Warcraft (2016)
4/10
Not as bad as I thought, yet still...
18 June 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Before I even get started: Yes, I have played the games. I actually did play all WC-games, starting in the mid 90s, and have been playing WOW on and off ever since 2005.

So, with that said, I was a bit worried about the movie when I saw the trailers, as a lot of the stuff looked very artificial and even cheap. Don't get me wrong, the CGI is pretty damn good, and you can see how much motion capture etc. has advanced.

However, it falls apart for me whenever one of the really good-looking orcs (as in: great CGI) are in the same scene as humans. Once that happens, it starts to look very artificial. Actually, the riding-wolves the orcs use look artificial in EVERY scenery, regardless of who else is in the frame. It's not their size, it's that they look really bad.

Also, some of the makeup looked pretty bad too. When I first saw the elves, I was rather amused, even though we only got a quick look at them, as their ears looked totally cheesy and artificial, especially the color. It looked like bad cos-play ears.

Well, of course, it's hard to pull it off, so let's get to the other parts: - The acting. I didn't enjoy the acting. There was almost no vibe at all between the actors. Some overacting happened (Wide-open stare of Lothar, who totally looks on the edge all the time. Yes, he tragically lost his son, but it was tiring).

  • The plot/setting. Yes, they have a lot of story to set up, as they apparently really want to make sequels. However, what was the goal here? Was this supposed to get new fans for the franchise, introduce people who have never played the games to the world of Azeroth? Why then have such a convoluted plot and such a huge cast, with so many things (Medivh being possessed etc) being unexplained. I can't even imagine how confusing some of this must have been for people who don't know any WC-story.


Was this supposed to be fan-service? Why then change so many things, have so many inconsistencies? I don't doubt that some of the changes to the lore might have been an attempt to create a better story. However, if you want to satisfy fans... they do NOTICE when you change things too much. Why is Dalaran flying? This didn't happen until much later. Why does Stormwind look like it did after it was rebuilt after the orcs actually razed it?

So much of it seemed forced... the Murloc-sound might make some people smile, but it was like "OK, let's just throw everything in there, all these innuendos and clues! Oh, and let's plaster the Kirin Tor icon EVERYWHERE"

  • The dialogue was... ridiculous


  • The love-scene/love-story. Gee, yeah, The Hobbit showed me that it apparently is totally and absolutely impossible to make a movie without a love-story thrown in. Regardless of what happens, someone has to fall in love with someone, no matter how forced or silly it looks. So the little love-story here feels much too forced, develops much too quickly (well, at least that part is over quickly) and just is not needed. It's like they went through the checklist and went "OK, love-story, done!"


  • The music... what happened? I did actually listen to the score by itself as well, because it does not stand out at all in the movie, I hardly noticed there was music there, it was that bland... and not only does it sound rushed, with way too many repetitions, it also sounds like a sample-library-MIDI-score from about the late 90s. I have heard B-movies with a better-sounding and better-produced score.


  • The armor. Yeah, I know, WOW is well_known for ridiculous armor, its like a big inside jokes. Gigantic shoulderpieces etc. However, that's not the point here. The armor here looks ridiculous, like plastic with a tiny bit of gloss on it. It looks cheap. I heard some guys from WETA were involved here and I imagine that going like this: "Hey guys, so you make a fantasy movie? So OK, here is how you make armor, this is how you make it look a bit worn-in, here is to make it look like something smithed by hand and having been used" Reply: "Oh cool. Yeah. We don't have the time/patience/workforce/money for this, so let's make some casts, pour plastic into those, done". I was almost reminded of the props in movies like Flash Gordon seeing some of the plate armor in here.


  • The movie takes itself much too seriously. We all know that WC and WOW always had some silliness to it, that's part of it. And the slapstick-like little bits with Lothar and Khadgar were not like that. The only FUN scene was the hyper-aggressive gryphon in the end, when that went to work on the orcs in the background while Lothar again was over-acting in the foreground.


  • I didn't care at all about what happened to these people. Everything was so rushed, so crammed, so it was hard to feel anything when someone died.


I know that the "this movie has no warmth/no heart" is criticized as something critics use when they have nothing else bad to say or whatever. However, I have played these games and still love them, I have spent so much time in Azeroth, have read and experienced these stories. And to me, this movie feels dull, bland, cold, overstuffed, badly paced, badly written, badly scored, rushed and undecided whom it wants to be for. It's not quite as bad as I thought when I saw the trailers, but a 4/10 isn't exactly awesome, and it gets those points because you can tell they actually tried to do well...but IMO failed.
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