Review of Hatchet II

Hatchet II (2010)
5/10
Average-at-best slasher flick with plenty of gore.
27 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Marybeth Dunston (Danielle Harris) goes to Honey Island Swamp to search for her missing gator hunter daddy and her brother and runs afoul of Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder). After jabbing out his eye with her finger, she makes her way to a shack where Jack Cracker (John Carl Buechler) takes her in. That is, until he learns her last name. He then kicks her out and tells her to go see Clive Washington aka Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd). As Jack sits down to watch footage from "Bayou Beavers," Victor barges in, rips his intestines out and then uses then to strangle him and pop off his head. Afterward, Marybeth goes to see the Reverend and learns all about the curse of the Crowley family... and how her father was one of three kids responsible for setting the Crowley shack on fire, leading to the death of young Victor. As a result, his ghost has haunted the swamp ever since.

Seeking vengeance for her family's murders, Marybeth strikes up a deal with Zombie: He'll have his assistant Justin (Parry Shen; playing the brother of the character he played in the original) organize a posse of hunters if she gets her uncle to come along on the expedition. Marybeth comes through on her end of the deal by convincing her Uncle Bob (Tom Holland, best known as the director of FRIGHT NIGHT and CHILD'S PLAY) to come, as does the Reverend, who's able to convince a handful of people to accompany them by promising 500 dollars just for coming and an additional 5000 for anyone who's able to "kill" Crowley. Kill a ghost? Yeah, I know. R.A. Mihailoff (Leatherface from TCM III) and AJ Bowen (THE SIGNAL) are among those along for the ride. The gang take their boats deep into the swamp where they're slaughtered in various ridiculous ways by the hulking, monstrous Crowley.

This both looks and feels much cheaper than the first and that's no big surprise considering the original was shot on 35mm film for 1.5 million, while this one was shot on digital for half that budget. Still, this manages to make a few slight improvements. For starters, the obnoxious, childish comedy elements have been toned down a bit here, which, in my opinion, is a good thing. Second, there's a nice flashback sequence explaining the origins of the killer. And third, Tony Todd gets to play a leading role this time out and, as per his usual, does a great job holding things together. Harris, on the other hand, I did not like. Her character is pretty grating, one-note and shrill and her come-and-go Southern accent (I THINK that's what she was shooting for at least) is terrible. The rest of the cast is so-so, though Colton Dunn deserves a special shout-out for being pretty amusing in his small part.

But let's get real here, the target audience isn't really going to care much about the dialogue, plot, acting or production values: they've come here for the gore, and this delivers on that front. The director seems especially fond of head and face mutilations. There's a face sliced off, a face chopped to a bloody pulp, a face smashed to a bloody pulp, a face chopped to bits by an outboard motor and a head getting sanded down (and then smashed in) with a belt sander. Green also lets his inner 11-year-old out with "funny" murders like a guy getting decapitated while screwing his ex-girlfriend, a girl getting a hatchet buried in her ass and two guys getting their crotches simultaneously chewed up with the most comically big chainsaw you'll ever see.

There are lots of film references, in-jokes and cameos here, too. Emma Bell and Shawn Ashmore (two of the stars of the director's FROZEN) both show up for second-long cameos, a few of the actresses from the first HATCHET are seen in handy cam footage and, during the hunter's meeting, you can spot genre directors Lloyd Kaufman, Ryan Schifrin, Dave Parker and Mike Mendez. Green also gives himself a cameo puking up some creamed corn on a street corner. A classy fella he is.
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