The Postman (1997)
Superficial Epic in the key of "too damn long"
28 August 2008
This is the type of film I absolutely despise. The Postman is a nice little sci-fi parable that wants to be epic so much that it forgets the word "subtlety." It presents itself as epic far beyond historical epics, beyond sword and sorcery epics. Yes, we have reached the definition of "epic" as applied in comic books. "Here he comes to save the day! It's the Postman!" No, Kevin Costner doesn't fly or wear a cape. Not in the literal sense. He does come eerily close at times, however. At one point a boy holds out a letter – holding it up towards the heavens from an ultra-low angle (a la a comic book frame) – as the Postman rides at full gallop (in slow motion) past the kid and snatches his letter up. Later, Costner flies – er, "rides" – in a cable car across a river so he can pose for the uplifting montage where hope is spread across the land.

You can feel every inch of the celluloid about to break a blood vessel in its intense strain to touch the audience (or impress the Oscar voters.) It's quite disheartening when the story is quite the stroke of genius and quite capable of standing on its own without all the dramatic posturing, thank you very much. In true sci-fi form, David Brin exploits a mundane aspect of everyday life and uses the unthinkable as the salvation for a scattered and dying race. In a post-apocalyptic world where most technology (and with it, long range communication/transportation) has fallen, governments have collapsed, a simple letter reaching its destination inspires an entire town which in turn inspires a revolution.

So, my question is: why the hell is this movie so eager to run over this brilliant concept for the sake of the hackneyed spectacle that is its presentation? Early in the film (okay, about 45 minutes into this 3 hour journey) Costner swears in Ford L. Mercury as a fellow postman. Costner, of course, only stumbled upon the Postman uniform by accident and wore it because he was cold, wet, and the skeleton didn't need it anymore. Thus, he's a fraud standing face to face with an aspiring lad who wants to be a post man just like him! So in typical Hollywood fashion Costner makes up a story in the typically awkward and unconvincing delivery that such scenes require; he eventually swears the lad in with an oath he reads off the engraving on a nearby wall … and Costner quite blatantly reads it off the board. In a comedy, I'd of gone with it and laughed. In this movie, I wanted Ford to – I dunno – notice and call him on it.

In fact, when all the sheep were following this horrible liar, and when the audience should be touched by the good-heartedness of the film's intentions, I just wanted someone to say, "Hey pal! You're full of crap! Get the hell out!" and actually stick to his guns. Yes, I rooted and cheered for the Sheriff of Pineview right up until he pulled out a letter in a dramatic after thought, after which I started counting the Hollywood gimmicks.

In all fairness, many films I like fall victim to these same contrivances without complaint. It's simply amazing how much these things bug you when you're no longer on board.
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