Review of Meteor

Meteor (2009)
3/10
Did adults write this?
26 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I'm usually not this rough on a show, but boy, this seemed like a lot of money given over to amateur movie makers. This so bad, it should actually be studied by film making classes - almost everything that can go wrong has gone wrong in this movie.

I'm not even sure how to relay how bad this was ... but maybe some examples may help:

1) The old "oops - we ran out of gas" routine was used "twice" to advance two different story lines - can you imagine how bad that looked?

2) The fate of the world hinges on info about to be relayed over a cell phone, but just then, the car enters a mountainous area and loses cell reception (I guess backing up is more annoying than saving life on the planet) ... and then eventually runs out of gas. Of course, they're really out of luck now, but ... miraculously, the cell phone starts ringing.

3) A big bad guy named Dwight, who's ready shoot people AND police with terrorist grade weaponry, turns into a puppy dog after the sheriff tells him to "think about it" (which takes him all of 8 seconds).

4) Life on earth hinges on the calculations of a 20-something year old girl running around with a laptop. Her qualifications? She's an "assistant" to a scientist. If they told us that she at least had some sort of credentials, that would have helped - but they didn't.

5) The "bad guy's never really dead" routine is taken to the extreme. One of the main characters of this story is beyond stupid: instead of killing a guy who has been on a murderous rampage (which almost included his daughter), he puts him in the back seat of his car in mickey-mouse handcuffs ... go figure. It doesn't end there either - there's so much more brainless decision-making involving the bad guy, you eventually want the bad guy to rid the world of "good-guy" morons.

6) There's so much incredible dialog ... check this out - the girl wants to use the phone after the wireless lines go down:

Man: $50 for the phone.

Girl: That's ridiculous. I'm a scientist.

She's a scientist??? Oh, OK - I guess that means she's either a superior being or that she's looking for the super-saver rate for scientists. Geeze.

I could go on, but it's so nuts it's almost epic. If you're aching for a disaster movie and have absolutely nothing else available, see it only if you have fast-forward capability. It'll save you some of the torture.
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