Kamui Gaiden (2009)
Silly beyond the point of redemption
20 June 2011
After reading the other (positive) reviews, I am still unclear what redeeming qualities this film (purportedly) has. I am particularly boggled by the fact that some of the previous reviewers argued that the film was worth a watch or even deserved to be considered a "classic" (really?) without supplying any explanations or actual reasons, nor provide a comparison between this film and other films in the same genre (although, in what genre would this film really belong? 'Trashbin flicks'?). In fact, I wonder if we actually sat through the same film.

To provide a quick synopsis, the film has a premise (a rogue ninja hunted by other ninjas, trying to find a 'safe harbour'), but no plot. The story meanders through a series of cliché scenes with predictable outcomes, occasionally interrupted by people flying on wires performing 'special moves' that needed a narrator's help to explain (I guess if you like being treated as an idiot, this film might be for you...), ridiculous twists with nonsensical motivations, and animal cruelty that even I--someone not anything close to being a card-carrying member of PETA--found rather distasteful.

At some point, the only way to rationalize why we continue to subject ourselves to this filmatic torture was to find some small solace in nit-picking the technical errors and nonsensical development of the story. For example, I don't think the writer actually understood -how- crucifixion works as a form of capital punishment (puncturing the prisoner's body actually works to undermine its effects), and I particularly didn't think it was good parenting to have your 14 old year daughter take off her cloth and use her body to warm a stranger of sketchy background.

I've never read the manga, and after watching this film, I have no desire to. So if translating the manga into film was intended to extend and expand the franchise, it's failed to do that with me. I am not sure how anyone but the most fervent fans of the manga series might find this film appealing. If you have an attention span of longer than 3 minutes, I recommend you avoid this mess altogether.
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