Too Boring to Watch
27 June 2012
Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)

* (out of 4)

The Asylum's "mockbuster" of ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER finds Honest Abe (Bill Oberst, Jr.) having to fight some Confederate zombies. If that seems light on a plot description then you might want to stay away from this film because that's pretty much all there is. You know, many people attack companies like The Asylum for not having any fresh or original ideas of their own but I've always given them a fair shot. I mean, if we were in the 50s or 70s then the drive-in would have been playing these types of movies each and every weekend. With that said, the biggest sin any movie like this could make is to be boring and that's exactly what has happened here. I think there could have been so many interesting ideas that could have been done in regards to Lincoln going up against zombies. Just take a look at how many lives were lost in the war on Lincoln's command, a film about them coming back from revenge would be interesting. The dead from the war coming back to help win it could have been interesting. What we got here is just downright boring on a number of levels but I think the film was just too silly to be taken serious and it wasn't nearly campy enough to keep you entertained. As you'd expect, the CGI effects were all extremely cheap and the fake gore was just painful. The performances weren't too bad and while Oberst gave a good performance I'd say I still had a hard time believing he was really the president (unlike the real movie). It is funny to note that even though this came out a month before the "real" movie, this here actually featured several scenes that were quite similar so I don't know if that was just a coincidence or what. Either way, ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES is a complete bust and not worth watching even with a free rental.
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