We start off with amateur sleuth Jean (or something) settling down for a cigarette and some wine while his woman cleans the house when he receives a letter from one of his long lost friends: a certain Guillaume de Saint Lambert. At first it sounds like Guillaume has consumed large amounts of LSD before writing the letter, but then Jean uncovers some ridiculously complex clue: "If we take the first letter from each word it refers to the works of Buadilliare, and the date is wrong so if we add that together
" These days that letter would have been thrown in the recycling while we all slope off to check if anyone has liked a picture we uploaded of a shoe.
Clue uncovered, the duo head off for the standard creepy old castle! Yeah! It's Gothic horror time again, but this film is set in the seventies, so how are we going to get that 'gothic' feel? Easy! Guillaume de Saint Lambert has gone insane and thinks he's living three hundred years in the past and has gotten rid of anything electrical, but kept those old suits of armour, all the cobwebs, and of course, many,many candles.
At least that's what his creepy wife whose definitely not a witch tells Jean when he arrives. Saint Lambert tells a different story, saying he's uncovered the truth and there's a curse on the family and he's a bit tired so he'll tell the rest of that story tomorrow morning before selfishly dying without revealing his wife is a witch. Meanwhile Jean's wife is getting obsessed with a picture in their guest room that depicts a witch being burned. Now and again some real flames start appearing and freaking her out – sometimes on the picture, and one time in the glass of booze she was drinking – I think that might be the local grappa, love.
Turns out the witch is killing off all the Saint Lamberts, including his female cousins, whom she has brought to her naked of course by other naked women so she can claw at their boobs and then dump their bodies elsewhere. There's also a zombie involved and a bit of Sapphic love involving Jean's missus while he's off trying to solve the mystery of how to kill off an immortal witch (she actually tells him how, psychically, I think, which was rather unwise).
You all know from watching Hammer Horror films that when some immortal creature is defeated they then go through a quick stop-motion aging process before turning into a skeleton, but here the witch goes through the hilarious aging process, then explodes! Then something else explodes that the budget couldn't show so we just get Jean looking at it! If you like bad movies this one is worth seeking out, or not, as I've just told you the whole plot.
Clue uncovered, the duo head off for the standard creepy old castle! Yeah! It's Gothic horror time again, but this film is set in the seventies, so how are we going to get that 'gothic' feel? Easy! Guillaume de Saint Lambert has gone insane and thinks he's living three hundred years in the past and has gotten rid of anything electrical, but kept those old suits of armour, all the cobwebs, and of course, many,many candles.
At least that's what his creepy wife whose definitely not a witch tells Jean when he arrives. Saint Lambert tells a different story, saying he's uncovered the truth and there's a curse on the family and he's a bit tired so he'll tell the rest of that story tomorrow morning before selfishly dying without revealing his wife is a witch. Meanwhile Jean's wife is getting obsessed with a picture in their guest room that depicts a witch being burned. Now and again some real flames start appearing and freaking her out – sometimes on the picture, and one time in the glass of booze she was drinking – I think that might be the local grappa, love.
Turns out the witch is killing off all the Saint Lamberts, including his female cousins, whom she has brought to her naked of course by other naked women so she can claw at their boobs and then dump their bodies elsewhere. There's also a zombie involved and a bit of Sapphic love involving Jean's missus while he's off trying to solve the mystery of how to kill off an immortal witch (she actually tells him how, psychically, I think, which was rather unwise).
You all know from watching Hammer Horror films that when some immortal creature is defeated they then go through a quick stop-motion aging process before turning into a skeleton, but here the witch goes through the hilarious aging process, then explodes! Then something else explodes that the budget couldn't show so we just get Jean looking at it! If you like bad movies this one is worth seeking out, or not, as I've just told you the whole plot.