Prophecy (1979)
4/10
More Of Guilt Trip Than A Film
3 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
John Frankenheimer was once a highly regarded film director in the 1960s and 70s with themes such politics , identity and existentialism being running themes . If there was one film that sank his career then it would be PROPHECY , a horror film I vivedly remember as being heavily trailed on television at the time and a film that made me wish I was old enough to watch X certificates at the cinema . Over the years PROPHECY gained a reputation as being one of the worst films to be made by an A list director but I tend not to listen to critics too much and decided to make up my own mind . When I finally it I decided there's maybe a good reason why critics get paid to watch movies . When you see a film like PROPHECY you start thinking that no matter how much the critics get paid then it's not nearly enough

At first glance someone like Frankenheimer seems an odd choice to direct a mere horror movie but within the first ten minutes you realise this isn't a horror movie - it's a manifesto for the bleeding heart dogooder party . Within the space of three scenes we've had a lumberjack massacre , freedom of right for abortion and rich people are racist money grabbers crammed in to a film . It's not subtext , it's sententious screaming that's supposed to make you run in to the street and apologise to anyone who has a different skin colour or has less money than you have . Considering the two protagonists spewing the guilt trip party manifesto are a medical doctor and his cello playing wife one might accuse the film of hypocrisy . Maybe the film's original was in fact Hypocrisy and not PROPHECY ?

The ineptness of the film making continues as does the double standards. Now that we've established that rich people are ba dwe have a scene where a dog is harnessed to a helicopter . " What's happening there ? " asks Dr Dogooder who is informed a bunch of lumberjacks have disappeared and the dog is the only survivor . Is it explained why it's dangling from the copter ? No but I suppose it's supposed to illustrate that people don't treat animals as well as they should , which foershadows the rest of the film meaning PETA won't firebomb any cinemas it's getting shown in . Then we get to meet the noble Native American who are of course played by Americans of Italian descent who get set upon by nasty white lumberjacks

If by any chance you've either switched off by this point or more likely fallen in to a coma we find out that the logging process has caused a bear to turn in to what Leonard Maltin has described as " A giant salami" . So at this point you might want to become a vegetarian . Or at the very least not bother watching any films with an ecological subtext

That said PROPHECY contains one of the greatest scenes in the history of cinema . This happens when an all American family are camping in the woods , or more accurately a film studio resembling woodland when they're attacked by the giant salami . Unable to escape from his sleeping bag - how difficult is it to unzip a sleeping bag I wonder ? - a young teenage boy hops anbout the studio when he's slapped by the salami , flys across the studio floor where he hits a polystyrene rock and explodes in to a cloud of feathers . If nothing else this gets the film a couple of more points than it genuinely deserves
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