8/10
Needs to be seen to be believed.
8 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
If you've ever wanted to see a hermaphroditic Shu Qi (the sexy actress sporting a massive prosthetic schlong) screw the lovely Loletta Lee every which way on a scorpion-shaped sex chair, then Sex and Zen II is for you. But amazingly, that's not even the most insane part of this bonkers film, director Cheuk Man Yu packing this sequel with wall-to-wall sex-fuelled craziness.

The film opens as it means to go on, with the wealthy Simon Khan (Elvis Tsui) performing eye- watering feats of strength with his genitals: hanging watermelons from his penis, using his scrotum in a tug of war with a bull, and writing in the sand with his dick. Simon, you see, is obsessed with sex, and has four wives to satisfy his lust. But as horny as he is, he doesn't want his beautiful daughter Yau (Lee) to follow suit: when she leaves home to study, he makes her disguise herself as a man (unconvincingly so) and equips her with a booby-trapped chastity belt (a wise move, since her fellow male students are also sex-mad, taking time out from their learning to partake in jizzing competitions!).

One night, scholar Fa Tau wakes to find Yau having an erotic dream and sees that she is a woman. He is tempted to have sex with her, but on spying the scary chastity belt, decides that a hand-shandy might be a wiser move. Unfortunately, he trips while pleasuring himself, falls onto Yau, and ends up with a shredded todger anyway. Feeling sorry for her mangled classmate, Yau pays for Fa Tau to be equipped with a mechanical penis that rotates and spews smoke.

Shu Qi now enters the story as Mirage Lady, a demon who draws energy whilst bonking, and matters get even more bizarre: Mirage Lady marries Simon's son, but screws his randy dad behind his back. Meanwhile, demon hunter Ironman is hot on her trail, determined to put an end to her killing. Entranced by Mirage Lady's sexiness, Simon has Ironman shot with a poison arrow that will cause his dick to explode, the only remedy being to have sex within the hour; fortunately, Yau is happy to save his life, slipping out of her chastity belt to relieve his suffering. Simon pays for his wicked ways with his life when Mirage Lady causes HIS dick to explode, and Fa Tau narrowly escapes having his life-force drained thanks to his mechanical johnson! In the totally nuts finale, Yau must resist coming whilst being shagged by Mirage Lady, the demon's weakest moment being during orgasm.

A category III Classic, they don't come much sexier or sillier than this, the action being absolutely ridiculous and the women incredibly hot. Sex and Zen II is one for those who think they have seen it all.
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