Audrey Rose (1977)
3/10
Part supernatural drama, part courtroom drama, part Crazy Frog lookalike competition, but absolutely no horror.
21 March 2016
Elliot Hoover (Anthony Hopkins) believes that 11-year-old schoolgirl Ivy Templeton (Susan Swift) is the reincarnation of his daughter, who was burnt alive in a car wreck. Is he a nutter? Ivy's parents (Marsha Mason and John Beck) think so… at first.

IMDb categorises Audrey Rose as horror, and the film is listed in my trusty Aurum Encyclopedia of Horror, but it's not in the least bit scary, shocking, or disturbing: the only freaky thing about the whole film is the titular character's 'Crazy Frog' expression, all bug eyes and manic grin. Rather than a sense of fear, all I felt was irritation every time the girl cried, whimpered or screamed, or gave the camera one of her unconvincing smiles or vacant looks of bewilderment.

As if Swift's performance wasn't grating enough, the rest of the cast seem to do their utmost to compete: John Beck's character is a total asshole, Mason's histrionics are hard to bear, and Anthony Hopkins adds to the overall annoyance with his repetitious calling of his little girl's name in an attempt to soothe her. Audrey Rose! Audrey Rose! Audrey F**ing Rose! Aaaaarrrggggh! Put a sock in it, Hopkins!

The final straws that broke this camel's back were the dull 'made-for-TV movie-of-the-week' direction and the choppy editing, the film jumping awkwardly from one scene to another. All told, this is a weak effort, horror or not!
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