Abducted by the Daleks caused a bit of a stir in the UK tabloids a while ago: "BEEB bosses have gone ballistic after discovering the Daleks are starring in a PORN FLICK!" wailed one infamous daily.
Well, 'PORN FLICK' is a bit over-the-top for this semi-amateur, made-up-as-they-went-along mix of skin, cheap sets and "borrowed" music.
Right from the start we're made aware of what we're going to be getting. The '50s kitsch opening credits play over a stolen music track (Pink Floyd's 'Arnold Layne') and have jokey Doctor Who influenced crew names (Patrick Baker, Don Skaro).
Plotwise, we have four young women with thick East European accents breaking down in their car on the way to somewhere that may or may not have been mentioned (it wasn't always easy to get past the accents). Oh, there's talk of a "Serial Skinner" loose in the area too, which makes perfect sense when the girls opt to abandon the relative safety of the car to wander around in the darkened woods.
There are plenty of low angles here so we get to look up the girls' meagre dresses, the hemlines of which barely cover their buttocks. One girl is separated for reasons not shown or explained. She hears a strange noise and is understandably very scared, naturally the best thing for her to do at this point is to strip off and resume her wanderings completely naked.
Oh no, her ankle is caught in some undergrowth! Fortunately, the Daleks are watching and relieve her distress by beaming her up to their spaceship (a silver wall with a door). Amusingly, she doesn't seem to catch on for a while, continuing to crouch down and rub her freed ankle for a good ten seconds after she has materialised and been surrounded by alien robots.
So now we get to see the Daleks. Surprisingly, one seems to be a genuine '60s movie Dalek, and I suspect, the original reason to make this video in the first place. Of the other two (yes, they had three!), one is black and gold and a good replica, if too tall, and the third red and black Dalek is too small and too thin around the top. The voices are a passable attempt at copying the ring-modulated originals and the voice actors at least seem to have some idea how a Dalek should sound.
The rest of the plot isn't worth mentioning since half of it escaped me due to the thick accents and garbled voice effects. But you'll be pleased to know that there is a half-hearted lesbian scene (with visible laughing), some equally inspirited s&m, an alien hunter (wearing what looks like an Alfred E. Newman mask), a strobe lighting warning (was it a joke?), some sound FX lifted from Star Trek, more Pink Floyd, a character twist (they needed to replace the actress), and the Skinner himself (a man wearing a bright red shell suit and a cheap joke store alien mask).
Plus, there's an astounding 'shock' twist in the final police station interrogation scene (the only survivor is, of course, still fully naked).
So, it's cheap, and probably filmed in the same time it took to view it. The film-makers knew it, and apparently were confident that people would buy this tat just because it had Daleks and ass in it. On the plus side, it's only 55 minutes, and the night time woodland scenes were nicely set out and atmospherically lit.
I'll leave you with another tabloid quote, this one from "life-long fan" Colin Brown, 44, a man labouring under the impression that the Daleks are real: "It's outrageous to think of them touching up naked women - Daleks just don't behave like that."
Well, 'PORN FLICK' is a bit over-the-top for this semi-amateur, made-up-as-they-went-along mix of skin, cheap sets and "borrowed" music.
Right from the start we're made aware of what we're going to be getting. The '50s kitsch opening credits play over a stolen music track (Pink Floyd's 'Arnold Layne') and have jokey Doctor Who influenced crew names (Patrick Baker, Don Skaro).
Plotwise, we have four young women with thick East European accents breaking down in their car on the way to somewhere that may or may not have been mentioned (it wasn't always easy to get past the accents). Oh, there's talk of a "Serial Skinner" loose in the area too, which makes perfect sense when the girls opt to abandon the relative safety of the car to wander around in the darkened woods.
There are plenty of low angles here so we get to look up the girls' meagre dresses, the hemlines of which barely cover their buttocks. One girl is separated for reasons not shown or explained. She hears a strange noise and is understandably very scared, naturally the best thing for her to do at this point is to strip off and resume her wanderings completely naked.
Oh no, her ankle is caught in some undergrowth! Fortunately, the Daleks are watching and relieve her distress by beaming her up to their spaceship (a silver wall with a door). Amusingly, she doesn't seem to catch on for a while, continuing to crouch down and rub her freed ankle for a good ten seconds after she has materialised and been surrounded by alien robots.
So now we get to see the Daleks. Surprisingly, one seems to be a genuine '60s movie Dalek, and I suspect, the original reason to make this video in the first place. Of the other two (yes, they had three!), one is black and gold and a good replica, if too tall, and the third red and black Dalek is too small and too thin around the top. The voices are a passable attempt at copying the ring-modulated originals and the voice actors at least seem to have some idea how a Dalek should sound.
The rest of the plot isn't worth mentioning since half of it escaped me due to the thick accents and garbled voice effects. But you'll be pleased to know that there is a half-hearted lesbian scene (with visible laughing), some equally inspirited s&m, an alien hunter (wearing what looks like an Alfred E. Newman mask), a strobe lighting warning (was it a joke?), some sound FX lifted from Star Trek, more Pink Floyd, a character twist (they needed to replace the actress), and the Skinner himself (a man wearing a bright red shell suit and a cheap joke store alien mask).
Plus, there's an astounding 'shock' twist in the final police station interrogation scene (the only survivor is, of course, still fully naked).
So, it's cheap, and probably filmed in the same time it took to view it. The film-makers knew it, and apparently were confident that people would buy this tat just because it had Daleks and ass in it. On the plus side, it's only 55 minutes, and the night time woodland scenes were nicely set out and atmospherically lit.
I'll leave you with another tabloid quote, this one from "life-long fan" Colin Brown, 44, a man labouring under the impression that the Daleks are real: "It's outrageous to think of them touching up naked women - Daleks just don't behave like that."