Mortuary (I) (2005)
3/10
Not worth the time of day.
26 March 2006
This movie was CRAP. The previews led you to believe it was something worth seeing but it wasn't.

The acting was terrible on so many levels. The only relatively decent acting came from the mother but shes been in the business a while so we can only expect it from her.

There really was no solid plot it kept jumping around. Reminded me a lot of something a 5th grader would try to write for a creative writing assignment.

One minute there's some legend of a mutated child/man who haunts graveyards the next there's black ooze thats stealing peoples souls! It was hard to keep track of exactly what was going on.

And does no one in this town die of natural causes? I mean they stated it was a small town and with their death rate they should be off the map in a week. Also when the living people were taken over they could still talk. The dead were just... mentally incapable it's like they lost their brains when they died! The ending left so many unanswered questions. It was like they just went "O crap we've run out of money in our budget we have to end it now lets slap together something really dumb!" What happened to Rita? What about the creepy guy with the cane? Why in the name of all that is sane in this world would someone move into a house like that in the first place. What about the diner chick? Does she survive? O and where did the sheriff's car go? You mean to tell me no one noticed it was there? This movie was truly one of the worst movies I've seen in a LONG time. It puts shame to the horror genre.

The only good thing about it was that cracking jokes at this was so easy a 5 year old could have done it, and that made it fun to laugh at.
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