Dogs of Berlin (2018– )
4/10
Extremely mediocre
11 April 2020
Warning: Spoilers
First episode felt rather intriguing. Grim, dark, even clever.

But it all collapses pretty quickly. Characters are cardboard cut-outs and even though that one dimension they've given is well-written and acted, you can't squeeze much out of a rock.

Main character named Kurt is worst of them, the corrupt trickster and liar who's somehow object of every woman's desire and also a great detective. Which would be fine... if show had any more dimensions than one. Kurt reminds me detective McNulty from The Wire, except McNulty was fun to watch. He had a moral compass, he was actually a good detective and he had humor.

Speaking of which... German stereotype or not, but this show has exactly zero humor. Unless you count two broken noses funny. It's grim, gets grimmer and then some more. Not a second of relief, not a single human interaction. So naturally, your mind starts looking from some in other places.

Like, say, the fact that producer has some sort of fetish with human-sized gorillas. There's Turkish mafia ones, Slovak(?) mafia ones, Internal Affairs ones, Football security ones, Neo-nazi ones... Basically majority of men you see in this show are somehow 2 meters tall and 200 kilograms heavy, and apparently escaped from Berlin zoo. Except for two main protagonists who look like swimwear models. And *of course* one of them has to be gay.

This is all very weird, very distracting and makes little sense. Especially since distraction is all there is. Actual procedural police work doesn't really happen, big "gang war" of gangs that supposedly have "huge criminal empires" consists of three gorillas shooting at other three gorillas in tiny shops, and the story of a good-boy rap artist (who, when story needs, turns into Spider-man for no reason whatsoever) turning into crime feels fake and forced as well.

From the show called "Dogs of Berlin", I hoped to see learn anything about Berlin, as breathing, living city and it's underworld. Well, or law enforcement. This show really shows neither. Nothing like the city of Baltimore from The Wire (which I feel this show heavily borrows from), nothing except random, messy drama at all.

So, in the end, two characters in this show about a city, criminal underworld and police work who really are somewhat interesting to watch are two women, a bored alcoholic housewife and lonely alcoholic mistress.

Pity.
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