2/10
Hands down one of the lamest movies ever
7 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Schlocky entertainment about an astronaut who apparently gets some kind of weird radiation poisoning, and so his hand becomes murderous and possessed and wants to kill, a la Evil Dead. This is pretty much a huh? statement, but there it is. The astronaut begs NASA to kill him, which they do pretty readily. Did they have such a surplus that they could so casually blow up a qualified and trained astronaut? He could have had a nasty space virus; they really had no idea what was wrong with him.

Oh, well. Onward we go. The two scientists who were in charge of the launch(since when does NASA put scientists in charge of space launches?) go looking for the pieces of the astronaut who fell to Earth. One of these guys would later play the greasy middle brother in The Big Valley; fortunately, they didn't give him a tepid romance in this film, or I would have lost my lunch. Weren't most of these 50's and 60's films the wet dreams of science geeks? Studly and know-it-all scientist saves the day and gets the beautiful girl? Like that ever happened in real life.

Getting back to the dull movie, two teenagers are out ofr a walk on the beach and find what's left of the astronaut. The boy later comes back with a bag(a hand bag?) to collect the arm of the astronaut. I wasn't sure why he took just the arm, but really I suppose this movie didn't have to make much sense.

The kid's landlady is attacked by the semi-mobile killer hand. In swoops the Skipper, playing a chunky cop. Well, at least he didn't call NASA 'Nasau', like he did as the sheriff in Giant Spider Invasion. he thinks the kid offed his landlady, and is very suspicious of his story. And who wouldn't be? You and she were the only ones in the house, but you swear you didn't strangle her? Yeah, right, kid. He lets it go, and the kid is attacked by the hand and gets a good dose of the radiation poisoning, turning him into a killer in the making. There goes a double huh? Two idiot ambulance attendants take the kid as well as the body of the landlady, intending to cart him off to the hospital. He escapes from the ambulance, and goes on a murder spree of epic proportions-well, no he doesn't. He attempts several murders, but even infected with whatever it is he has he's a dud as a strangler.

There are some long, slow scenes, and then some weird bit with some cats who attack the crawling astronaut hand and eat it or something. Wouldn't they have gotten the disease, too? Just wondering. The cop and the scientists find the kid, and then Alan Hale is going to do us a favor and off the annoying kid, but once the hand is consumed by the cats the boy is released from the spell? Disease? Whatever, and they take him to the hospital, where we're very much afraid that he'll recover. What's left of the hand is wrapped up good and taken away-by those same two idiot ambulance drivers! One of these dopes is curious about what's in the box they're supposed to be transporting, so he opens it. End of movie, leaving us wondering if there was supposed to be a sequel of some kind. Thank God that one was never made. Let's give a huge hand to whoever nixed that project.
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