The Triangle (2016)
3/10
Self indulgent garbage.
7 December 2017
The Found-footage genre seems to attract the worst kind of film maker. The ones who would rather do cheap vanity projects than actually attempt to make a decent film. After watching this poor excuse for a film, I think I hit the nose on the head with my assumptions. Let me set the scene for you; a group of dorks receive a postcard from one of their missing dorks, and he invites them to visit him in his commune. The commune is really a bunch of entitled losers who decide to forgo the comforts of modern society and instead live cheaply in the wilds of the Montana desert (I didn't even know Montana had deserts). Everyone in this group is an insufferable hippie; who in their right mind gives up modern things like electricity and television to live with a group of other weirdos, freaks and geeks? There is something strange going on, but no one wants to talk about it.

That's where the movie failed for me. The film starts out with an hour of people talking, giving each other weird glances, a camera man who is scared of his own shadow, and a just cult-like atmosphere seeping from every corner of 'The Triangle'. So for almost an hour, we see their daily activity, from cooking to pooping, and nothing else of interest goes on. I am not exaggerating; save for the camera that gave me violent nausea, nothing else of interest goes on. Until they show the film crew what it is that they were hiding.

My interest peaked, I thought we were going to be treated to a final half hour of creepy developments and startling discoveries. But, just as quickly as the interesting thing happen, the movie ended. Not in a whimper, but in a half-hearted "Meh".

It was obvious that the film makers were on a budget, or were just extremely cheap, since this film literally ended like most movies begin.This whole experience felt like something that was half baked, like a cake that was taken out of the just as the outside turned brown. The credits told me everything I needed to know about this failure, and with a truly talented team, this movie could have been something interesting. But these people are not talented, nor do they deserve your time or money. Avoid this movie, never speak of it, and watch something else. Anything else. Just because I wasted an hour and a half of my life, doesn't mean anyone else has to.

Heed my warning; This "Triangle" definitely deserves to disappear.
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