1/10
Holiday Septic Waste
13 December 2019
When this film was made, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle hype train was pretty much running on fumes. The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers would karate kick the mean green fighting machines off the top spot of kids' TV shows, and the third New Line movie would be met with negative response, as well as not make as much as the last two films. This was a dark time for the Turtles, as they would soon be put into something more horrible: two direct-to-video movies where they were attempting to be the next Barney.

Yes, in 1994, two videos, We Wish You A Turtle Christmas and Turtle Tunes, were released, and man, it was terrible. Taking the style of suit acting done in the New Line, these two films tried to take the once-great heroes in a half shell and turn them from crime fighters into preschool fodder. As such, these two videos are basically an attempt to make a quick buck off educational shows like Barney & Friends and Kidsongs.

In We Wish You A Turtles Christmas, the Turtles go topside realizing they never got a gift for Master Splinter. Along the way, they sing holiday songs modified to TMNT-themed. However, they are all done horribly. Leonardo singing a modified Deck The Halls in Jamaican style? Michelangelo singing a New York-themed parody of Oh Little Town Of Bethlehem? Yeah, get used to it, this is the majority of the special. Also, why are they walking around out in the open? Aren't they supposed to be hiding from the humans (including the kids they invite to their sewer lair)? This special has no respect for the source material.

The turtle suits are the flat out worst I have seen. You can easily see the straps on the sides of each turtle keeping the shell intact, and the faces are creepy, with those eyes and the mouths stuck on that creepy grin. Speaking of the mouths, they don't move then they should, which adds to the creepy factor. This is one of the worst things the TMNT franchise has spawned, and it should stand as the perfect example of how not to adapt a cartoon into one.
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