2/10
Wooden, disjointed, poorly constructed
20 July 2004
Chronicles of Riddick, which I just got back from seeing was perhaps one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and this is coming from someone who loves Science Fiction a great deal. This movie was horrible, it made no sense, and then when things started to make a little sense it didn't make the plot any better. Vin Disel can act... as himself, which means the way he always acts-- as the near silent tough guy. I found him much more believable in the Fast and the Furious, and much more laughable in this movie.

There were more cheesy lines in this movie than an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie and Matrix: Revolutions put together. It made me realize why, exactly, we accompany other people to the movies for... to groan together when a movie becomes too unbearable to stand. The characters, all of them, were wooden and cardboard and talked in stilted monosyllable sentences. It was like watching a cruel parody of a great epic like "Lord of the Rings" gone horribly wrong.

The special effects and camera work of the movie does little to save it, but it was at least something to focus on when I couldn't stand the acting (or lack of acting) anymore. There were some really disorientating fight scenes where the use of strobe lights was way overdone and headache inducing.

Any feminist who watches this movie will be blown away by the absurd amount of machismo in this... men posture and posture more, while the women cower in fear and wait to be saved. A minor exception is a bounty hunter girl who is featured along with the rest of her nameless crew. Dame Vaako is put in her place early by a man saying exactly that, but proves herself to be, well, a little more than a sex object as she starts to convince Vaako to overthrow the throne with her. Yay, stereotypical evil woman in tightfitting clothing. That look like they hurt for that matter. Kyra made even less sense, as in the beautiful long haired acrobatic girl who can apparently take care of herself, then still needs Riddick to come save her at least three times in the movie. Was there anything in this movie that wasn't stereotypical? *yawns*

The ending, which was an ending I actually quite enjoyed, I was already so jaded by the rest of the movie to care much.

In conclusion this is a horribly written, horribly constructed, disjointed light show with stilted dialogue and wooden performances. If you must watch this movie watch it for the few times that the cinematography breaks out of headache inducing mode and actually shines, as well as some of the special effects, because you aren't going to get much else out of Chronicles of Riddick.
10 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed