I'm obsessed with bad movies. I've watched a lot of them. Some of them I enjoy, and some I don't. But the movies that I've seen by Bill Rebane are inevitably the ones that just make me mad. The reason is that pretty much every other film maker out there, when making a movie, tries to make some kind of sense, or at least be artistic. I don't get that sense with Bill Rebane movies. I get the sense that his movies are written and filmed completely at random with no thought for what an audience might think about it. It's really odd.
So let me see if I can summarize the plot. We start out with a rhyming narration by Suck- tor Seuss, who explains to us that there are some millionaires who do random games. Then there's a completely pointless, bizarrely exploitative dance sequence. Then there's some talking and a spider shows up. We meet our annoying cast of characters and fail to care about them. There's a hunchback. Then a bunch of stuff happens. Throughout the rest of the film, things happen and it looks like people are dying. Some seem to die by human action, some by traps, and one by a weird monster. One turns out to be a cop and there's something about a madman. Then it turns out everyone's okay and some are working for the millionaire, including the pointless hunchback. Then they're not. And then the millionaires get betrayed and die. But then they don't. And even the omniscient narrator doesn't have a clue about what's going on. A bad sign for the audience.
If that sounds confusing, the movie's worse. For one thing, that description doesn't have the actors the movie does. The Cold also suffers from a weird lack of knowledge about what it wants to be. It just comes off as a random sequence of scenes, most of which go nowhere. I don't know how to compare it to Bill Rebane's other films. All I know is that it's terrible.
So let me see if I can summarize the plot. We start out with a rhyming narration by Suck- tor Seuss, who explains to us that there are some millionaires who do random games. Then there's a completely pointless, bizarrely exploitative dance sequence. Then there's some talking and a spider shows up. We meet our annoying cast of characters and fail to care about them. There's a hunchback. Then a bunch of stuff happens. Throughout the rest of the film, things happen and it looks like people are dying. Some seem to die by human action, some by traps, and one by a weird monster. One turns out to be a cop and there's something about a madman. Then it turns out everyone's okay and some are working for the millionaire, including the pointless hunchback. Then they're not. And then the millionaires get betrayed and die. But then they don't. And even the omniscient narrator doesn't have a clue about what's going on. A bad sign for the audience.
If that sounds confusing, the movie's worse. For one thing, that description doesn't have the actors the movie does. The Cold also suffers from a weird lack of knowledge about what it wants to be. It just comes off as a random sequence of scenes, most of which go nowhere. I don't know how to compare it to Bill Rebane's other films. All I know is that it's terrible.