Not that the concept of a teenage slasher musical is stupid or anything! The acting was awful. The writing was awful. The directing wasn't awful only because there didn't appear to be any. The photography was acceptable in the sense that most of the movie was in focus. So far, this pretty much describes any teenage slasher movie. The real awfulness that sets this one apart is the music. It is indescribable. The songs turn up, for no apparent reason, about every five minutes and they are atrocious. They have lyrics like "I breathe every breath for me!" I'm glad the kid understands the physiology of breathing, but does he have to sing about it? It's hard to comment on the score because the teenagers are absolutely unable to play any musical instrument (except for the blind kid whose electric bass works just fine in the forest, as if by magic)and are even less able to carry a tune. I would think that a random sample of kids off the street would contain at least one who could carry a tune. Not this sample! The casting director had to go out of his way to find kids who couldn't sing a note. Why did I watch? The same reason people are fascinated by train wrecks, I guess. I couldn't look away. It really, really was that awful!
Review of Don't Go in the Woods
