Review of Horsemen

Horsemen (2009)
5/10
Staple horror and thoroughly generic
1 August 2009
By-the-numbers gore flick isn't especially bad, but sterile acting and disjointed direction hinder it entirely.

Dennis Quaid (gloriously miscast) is Aidan Breslin, a detective specialising in some teeth identification discipline. He's called to a case whereby teeth alone have been left, and the more the case heats up, he discovers the Horsemen of the Apocalypse are being emulated and murdering victims in 'homage' to them.

The premise is certainly half decent, with a biblical reference always adding spice to horror, such is the visceral underbelly such association can produce. The problem is the production and casting, not to mention plot development.

Horsemen suffers a disjointed structure, with extremely poor characterisation and seam-filled editing causing a stop-start judder to permeate throughout. This isn't helped by the fact that every role is miscast, from the 'doing it for the money' Quaid as troubled Breslin, Ziyi Zhang as troubled Kristen, and Lou Taylor Pucci as troubled Alex.

Every character appears to have personal demons apart from Stingray and Tuck, who both look like actors in the wrong movie.

These foibles aside the horror effects are rather inconsistent - the first body looks plainly like a dummy, and no amount of garish red lighting hides that fact - thereafter they do pick up a bit, but it's a bad start.

And the characterisation, as mentioned, is really poor - the viewer isn't moved to care about anyone, and certain character introductions are clunky and badly handled. The feeble and ineffective acting certainly doesn't aid this.

In summary if you want horror by the numbers with a hint of whodunnit, there are worse than Horsemen. But there are much much better too.
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