2/10
They all looked pretty dead to begin with
14 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Sometimes it's hard to tell the living from the dead, like when hammy actors are stuck in a slowly oozing wreck of a horror flick. For almost all of this godawful mess, we're treated to the filming of a horror-movie-within-a-horror-movie at some dump of a mansion. I don't know which is worse, the outside movie or the inside movie.

Finally, to end the insufferable boredom, a zombie or two - it's tough to keep track - wanders into the mansion at molasses speed and finishes everybody off. For good measure one of the zombies - I'm not sure which, and neither was the scriptwriter - hauls the blonde and freshly deceased ingénue off to the grave with him. They live coldly ever after. The other zombie apparently doesn't get any nookie for his efforts.

A few particularly hammy bits, especially from the movie-with-a-movie's dictatorial director John Ireland, are so goofy that they save this hunk of junk from the dreaded one-rating. But it's a long slow wait between the sort of entertaining bits. Any decent zombie would tell you to avoid the waste of time.
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