Review of Apache

Apache (1954)
3/10
Amazingly bad and silly
22 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This film is just silly and not worth your time. One of the biggest reasons was the wretched decision to cast the 6' tall and blue-gray eyed Burt Lancaster as an American Indian!! Unfortunately, this silly miscasting was common in the 30s-50s, as the likes of Rock Hudson and Kent Smith also played Indians (among MANY others).

Now if you can ignore the silly and racially insensitive casting, you still probably will hate the film because of the horrible writing. The story is supposedly about a real-life Indian ("Massai"), but the story bears little similarity to him. The biggest problem is that Massai is a hero in the film, but according to IMDb he was not just a murderer but a rapist--hardly the stuff of heroes!! Also, the film ends in the most ridiculous fashion. After Massai shoots at least two of his people, only minutes later, those trying to subdue him just let him walk away--yet he just killed two people!!!! Even if you are sympathetic to his cause, why not disarm him or at least give him a strong scolding for the killings!?

If you can ignore the dumb casting, dumb mis-telling of Massai's life and dumb ending, can you enjoy the rest of the film? Well, no...you can't. That's because it purports to be a romance between Massai and Nalinle, it's about the least romantic pairing in film history! For his part, Massai treats Nalinle like dirt and she follows him like a whipped puppy. There is no love or chemistry. But to make it worse, I just wish the couple would have used a few pronouns!! Hearing Nalinle talking to Massai and referring to him as "Massai" (never YOU or even HE), it sounds like a kid in a school play trying to pretend (unconvincingly) that they are Indians.

Dull and dumb--hardly a glowing endorsement!!
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