Review of Scorcher

Scorcher (I) (2002)
3/10
Did Someone Remake Armageddon?
23 April 2006
The plot: the earth's tectonic plates are all screwed up, and a colonel has to place a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles to set the plates back the right direction. Other than the obvious fact it was inspired by "Armageddon", the plot has potential.

But there's theory and there's practice. And the actual movie is really messed up. There's a pause every five minutes for a speech about fathers abandoning daughters. There's a military man who wants to stop them, although the motive is really fuzzy. There's a romance that is never carried out. The fate of the 8 million or so LA residents is never mentioned. Basically, this film is full of subplots not fully explored and then ends very abruptly. It was like a novel ending mid-sentence (not unlike Douglas Adams' "Salmon of Doubt").

There were some good parts. The teenage girl, played by Raine Marcus, was a great choice. Beauty, brains, strong driving character. And she runs into a very unexpected turn of events when trying to escape from LA (if only Kurt Russell had been there). And John Rys-Davies is in this film, so that's good. I think maybe there was a line or two of dialogue I liked, if that counts.

So, yeah. Unfinished plots. A ripoff of Armageddon. Too much moralizing about the wrong things. And one big non-stop advertisement for the Blackberry (that Palm Pilot thing). Remember kids, carry a Blackberry on you at all times just in case you're knocked unconscious and kidnapped by a deformed serial killer with a love for fanatic Bible-thumpers! This film, obviously, is not recommended.
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