6/10
"Try not to do something stupid, like kill your family!"
27 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This film is one in a long line of made for teens vampire flicks which includes such fare as "Monster Squad" and "My Babysitter's a Vampire". In a bit of an anomaly, the two principal characters are portrayed by relative unknowns (at least to this viewer), while the supporting cast boasts a formidable cast of talented actors. Some, like Salma Hayek and Willem Dafoe have only brief screen appearances, while John C. Reilly as ringmaster Crepsley plays a significant role in the conflict that develops between childhood buddies Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) and Steve (Josh Hutcherson). When Steve recognizes Crepsley from the pages of a vampire magazine, he offers himself up to be a vampire in training, but is thwarted when bitten by a lethally poisonous spider. In order to save his friend's life, Darren offers himself as Crepsley's assistant, but with no taste for blood, he's only committed to being a half vampire.

Since I follow vampire films as best I can, I'm always intrigued by any new information that comes my way via new vampire lore. This story introduces a class of vampires called the 'vampaneze', those that have no problem killing their victims after drinking their blood. Contrast that with your run of the mill, everyday vampire that only wants to suck your blood and turn you into a vampire themselves. Much more humane. There's also this tidbit of information in the story - vampires exhale a gas that has the ability to knock out humans. How did no one think of this before?

Before all the business started with Darren and Steve figuratively going for each other's throat, I was most intrigued by the opening of the picture with the introduction of all those circus freaks. Alexander Ribs and Rhamus Twobellies were actually kind of gross, but they did remind me of the actual physical oddities that appeared in the Tod Browning classic from 1932 titled "Freaks". In that one you had the real deal, with characters like the Siamese Twins, a bird woman, a bearded lady, a pin-head and the amazing caterpillar boy. With those kind of attractions, you didn't need a vampire!
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