I don't think I will be giving away any of the plot because there actually is no plot.
I'll start off by saying that the previous three Indiana Jones movies are my favorite movies of all time. When I heard about the fourth one I was excited but thought they should have left it alone because the third one ended the trilogy so perfectly. However, I went to this movie with enthusiam and I really really wanted to like it. Afterwards I figured out that was impossible.
I thought the movie would be cheapened by Shia's character or the fact that Indy's character would be about 20 years older. Those were actually some of the very few things that were actually good about this movie. Shia gave a good performance and I actually liked his character. They also did a good job of transitioning to an older Indiana.
But the movie just got ridiculous. It started alright as he is escaping the Russians which had invaded a warehouse in Area 51. However, once he escaped they threw in a completely pointless scene. Which, and wait til you hear this one, is that Indiana stumbles upon a mock town set up in Nevada to judge the effects of an Atomic Bomb at, of course, the time of the test. So in order to escape, he jumps into a refrigerator, which they point out is lead lined (will that really help), right before the explosion hits. He is then tossed a few miles in this, outside of the blast area. The door stays closed, he isn't injured while being thrown in this thing at all and feels no ill effects of radiation... YUP.
The middle was alright, with some cool chase scenes, decent dialogue, and a cool jungle chase scene with vehicle to vehicle fighting. Indiana did very little of the fighting, and none of it if you exclude hand to hand combat. One of the few bright spots was Shia doing the fighting instead of Indiana.
But everything else was terrible. There was an incredibly boring part where they find the skull. Let me summarize that. They find the ruins it is hidden in. They walk through the ruins. They find the skull. And it only got worse from there.
After the cool chase scene in the Jungle they escape gigantic ants by a really creepy guy holding the skull in front of them. Then they drive the car (which is also a boat... yeah, I know) off a cliff, but their landing (which is of course in a river) is cushioned by a huge tree that they hit and bends them down to place them gently in the water (Seriously). They then fall off 3 massive water falls, the 5 characters, in this car/boat (that has a jagged glass windshield at this point), and land in the car safely the first two times, and then just each in the water safely after the third one (Seriously, Im gonna say that a lot).
Oh! Then they find the entrance to the temple / city thing they are looking for. I couldn't have imagined anything less cool. After simply walking through this they get out the other side to find the city but realize they are being chased by some native people (which aren't explained at all). And how do they survive this, the creepy guy points the skull at them, gee they didn't do this before. Then they get to the middle of the city and break off some things to drain the middle structure of the sand that is in it, then have to quickly run down a circular stair cast that is going away as they run (Which is why Disney should be suing since this was stolen from National Treasure).
OK, at this point you're thinking "well this hasn't been that good, but they've reached the temple, the movie can be saved because here comes the cool part! Here comes the action and the interesting plot that brings it all together." That couldn't be more incorrect.
Here's how I will summarize that part to give it all the credit it deserves. Indiana (and group) walk, yes I said walk (nothing else), through the temple. Creepy guy who doesn't talk carries skull and points it at a door (gee they didn't do the pointing the skull thing before). Indiana holds it up to the door, it opens. Yup, there's your big ACTION / ADVENTURE.
AND THEN... They find a room of 13 ALIENS, made completely OUT OF CRYSTAL, but aren't alive. The Russians walk, take the skull and the woman places it on the NECK OF THE LAST ALIEN. The room then STARTS SPINNING UNCONTROLLABLE. Indiana and his group dive out. The aliens then JOIN TO CREATE ONE LIVE ALIEN and use their mind powers to EVAPORATE THE Russian WOMAN. Then Indiana (and group) run out of the temple. No, no real action unless you consider him begging his friend that has betrayed him twice to come with and not to waste time taking treasure action (he dies, just like the mummy, lawsuit?). After they get out by sitting in a WATER CANNON THAT BLASTS THEM OUT they witness the city TURN INTO A FLYING SAUCER THAT ZIPS AWAY! Yup! It really is that ridiculous. They then play some incredibly lame thing about how the gift was knowledge in writing that is on the same level as Anakin's reasoning for going to the dark side in Star Wars Ep 3. After that Indiana marries, yes marries, Marion (girl from the first one) because Shia's character is really their kid. And then they do another lame transition of how he is going to be the next Indiana Jones by Indy's hat being blown almost into his hands by the wind right before Harrison Ford snatches it and walks out.
