Dolly Dearest (1991)
2/10
Lamentable Child's Play rip-off
27 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
As you may have already guessed, CHILD'S PLAY is the influence for this lamentable C-grade horror movie which doesn't even have the decency of including any of the genre staples (eg. sex or violence) which would have made it more of an exploitation piece. Instead, we're treated to long sequences where little occurs (eg. the first half an hour), terribly wooden acting and a clichéd script which also draws in influences (or to put it plainly, rips off) from POLTERGEIST and THE EVIL DEAD. The best thing about this boring, cheaply-made effort is that I didn't have to pay to see it! At least it keeps a straight face throughout, which means that it's better than abysmal fare like the LEPRECHAUN series or that abomination, RUMPLESTILTSKIN. Sadly, though, the deadly serious tone only provides a couple of unintentional chuckles throughout the film.

Things open with some of those poor computer effects standing in for an ancient Mexican evil force that immediately possesses a factory of dolls. The box makes this sound impressive, until you realise that there are only about four dolls in the "factory" (more like a run-down shed). After this we are introduced to an all-American family. These are a mixed bunch. Firstly we have the terrible actress Denise Crosby. For Denise, this was another step down in her career, which had previously gone from STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION(a popular, mainstream cult television series) to PET SEMATARY(a just about passable Stephen King adaptation). After this, things could only get worse, and the last I know of her, she was shedding her clothes for some erotic cable series.

Her husband is an irritating, mindless idiot who must be blind not to notice the "odd" things going on in his household (daughter speaking in strange tongues, child's strange attachment to doll, son's obsession with archaeological site). He is played by Sam Bottoms, a wooden nobody. The daughter is an irritating, whining little girl, but the son is a likable geek. Another desperate actor appearing in the cast is Rip Torn, who plays a John Rhys-Davies type role of an intrepid archaeologist - at least HIS career could only go up from here.

There is only one gore scene of note in the film, a painful moment where a man gets his hand caught in a sewing machine. There are three deaths in total. One occurs at the beginning, with a man getting crushed under a stone door. The second man has a heart attack (?), and then a woman gets electrocuted. Big deal. The film doesn't even offer up much in the way of doll rampage, with the limited special effects of an animated doll only appearing briefly throughout the film - what a rip off.

Seriously, the best thing I can say about this movie is that it's short, and also at least the dolls don't keep coming back to life - once they're dead, they stay dead, which doesn't prolong the agony. A few of the scenes in the Mexican tomb are all right as well, particularly the discover of a desiccated, goat-headed corpse. And check out some of that hilarious dialogue, like "My daughter is possessed by a 900 year old goat-head, damn it!". All in all, though, this is a colourless affair, and one to be avoided like so many others, unless you're REALLY stuck for something to see.
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