Guido_TheKillerPimp Review of Incident on a Dark Street

Incident on a Dark Street (1973 TV Movie)

Mmmm Breathe deep the cheesiness of this TV Movie (or failed pilot you decide)

[1/10 · 17 February 2006]

What does an actor do when his TV show gets cancelled? Well, if you are William Shatner you slap on a ridiculous moustache and lambchop sideburns combo and audition as a heavy in a Pilot about the day-to-day action-packed life of the District Attorney office of Los Angeles County. What does a cast-off of a TV Western do? Well if you are David Canary you follow in the successful footsteps of your former Bonanza co-star Pernell Roberts and star in a Pilot about another public service organization in a major California city (no wait "San Francisco International" (1970) failed as a Pilot) With talent like this where can "An Incident On A Dark Street" round out the cast – hey how about second banana "The Godfather" Italian Stereotypes? Please tell me what was up with Richard S. Castellano?? (formerly "That fat Clemenza") As a second-generation Sicilian-American – on both sides of my family – I am not offended that he portrays a Sicilian as a mobster as much as he portrays a Sicilian as a monosyllabic mush-mouthed idiot who takes pets to bed with him in an apartment furnished in early-rathole. After his incredible emoting during his first meeting with David Canary's character I was wishing it was him who was killed instead of his brother, portrayed by Tony Giorgio – (formerly Bruno Tataglia). And Frank, paisan, when you stick your hand down a culvert expecting to touch a leather satchel of incriminating evidence against the Leopold Organized Crime Family (Leopold is Sicilian?!, must be that offshoot of that hell-raising Franco-Sicilian Mob my grandfather told me about on Palermo's lower east side…) and instead feel something metal – you don't pull on it – MINGIA! With guys like this in the Mob there is not much more work that DA James Olson will have to do before he retires and allows himself to get beamed back to the alien planet that spawned him. I mean c'mon is there anybody weirder looking that James Olson? Bob on Soap comes off less wooden than this guy! But thank god that we can round out the DA staff with the likes of Robert Pine and David Doyle. Robert Pine? Did this guy do anything after his weekly witty repartee at morning Roll Call with Ponch and John on CHiPs? And David Doyle? I don't know what it is about this guy but in this movie he just exudes oiliness. After watching him I get this unsettling feeling he may have rode around with the undercover cops on that pederasty case a LITTLE too long. (What's a pederast Walter? Shut the F*** Up, Donnie) But don't sell Mr. Doyle short; the one star I give this movie is attributed to his performance as the Bad Cop in the Bad Cop-Good Cop interrogation worked on our favorite morbidly obese goombah – priceless! I would have given this movie two stars but it lacked enough 70's pilot stalwarts. Give me Max Gail, Clu Gulagher, OK even Stuart Margolin and then maybe two stars. And how about more scenes with Shatner and his blond honey in the babydoll lingerie? The fact this outfit even made it to TV was interesting So if you are looking for that cheesy smell that went out with the '70s, "An Incident on a Dark Street" will allow you to reminisce with plenty of unintentional comedy