, a farm, cabin in the woods etc, and then pit them against some aberration that methodically mutilates them to their welcome death. The audience welcomes it more then the tortured victim, as it brings the end of the movie closer, and the decibel level of high pitched shrieks drops 20% with each dispatch.
And here we go AGAIN. 6 (we get a bonus moron) imbecilic teens are stranded and abducted by a group of engineered pig people, complete with ridiculous pig noses, that now run the farm/laboratory where these Pigensteins were created, after killing their inventors, and now feed themselves with the random tourists they kidnap.
At least Toby Hooper, father of this part of the genre, created a movie with enough going for it, at least for it's place in film history, to have warranted criticism. This just warrants a no-show. It is just so bad, so poorly done, so ludicrously predictable, that there is zero tension, fear, surprise, pleasure, absolutely nothing to compel interest or empathy or any emotion except contempt for your own judgement in deciding to look at this witless mess. In this situation, the only possible empathy can be for the largest pig-nose, because at least he has a motive, he like to eat. Beyond that the only standout feature is that the one victim that temporarily escapes has THREE distinct chances to kill his unconscious and isolated captor, or to get far away, but no, he prefers to be hunted down over and over, until his limbs are separated from his body with an ancient rusty gigantic butcher knife, and as for his girlfriend, who has also escaped at least twice , the last time we view her , her head is being split in half. THE END. So, at least it ends on a happy note, namely that we can switch to a better movie,
I highly recommend that you do watch it, because unless you were born without a brain, a medical anomaly that has occurred, you will be in that wonderful position where "I told you so" And it is part of the perversity of human nature to slow down at car wrecks to ogle, and to deliberately do the wrong thig for the sheer idiocy of it. Why not inject yourself with cancer or Bubonic plague, because a specialist in these plagues tells you not to?
But, as punishment for watching after hearing or reading the stone truth of the matter, you have to sit through the entire thing, at high volume so you don't miss one grunt, shriek, snort, whine or squeal.
Then come back and read this............I told you so.
The point is, like american currency and the equally worthless debt-bonds that "back" it, it costs nothing to produce but can be sold to one of the hundreds of online stream companies that pull some advertising revenue for because if those that haven't figured the magic combinations that get everything free and without ads.
In 1960 a few new movies came out every month and we all knew what they were, who the stars were etc. Now, they are mainly independently produces by anyone with a cell phone, use amateurs with no talent, have no crew to speak of, so there is no editing skill, or acting skill, or script or screenplay or novel or even a plot, certainly nothing like direction, and with no budget either, the viewer truly gets what they pay for, which is usually nothing.
Perfect films for a completely stupefied public between the ages of 8 and 20 something, that have never learned anything about human beings but know how to use a cell phone and wouldn't know quality if it hit them over the head with a crowbar or butcher knife, in fact two of the major means of creative expression in this particular masterwork of stupidity.
The so called horror genre 50 years ago sometimes trotted out a movie with some creative ideas that were startling or very funny, or could in some way be called creative. But this...............
The formula. Get 5, and it is usually 5 teenagers. Isolate them via car breakdown in some rural area, a farm, cabin in the woods etc, and then pit them against some aberration that methodically mutilates them to their welcome death. The audience welcomes it more then the tortured victim, as it brings the end of the movie closer, and the decibel level of high pitched shrieks drops 20% with each dispatch.
And here we go AGAIN. 6 (we get a bonus moron) imbecilic teens are stranded and abducted by a group of engineered pig people, complete with ridiculous pig noses, that now run the farm/laboratory where these Pigensteins were created, after killing their inventors, and now feed themselves with the random tourists they kidnap.
At least Toby Hooper, father of this part of the genre, created a movie with enough going for it, at least for it's place in film history, to have warranted criticism. This just warrants a no-show. It is just so bad, so poorly done, so ludicrously predictable, that there is zero tension, fear, surprise, pleasure, absolutely nothing to compel interest or empathy or any emotion except contempt for your own judgement in deciding to look at this witless mess. In this situation, the only possible empathy can be for the largest pig-nose, because at least he has a motive, he like to eat. Beyond that the only standout feature is that the one victim that temporarily escapes has THREE distinct chances to kill his unconscious and isolated captor, or to get far away, but no, he prefers to be hunted down over and over, until his limbs are separated from his body with an ancient rusty gigantic butcher knife, and as for his girlfriend, who has also escaped at least twice , the last time we view her , her head is being split in half. THE END. So, at least it ends on a happy note, namely that we can switch to a better movie,
I highly recommend that you do watch it, because unless you were born without a brain, a medical anomaly that has occurred, you will be in that wonderful position where "I told you so" And it is part of the perversity of human nature to slow down at car wrecks to ogle, and to deliberately do the wrong thig for the sheer idiocy of it. Why not inject yourself with cancer or Bubonic plague, because a specialist in these plagues tells you not to?
But, as punishment for watching after hearing or reading the stone truth of the matter, you have to sit through the entire thing, at high volume so you don't miss one grunt, shriek, snort, whine or squeal.
Then come back and read this............I told you so.