1/10
Wanted to love it. Sadly, I couldn't
15 February 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I admit, I was disappointed as well.

The trailer for Knights of Badassdom came out in 2011 and I was immediately a fan based on the material present in the trailer. After all, it had three of the most recognizable names of the time: Steve Zahn whose acting chops have been untouchable since his first theatrical appearance, Ryan Kwanten who was staring in one of HBO's biggest episodic dramas; and Peter Dinklage, who at the time had become one of the biggest breakout stars of HBO's newest, most popular episodic drama at the time. Those 3 names alone have made me sit on pins and needles for the last three years waiting the release of this film. The film had all the makings of an awesome movie. So why didn't it deliver?

Anticipation was perhaps the biggest factor that killed this movie. After 3 years and after the rumors and endless failed promises about its release, everyone was expecting more. Four years after shooting principle photography and 3 years of what we now know to be cuts and more cuts to the movie and changes of the original script, we are left with a movie that didn't' live up to its potential, didn't utilize its impressive cast, didn't deliver clever or witty dialog, didn't give depth to its characters and fell flat on an entertaining plot. Instead, it tried to build a plot around stoner humor and failed to really find the sense of fun befitting this wonderful geekfest that is LARP.

The target audience of this movie is obviously anyone who is part of a LARP, SCA, or renaissance festival clan. I, myself, am proudly part of one and I know several hundred people who were anticipating this movie. And while the movie does well in "mapping out" LARP, showing the intensity with which the players get into their characters, the costuming, the weapons, the banners, the trips and even the elaborate nature of our tent cities, the story should have spent more time exploring that side and give it more justice. Instead, it rushed through it as a punch line that never delivered a laugh. I so wanted to like what this movie could have brought to LARP and cosplayers because from what I saw in the trailer, I naturally recognized either myself, my friends and my camp at faire. Instead, I was given more disappointment.

The movie furthermore failed to really deliver purpose and motivation for the characters. I found the motivation of Steve Zahn's character. His purpose was very clear. You know Gunther's motivation, only because his cousin spends 5 minutes of dialog telling the audience. Yet, they are the only ones. Why were the redneck paintballers so against the LARPers? Why did Ronnie know so much history about the spell book? What were the relationships and histories of any of the other LARPers that later showed tension and animosity toward each other? Creating a history based on catching another nerd masturbating is not even trying in the writing department. It's uninspired and quite frankly, is probably the oldest nerd joke in the book.

And the body count. Beware, this paragraph contains spoilers. The biggest mistake the story made was killing Peter Dinklage's character. Of course, this movie was filmed BEFORE he became a household name and before he was nominated for every acting award in television. But I felt very little when his underdeveloped character was killed other than the fact that the movie was going to start going south very quickly for killing one of the best actors on the cast. Hind sight is 20/20, so unfortunately the director and writers wouldn't have known what a mistake it would have been to kill him at that point. So, there's not much else I can say about that. However, the remainder of the gore was very unnecessary. I understand if the succubus was going to kill a few to create the sense of evil, but it should have been better used to the advantage of the story as a whole. An entire LARP community is wiped out in 20 minutes. If that's not insulting to nerds, I don't know what is. And who survives? The hot guy and the hot girl who had no real interest in LARP (and were practically dragged there in the first place) and their nerdy friend who is independently wealthy and lives in the suburbs in a house with a castle façade. What is the underlying message the movie is trying to deliver in killing every LARPer present? Seriously, that was the best they could come up with?

And lastly, the special effects and ending….cheesy, laughable, pathetic. When Ryan Kwanten's character started singing at the end to defeat the daemon, I wanted to turn it off. There simply are no other words to describe how horrible the ending was. And the coda at the end was pointless.

Believe me, I spent three years waiting on this movie. Three years wanting to like it and told all my friends about it. I promoted it when our local theatre wanted to present a special showing of it. I planned to have a viewing party built around it. Luckily a friend bought the YouTube download of it and let me watch it ahead of time. Maybe you get what you paid for.

Disappointed. Simply disappointed.
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