5/10
The Bored Bandit
3 March 2019
Packed full of anti-action and non-thrills, The Blue-Eyed Bandit is only saved by Franco Nero's performance. Other than that, there's not much else going for it at all.

Franco is plays a crippled old man working a mundane accounts job in an insurance firm. Derided by his colleagues and the rest of the staff in the building, he's always last out after work, and doesn't seem to want to mingle with folk, including the nymphomaniac dinner lady.

What people don't know is that Franco is literally playing a crippled old man, because in the safety of his own home, he takes off his brown contact lenses, wig, and cripple shoes and becomes buff, daring Franco Nero the heist planner. We all know he's up to something, and it looks like that something is a huge payload courtesy of that firm he works for. Franco also has mother problems and regularly goes to visit his senile mother in an old folks home, even though he wishes she was dead for ruining his life.

I'm not sure which way Nero's character is meant to swing but there's a sub plot with him visiting a sauna and striking up a strange relationship with the guy who works there. Watch out Nero - he wants to turn your brown eye blue! Both the mother and the sanua guy will come back to haunt Nero after he pulls of his heist. He makes a big deal of making sure the victims know he's got blue eyes, but still makes enough mistakes that there's at least three people in the building cottoned on to his ruse.

The problem with this film is that even though Nero puts in a good turn as the quick-changing thief, most of the time not much happens expect Nero pretending to be an old man or people trying to catch him out. There's barely any action to speak of at all and even the heist is a bit of a wet blanket. The police sketch of him is quite funny though as it resembles Nero-lookalike Terence Hill rather than Nero himself.

Apart from that, my wife happen to catch a bit of this while passing by and noted that Franco Nero is saying his lines in English while everyone else is obviously speaking Italian, and the film was probably more likely aimed at the Italian market, so why was Franco Nero speaking English. Stranger still, the print I watched was recorded from Italian television and yet was an English dub. Reality is tangible when it comes to the extremes of Italian cinema.
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