I'll start off by saying that the previous three Indiana Jones movies are my favorite movies of all time. When I heard about the fourth one I was excited but thought they should have left it alone because the third one ended the trilogy so perfectly. However, I went to this movie with enthusiam and I really really wanted to like it. Afterwards I figured out that was impossible.
I thought the movie would be cheapened by Shia's character or the fact that Indy's character would be about 20 years older. Those were actually some of the very few things that were actually good about this movie. Shia gave a good performance and I actually liked his character. They also did a good job of transitioning to an older Indiana.
But the movie just got ridiculous. It started alright as he is escaping the Russians which had invaded a warehouse in Area 51. However, once he escaped they threw in a completely pointless scene. Which, and wait til you hear this one, is that Indiana stumbles upon a mock town set up in Nevada to judge the effects of an Atomic Bomb at, of course, the time of the test. So in order to escape, he jumps into a refrigerator, which they point out is lead lined (will that really help), right before the explosion hits. He is then tossed a few miles in this, outside of the blast area. The door stays closed, he isn't injured while being thrown in this thing at all and feels no ill effects of radiation... YUP.
The middle was alright, with some cool chase scenes, decent dialogue, and a cool jungle chase scene with vehicle to vehicle fighting. Indiana did very little of the fighting, and none of it if you exclude hand to hand combat. One of the few bright spots was Shia doing the fighting instead of Indiana.
But everything else was terrible. There was an incredibly boring part where they find the skull. Let me summarize that. They find the ruins it is hidden in. They walk through the ruins. They find the skull. And it only got worse from there.
After the cool chase scene in the Jungle they escape gigantic ants by a really creepy guy holding the skull in front of them. Then they drive the car (which is also a boat... yeah, I know) off a cliff, but their landing (which is of course in a river) is cushioned by a huge tree that they hit and bends them down to place them gently in the water (Seriously). They then fall off 3 massive water falls, the 5 characters, in this car/boat (that has a jagged glass windshield at this point), and land in the car safely the first two times, and then just each in the water safely after the third one (Seriously, Im gonna say that a lot).
Oh! Then they find the entrance to the temple / city thing they are looking for. I couldn't have imagined anything less cool. After simply walking through this they get out the other side to find the city but realize they are being chased by some native people (which aren't explained at all). And how do they survive this, the creepy guy points the skull at them, gee they didn't do this before. Then they get to the middle of the city and break off some things to drain the middle structure of the sand that is in it, then have to quickly run down a circular stair cast that is going away as they run (Which is why Disney should be suing since this was stolen from National Treasure).
OK, at this point you're thinking "well this hasn't been that good, but they've reached the temple, the movie can be saved because here comes the cool part! Here comes the action and the interesting plot that brings it all together." That couldn't be more incorrect.
Here's how I will summarize that part to give it all the credit it deserves. Indiana (and group) walk, yes I said walk (nothing else), through the temple. Creepy guy who doesn't talk carries skull and points it at a door (gee they didn't do the pointing the skull thing before). Indiana holds it up to the door, it opens. Yup, there's your big ACTION / ADVENTURE.
AND THEN... They find a room of 13 ALIENS, made completely OUT OF CRYSTAL, but aren't alive. The Russians walk, take the skull and the woman places it on the NECK OF THE LAST ALIEN. The room then STARTS SPINNING UNCONTROLLABLE. Indiana and his group dive out. The aliens then JOIN TO CREATE ONE LIVE ALIEN and use their mind powers to EVAPORATE THE Russian WOMAN. Then Indiana (and group) run out of the temple. No, no real action unless you consider him begging his friend that has betrayed him twice to come with and not to waste time taking treasure action (he dies, just like the mummy, lawsuit?). After they get out by sitting in a WATER CANNON THAT BLASTS THEM OUT they witness the city TURN INTO A FLYING SAUCER THAT ZIPS AWAY! Yup! It really is that ridiculous. They then play some incredibly lame thing about how the gift was knowledge in writing that is on the same level as Anakin's reasoning for going to the dark side in Star Wars Ep 3. After that Indiana marries, yes marries, Marion (girl from the first one) because Shia's character is really their kid. And then they do another lame transition of how he is going to be the next Indiana Jones by Indy's hat being blown almost into his hands by the wind right before Harrison Ford snatches it and walks out.