This film, written, produced and directed by Tony Zarindast (the poor man's Cy Roth), is one of the worst post-1990's movies since "Hobgoblins." Plot goes something like this: A human skeleton with a dog's skull is unearthed on an archaeological dig in the Arizona desert. This event causes two idiots to get into a fight, where one of them is scratched by a bone, and turns into "the least successful werewolf of all-time."
Actually, it wouldn't be fair to use the term "wolf," or any other member of the wolf family, since it resembles more of a bear, a bat, a cat, or a monkey in various incarnations.
During those crucial scenes, Martin Sheen's dumpier, homelier brother, Joe Estevez, make a few cameo appearances, and just like Emilio's career, disappears quickly and mercifully.
While villains Noel (Richard Lynch) and Yuri (George Rivero) take the bones and explains the legend of the Yomiguchi, or "the man who walks around on all fours" to a disinterested audience, dim-witted Natalie (Adrianna Miles-who conjures up vivid memories of Angelika Jager, the bizarrely-accented chick from Season One's "Robot Holocaust"), stands around, dull-eyed with mouth agape, uttering lines like, "This is fascinating," and "You and Paul is a weer-wilf."
Halfway through the film, two more inane characters appear, Paul (Fred Cavalli), who looks like Andy Kaufman's "foreign guy," and a goofy, bearded clown named "Sam the Keeper," who is a cross between Fidel Castro and Santa.
At a party, Paul humiliates Yuri, so, in revenge, the latter gets a security guard drunk and turns him into a lycanthrope, who crashes his car into a pile of oil drums. Later, Paul proves his ultimate effeminacy by being beat up by Yuri, hit with the canine cranium, and transforming into the second-least successful werewolf of all-time.
In the meantime, Rivero is going through multiple hairstyle and color changes, until the final scenes where he looks like Joe Pesci in "JFK." So, basically, this picture is nothing but bad hair, bad accents and worse acting.
Stick to the original "Wolf Man," or even "Teen Wolf," if you want genuine thrills. Watch this one (especially the "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" version) if you want some unintentional laughs.
Actually, it wouldn't be fair to use the term "wolf," or any other member of the wolf family, since it resembles more of a bear, a bat, a cat, or a monkey in various incarnations.
During those crucial scenes, Martin Sheen's dumpier, homelier brother, Joe Estevez, make a few cameo appearances, and just like Emilio's career, disappears quickly and mercifully.
While villains Noel (Richard Lynch) and Yuri (George Rivero) take the bones and explains the legend of the Yomiguchi, or "the man who walks around on all fours" to a disinterested audience, dim-witted Natalie (Adrianna Miles-who conjures up vivid memories of Angelika Jager, the bizarrely-accented chick from Season One's "Robot Holocaust"), stands around, dull-eyed with mouth agape, uttering lines like, "This is fascinating," and "You and Paul is a weer-wilf."
Halfway through the film, two more inane characters appear, Paul (Fred Cavalli), who looks like Andy Kaufman's "foreign guy," and a goofy, bearded clown named "Sam the Keeper," who is a cross between Fidel Castro and Santa.
At a party, Paul humiliates Yuri, so, in revenge, the latter gets a security guard drunk and turns him into a lycanthrope, who crashes his car into a pile of oil drums. Later, Paul proves his ultimate effeminacy by being beat up by Yuri, hit with the canine cranium, and transforming into the second-least successful werewolf of all-time.
In the meantime, Rivero is going through multiple hairstyle and color changes, until the final scenes where he looks like Joe Pesci in "JFK." So, basically, this picture is nothing but bad hair, bad accents and worse acting.
Stick to the original "Wolf Man," or even "Teen Wolf," if you want genuine thrills. Watch this one (especially the "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" version) if you want some unintentional laughs.