The Convent (2000)
8/10
Bargain bin masterpiece
9 March 2011
Hell yeah! That's pretty much the feeling the average person will have throughout this compact and action-filled piece of garbage. It's an incredibly crazy, riveting and somewhat moronic 75 minutes, it's the kind of project that defines what B-list horror should be all about. The hilarious (in a sadistic way) opening immediately drags you in, and the movie just utterly refuses to let you go after that. Demonic zombie nuns, fluorescent(!) blood, hot chicks, washed-up gangsta rapper Coolio playing a cop, I thank God for showing me all this pure uncut greatness. If all this stuff can't get your attention, I really don't know what will. The Adrienne Barbeau appearance is just icing on the cake, brilliant role. Of course this movie isn't particularly well-made or well-written, but I stopped caring roughly ten seconds in. Loads of fun.
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