Review of S. Darko

S. Darko (2009)
1/10
I just had one thought running through my head while watching this . . .
2 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I just had one thought running through my head while watching this . . .WTF? Seriously, that was pretty much the only thought running through my head as I watched this movie. Every time something happened, I thought, WTF does that have to do with anything? And I don't mean that the movie is mysterious, I mean there's a lot that just doesn't make any sense.

Okay, Donnie Darko is my favorite movie of all time. Even after watching Donnie Darko the first time I didn't quite understand everything that happened in it, I was wondering why certain things happened and how some things affected other events. So the first time I watched Donnie Darko I was also wondering: WTF? But even with that I still understood the idea that Donnie went through this whole movie so that in the end he would sacrifice himself for the sake of the world. (It also made me obsessed with Mad World).

Having said that I don't understand what the whole point S Darko really was. In S. Darko, (Here comes the spoilers, but trust me it may be better to read about it than to actually waste your time watching it) the whole thing starts when a dead version of Samantha appears before a man who goes by "Iraq Jack" and tells him that the world is going to end. (Another messed up thing about Iraq Jack? He's the grandson to Roberta Sparrow, what bearing that has to do with anything? I have no clue).

Anyways, Iraq Jack gets obsessed with the dead version of Samantha (and even more messed up is that Samantha apparently turns into her dead self at night when she sees a glowing feather . . .WTF?) So this dead version of Samantha tells him that the world is going to end, and he goes about making a mask that is supposed to replicate the look of Frank the Rabbit from the first movie, apparently she shows him a drawing that Donnie did of Frank the Rabbit and he creates a mask that looks like the drawing.

Now . . .There's a problem with that. Okay, Donnie first meets Frank the Rabbit on the night when the Tangent Universe opens when Frank calls him outside to avoid being killed by the jet engine. When he goes back into time to save the world, he goes back to exactly the same night that he was called outside and therefore the tangent universe never opens. So, unless he decided to randomly draw Frank the Rabbit while waiting for the engine to crush him (Oh, and storing it somewhere in his room where it won't get ruined by the said jet engine), that drawing shouldn't exist. (Except, of course, the sketches that Frank had, but I doubt that he knew Samantha well enough to give her a copy).

So anyways, he creates the mask that invariably kills Samantha later on (which actually Samantha dies twice in this movie, but I won't get into that too much, because the first time is actually quite pointless). So now, the world is coming to an end, Samantha is dead, and the dead version of her springs Iraq Jack from jail so that he could go back into time and die by the meteorite.

Okay, so they're pretty much replacing Donnie with Iraq Jack (who happens to be Roberta Sparrows grandson, but really, who cares?). Here's the problem with that, Donnie was a pretty messed up kid, but the experiences he goes through in the movie moves the audience to feel for him when he does actually die. This doesn't work for Iraq Jack, because quite frankly no one cares about him. Seriously, the only shots you see of him are him rambling like a lunatic, or him digging through trash, or other random shots of him talking to the dead Samantha.

No one cares for him, the audience doesn't care about him, so when he does die (smiling and waving at the meteorite like an idiot) it doesn't have any effect on the audience. It's like watching someone step on an insect, no one cares.

That's just the main plot, but then you have some other stuff in the movie that's just completely inane. Like, for instance, this random rash that (I don't even remember what the name of the character was, seriously he was that unimportant) some dude got from the meteorite, that apparently ate away at his skin and also made him super aggressive. WTF? Here's another thing that didn't quite make sense. Samantha has the Philosophy of Time Travel book. . .Why? For those that don't know or maybe for some reason or another might have forgotten, Donnie receives the book from Dr. Monnitoff, his science teacher, when he starts asking him about time travel. His inquiries are all brought on by the fact that Frank the Rabbit talked to him about time travel, so if Donnie went back in time to the point where the tangent universe opened and died, he never received the book. So that means that Dr. Monnitoff should still have it (or if you go to the Donnie Darko website you find out that it was actually given to the Library of Congress Rare Books Division after Dr. Monnitoff died in a car accident.) These are just some of the things that I've noticed, but right now I don't think I could continue to rant about this movie. I think instead I'm going to find Nathan Atkins (the guy that wrote the screenplay for S Darko) and I'm going to get a refund for what I believe 2 hours of my life wasted on his piece of crap movie is worth.

Don't waste your time.
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