Review of Chaos

Chaos (I) (2005)
Empty exploitation flick.
12 November 2006
Chaos is a film that sets out to show evil, and it succeeds. It shows brutality, torture, death, and rape (in that order) via explicit imagery. Wait, though, because that's not a compliment. The filmmakers have hence patted themselves on the back and continue to congratulate themselves by constantly regurgitating "most brutal movie ever" with every other breath as if repeating it enough makes it true (it's not, and it won't).

Congratulations, you've shown evil … now what are you going to do with it, DeFalco? The answer is nothing. Thus, Chaos ultimately contains nothing beyond its desperate bid to shock its audience. And therein lies the reason not to see the film, and it gives me very little to criticize.

Imagine two grown men, purchasing a new computer, opening the box then declaring, "Mission accomplished. It's installed." What is an obvious step that's not worth the time of most intelligent human beings to mention since it goes without saying, is the stopping point for DeFalco and Bernheim (the director/producer of Chaos). Watch the featurettes on the DVD as these men persist that they've reached a revelation that any idiot figured out way back when Ingmar Bergman made Virgin Springs.

The film is essentially a carbon copy of Wes Craven's Last House on the Left with minor alterations (translation: this exploitation has already been exploited … where are the shocks again?) Girls go out, get involved with the wrong people, find themselves trapped, and suffer at the hands of monsters in human flesh -- and suffer greatly, they do. The two positive changes from Last House being: 1 a relevant title (but did we really need a character named "Chaos"? Oh wait, a Wrestler wrote this … nevermind) and 2 the police are no longer complete incompetent idiots. Bland, racist nobodies, sure.

The meaningless changes? Inconsequential details -- names, exact methods of torture and/or death, number of villains, races of the characters, a pointless new intro to the villains.

Now the negative changes: 1 - the opening crawl laughably out of place on this film, a film that actively seeks to exploit the sufferings of other human beings. Watching, I was reminded of a staple gag to the comedy genre -- you know, the scene where a character is warned in such extreme detail that the audience gets a kick out of said character's silent reaction. This film is that joke, and we are the characters being warned.

Negative change #2 – the film's ridiculous ending is another joke straight out of a comedy. After the Last House chainsaw moment, the father of the victim has Chaos at the business end of his shotgun. In bursts the cops! They raise their guns, issue a warning, and when the father refuses to respond they blow his brains out. After which the wife grabs a gun off one of the cops and shoots the sheriff. The deputy wrestles the gun away. Chaos picks up the father's shotgun and shoots the deputy, and he's in control again. I literally laughed out loud at this scene. Cut out the gore, and this could be a scene for the next Pink Panther film with Steve Martin.

As I said, the film sets out to show evil and, indeed, on the most shallow level evil things happen in the film, complete with effective gore that non-horror fans may have trouble stomaching.

According to DeFalco and Bernheim, that appears to be their entire agenda. To which, I would pose the question, "So, why should I get a picture of evil from you two, when I can go across the horror aisle and get better pictures of evil, more pictures of evil, along with some intelligent observations, commentaries, philosophies, artistic interpretations about said evils for the exact same price?"

Why would I want to buy a t-shirt from you two, when I can get a frickin' car from someone more intelligent?
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