Pirates (2005 Video)
9/10
Beyond compare...
25 June 2006
As far as porn goes, it was great. I don't think anyone will say differently. It's just so ridiculously hilarious. I love how half way through the film, Evan Stone turns into a clueless Captain Kirk. And they ask SO much of the audience. A girl gets kidnapped, she's tied to a chair, forced to have sex with a gypsy, and ends up liking it. I can follow that, no problem. But there's a scene where the captain and his first mate are tied up in a room that's on fire. Then a woman from a previous scene comes in and says that she'll only untie them if the captain makes love to her. So she unties him and he "makes love". Hello? Punch the crazy broad in the face and get out of the building. You don't have time for a sex scene. But there were a few good parts. Take when anyone is about to get it on. There's a little kissing, and BAM! There's a screen push and they're naked. And probably my favorite part, the amount of violence in the girl/girl scenes. At one point I thought it had turned into Ultamite Fighter. And there was another point were some candles are used in a way that I never really thought of before. All in all, you need to see this. I mean, how often do you get to see a porno with a seven figure budget?
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